She held her palms up, probably wondering if I was going to do anything or just sit there, because I had what the broadcasting industry called “dead air.” That meant nothing was happening on the radio station.
No music. Nobody talking. Nothing. Just silence.
Dead air was bad.
I knew that, but I obviously was in shock since I wasn’t doing anything about it.
“Are you there?” Zachary nervously chuckled. “Look, it’s not like we saw each other much anyway since you work these ridiculous hours at night.”
I shook my head at the nerve of this man. “You called to break up with me on the radio?”
“I’m on the air? Seriously? Are you trying to make me sound bad with your listeners?”
“No, you’re doing that on your own. And why did you call the radio station? You never call me here.”
“I tried calling your cell phone, but you didn’t pick up, and you haven’t returned any of my text messages.”
I sighed. “I lost my phone.”
“Well, I don’t want to do this on the radio. And you should be happy for me!”
Tessa must have seen my nostrils flaring from the other studio because she was shaking her finger at me, urging me not to take the bait.
I had spent so much time helping Zachary with his resume, searching for job openings for him while I was on and off the radio, and coaching him on his interview skills. I practically got that job for him. Then he had the gall to dump me the minute he got what he wanted? I wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily.
I scooted closer to the microphone. “You got what you wanted and you don’t need me anymore. I get it.”
“I can’t pass up the opportunity. You would be a distraction to my future.”
I reached for my mocha, once again forgetting that I didn’t have one. “Damn.” I covered my mouth with my hand, realizing I had just sworn on the radio. Not one of the worst curse words in the world, but still, I had never done it before.
I was ready to go ballistic. “You used me!”
“Why are you being so bitchy? Don’t exaggerate.”
I tried to control my breathing so I didn’t huff and puff into the microphone. “Let this be a lesson to everyone listening this evening. Relationships are a two-way street. Well, except in my case, of course. I pretty much spent all my free time over the last six months helping my boyfriend get a job. And how does he repay me? A fancy dinner? Roses? That cute necklace I saw in the window at a jewelry store? Nope. Zachary says thank you by dumping me live on the radio.”
“I didn’t ask to be on the radio.”
“And I didn’t ask to be with someone who was selfish and only cared about himself. Goodbye, Zachary.” I hung up on him and pulled up the music search function on the computer, looking for a particular song that would fit my unpleasant mood. “This is going to be a first, my friends. I am going to dedicate a song to myself. I deserve it after what I just went through, don’t you agree?” I scrolled and scrolled, and then finally double-clicked on the song so it loaded in the system to go next. “This pretty much sums up my sentiments at the moment.”
I started the song “Love Stinks” by J. Geils Band. Cranking up the volume, I blasted the music louder than I had ever done before and sat back in my chair.
The phones went crazy, all seven lines lighting up at the same time with calls coming in.
Tessa rushed into the on-air studio. “You can’t play this song. You know you’re breaking format and you could get in trouble.”
I waved off her comment. “A love song is a song about love. ‘Love Stinks’ is technically about love, is it not?”
“Your songs are supposed to encourage the listeners.”
“And that’s exactly what it’s doing! It’s encouraging people to stay as far away from love as possible.”
Tessa frowned. “You’re not yourself, Lori. This is not like you at all.”
Maybe I had finally snapped, but I didn’t care at the moment.
“Please . . . play a different song. Put on some Eric Clapton or Whitney Houston or the Righteous Brothers.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.”
She rolled her eyes.
Suddenly, I was overcome with laughter and I couldn’t stop. “Of all the crazy things to happen, my boyfriend chose to break up with me on the radio.”
I laughed again, shook my head, and wondered if I was starting to lose my mind.
“You need to get back to your show,” Tessa said. “Shake it off. Take the caller on line three.”
“I have a better idea.” I slid my headphones over my head, faded out the song, and tapped the microphone button. “You’re listening to Love Songs and Dedications with Lori, and well, isn’t it funny how your life can change in the blink of an eye? Well, maybe not funny, but you know what I mean.” I pressed line one on the phone, even though Tessa hadn’t screened the caller. “You’re on the air with Lori, who’s this?”
“Hi, Lori. This is Frida. Your boyfriend is a total jerk!”
“You got that right.”
“The same thing happened to me. My boyfriend was supposed to be splitting the rent with me every month, but I had been paying the whole thing for over a year. When I had finally had enough and brought it up, he said that I should be more supportive and understanding since he was trying to get out of debt. I told him to get out of my house instead.”
“Good riddance! Who needs a deadbeat man? Not me, I’ll tell you that much.”
Tessa shook her head and walked out of the studio.
“And you know what, Lori? I was fine before I met him and I’ll survive without him.”
“Yes, Frida! That’s a great attitude to have, and I have the perfect song for you. Thanks for calling.”
I played “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor and cranked the music up again.
The calls kept coming in, one after another, more calls than I had ever had in the past. It was like I had hit the energize button on the female population and motivated them even more to call in. Who would have thought my on-air break-up would have resulted in my busiest night?
The calls were different, though. Instead of looking for support and encouragement, these women were looking to vent. The songs I dedicated to them had changed as well:
“50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon
“All By Myself” by Eric Carmen
“Alone Again (Naturally)” by Gilbert O’Sullivan
“Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson
“Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers
“It’s the End of the World as We Know It” by R.E.M.
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler
I sat back, thinking maybe I had invented a new radio format without even knowing it. Forget about Adult Contemporary or Country or Classic Rock.
Welcome to Breakup Radio!
I shook my head and laughed. “Right . . .”
Who was I kidding?
I knew it would never happen.
I also knew I would get a slap on the wrist for playing these songs if the program director ever found out. He rarely listened to my show. Unless he got a complaint or someone told him, he would probably never find out. The radio station did have what was called an aircheck system, a computer program that recorded everything that was said when the microphone was turned on, but he rarely listened to that either.