‘Okay,’ I said. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
It wasn’t until she had gone that it dawned on me she had got the wrong end of the stick. It seemed she thought I was worried about what people would think of me, rather than what she would think. But in spite of the misunderstanding, I was pleased to have reached her before the rumour mill did, and I had to be satisfied with that.
*
Having tried to make amends with Sam in the pub and given the low-down to Hope before she heard the enhanced part deux version, the only other person I needed to talk to was Joe. I could understand that he felt protective towards Hope because he was clearly still smitten with her, but why let me assume that the person who had gone blabbing about our non-kiss was Sam?
I can’t deny that as I drove out to the farm, I was beginning to feel scared that he was purposefully trying to stir up trouble for his old friend. After all, the guy was responsible for his little brother’s death and he had also won Hope’s heart but, surely, Joe understood that moving back and making everyone’s lives a misery was not going to give him any satisfaction or peace in the long run.
‘Hey!’ I called as I swung my car off the road, on to the farm drive and came bumper to bumper with a tractor. ‘I need to talk to you.’
‘What the hell are you doing?’ Joe shouted, opening the door and jumping out with Bruce hot on his heels. ‘I could have hit you, swinging in here at that speed.’
I quickly climbed out before Bruce’s jumping up and sharp claws left their mark on the paintwork.
‘Never mind my driving,’ I insensitively bit back. ‘I want to know why you told me that it was Sam who told you what had happened between us in the pub.’
‘I thought you said nothing had happened.’
‘You know what I mean.’
He made a grab for Bruce’s collar and made the dog sit at his feet.
‘I never said it was Sam,’ he frowned, keeping a tight hold on Bruce, who had started to whine and looked like a coiled spring, his tail thumping on the dusty drive.
‘Yes, you did,’ I shot back.
‘No,’ said Joe, ‘I did not.’
It seemed we had reached an impasse and I mentally trawled back over everything he had said in the cottage, just to be sure.
‘Well,’ I flushed, when I recalled he hadn’t actually mentioned Sam by name, ‘you told me you’d been to the pub and had been given a first-hand account.’
‘So?’
‘So, you let me think that it came from Sam, didn’t you? As far as I knew, he was the only person in the pub that late at night. I thought everyone else had left while we were clearing up. I had no idea that this Patrick guy, who works for you, was still there.’
‘But that’s not my fault,’ Joe pointed out, sounding annoyed. ‘I can’t be held responsible for what you thought I’d said, as opposed to what I’d actually said, can I?’
I didn’t answer. I suppose it did make more sense that he would stay and have a coffee in the pub once he’d realized Sam wasn’t there.
‘You were the one who jumped to conclusions, Tess,’ Joe carried on. ‘I only mentioned it because I was looking out for Hope.’
‘Right,’ I said, ‘I see.’
‘So, are we good?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘We’re good.’
I was embarrassed but also relieved that I had read the situation wrong. Joe hadn’t been trying to stir up trouble after all. I had just imagined he had.
‘I’m sorry,’ I told him, ‘and you needn’t worry about Hope because I’m not interested in Sam that way.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No,’ I lied, ‘and even if I was, I’d hardly do anything about it, would I? I’ve struck up a great friendship with Hope and I’d never go behind her back.’
‘Of course, you wouldn’t,’ he said, shaking his head, ‘and I’m sorry for inferring that you would.’
‘Okay.’
‘So, can we just forget about this then?’ he asked.
‘Well,’ I said, ‘we can try, but given that I went to the pub after you left and accused Sam of spreading gossip in front of a packed bar, that might be easier said than done.’
‘Oh no,’ said Joe, ‘you didn’t?’
‘I did,’ I said, wincing at the memory. ‘You know, things would be a whole lot easier around here if you two could leave the past in the past and at least try to get along. That way there wouldn’t be anything to misinterpret or get muddled up.’
I wasn’t trying to shift the blame for what I had done on to either him or Sam, but if they could just rub along, it would be a help to everyone.
‘You make it sound so easy,’ said Joe, biting his lip.
‘It could be,’ I began.
‘No,’ he stepped in, cutting me off, ‘it couldn’t and I’m sorry, Tess, but I really need to get on.’
I watched as he climbed back into the cab and tried to settle Bruce. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and I wished I knew what I could do to make it all melt away.
Chapter 19
More than aware that my assumptions had led me to making a mess of things, I decided to stay out of everyone’s way and lay low for a couple of the days. I had upset, angered and disappointed both Sam and Joe, and let Hope down to boot, so the best thing I could do was bide my time and let the dust settle. It didn’t feel good to have cocked up so badly and I didn’t like myself very much. I had steamed in like a bull in a china shop and had consequently scuppered my chance to act as intermediary between the two men I had become friends with. That is, assuming they still wanted to be friends with me.
I constantly thought back to what Sophie had said just a few days before – ‘before you decide that you have discovered something isn’t true or real, and act on it, make sure you’re in full possession of all the facts and that you have them in the right order.’ I had been in no doubt that Joe had heard some gossip in the pub, but I certainly hadn’t gathered ‘all the facts’ about it or checked their order before reacting to them.
Mulling all this over led me back to Mum’s diary again. For a while I had been utterly convinced that I had interpreted everything correctly, but now, having made such a silly mistake and upset my friends in the process, I was doubting the evidence typed out in front of me.
There was nothing specific to keep nudging my belief in what Mum had written into disbelief, but there was something niggling away nonetheless and this involved my last living relative so I really couldn’t afford to get it wrong. If I unjustifiably acted on the information and confronted Dad with it, then the implications could last for the rest of my life.
I daresay some people would have said that what went on in my parents’ marriage was nothing to do with me and, now that Mum had gone, I should let it all lie, but there was more to it than that. What Mum had written about Dad’s behaviour made a mockery of everything he claimed to believe in. If what Mum had recorded was true then he was the biggest hypocrite and his whole ethos about life, as well as business, was a sham and, as I was still (for the moment) his most senior employee, that made it a lot to do with me. These weighty accusations had the potential to be about more than just my parents’ marriage, they were calling Dad’s whole character into question.