“Aw, if you don’t stop saying things like that, you’re gonna make me blush.” Law winked. “But don’t stop, because I like hearing how pretty I am.”
It was the perfect thing to say. I laughed, and he did too, and then we were kissing and laughing and touching, skin to skin, body to body, man on man.
My cock was aching, but I wanted nothing more than to touch his. I wrapped a hand around it, and Law hissed, closed his eyes, and gave himself to me.
It wasn’t enough. I wanted more, because what if this was the only time? What if he got bored or decided he didn’t want guys, or just me, or that he wanted that girl Sara who was always with his friends, if she was easier and more fun and didn’t get all lost in her head.
So I kissed my way down his chest, his flat, muscular stomach, to his dick that was long and hard and smelled like salt and skin and Law.
“Oh fuck.” His body bowed off the bed when I took him into my mouth. I was pretty sure I wasn’t very good, but he didn’t seem to mind. Law threaded his fingers through my hair as I sucked him and licked him and tried to take him deep.
“Rem…fuck, I can’t believe you’re doing this. That feels so good,” he mumbled, guiding me. A couple of minutes later he tensed, and his voice was tight when he said, “I’m gonna come. If you don’t want it, Christ, you better pull off.”
But I wanted it. Wanted all of him. He thrust a bit, then spilled his load into my mouth, and it was thick and salty and…yeah, something I would have to get used to.
“I think I’m going to die,” he said. I wasn’t looking at his face, just watched his cock as it softened and rested in the nest of dark-blond hair at his groin. Still, I heard the smile in his voice. “Here, I’ll try and blow you too.”
“You don’t have to.” My dick twitched, apparently not happy with what I’d said.
“I want to.” He flipped me, and I lay on my back, watching him as he sucked me and feeling like this was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn’t get over it, the fact that he was there with me, that he wanted me, even if it was temporary.
I came in his mouth too, and by the look on his face, it didn’t seem he was into it any more than I was.
“An acquired taste, maybe.” Law frowned, and I laughed.
He lay beside me, touching me, rubbing his thumbs against my nipples and my Adam’s apple. My collarbone and down my chest and into my belly button, like he was trying to learn me and play me too. Like maybe he was as obsessed with me as I was with him, though I couldn’t understand why he would be.
“You’re beautiful too,” he said after a moment, and I rolled my eyes. “Stop doing that. You are. I mean, look, you have me enamored.” Law shrugged.
I shook my head, but a smile tilted my lips.
“How do you think your mom will feel when you come out?” he asked, and I tensed.
“I, um…I don’t think it’ll be good. She might surprise me, but I didn’t grow up the same way you did. She was overprotective because of my dad leaving. I’m from a rural area and lived outside of town. We weren’t close to people except in our church, and I didn’t have friends except them, only they weren’t really my friends. They pretended to be when our parents were looking, but then they called me weird when we were alone.” Ugh. I hated admitting that to him, thought maybe it would make him realize he should be with someone else, someone better, but he turned and looked at me.
“Fuck them. You’re better than they are. You make me see the world differently.” The last part was said more softly, and it was maybe the best thing anyone had ever said to me. “Will you play for me?”
“Yeah, sure,” I replied, thankful he’d asked. Playing and singing were the easiest way for me to express myself, to simply be. It was a whole lot better than talking about what we had been.
I got out of bed and reached for my jeans.
“Nope. Naked. You have to play for me naked.”
For the second time, he made me roll my eyes, but I didn’t put my pants on. I got my guitar, climbed onto the bed, and played and sang for hours. My throat got scratchy. Law got me water and then lay there, listening. Sometimes I wouldn’t sing and we’d just talk as my fingers danced along the guitar strings.
When it was getting late, he crawled toward me, fitting his head around the guitar. “Do you think you can play while I suck you off? It was kind of fun. I like seeing you get out of your head the way you did when you came.”
“No!” Holy fuck. Was he crazy? I couldn’t do anything with his mouth on my dick.
“What about if I use my hand on you?”
“Still no, and I’ve played enough for tonight.”
Law chuckled. “Try.”
So I did. I tried to play guitar while he jerked me off. It was shit, but it didn’t matter. Afterward, I set the guitar down and jacked him off too, before we turned off the lights and lay in bed, sweaty and come-y and sated.
“You’re gonna make it, Rem. You don’t think you will, but I know it.”
I wanted that, God, I wanted it. “The odds aren’t in my favor. How many people want to be musicians and fail?”
“I don’t give a shit about them. I swear, I think you’re made of music…like there’s no blood in there, only lyrics and notes. Well, maybe blood, since I get your dick hard so easily. And come too. You have some of that.”
Then we were laughing and kissing again. When he fell asleep, I sneaked out of bed and grabbed my notebook and a pen.
Who I am when I’m with you,
That’s who I always wanna be.
To see myself through your eyes,
To know myself through your touch.
It’s where I always wanna be, yeah, where I always wanna be.
CHAPTER TWO
Lawson
I was perched on a stool in Griff’s, the bar owned by my friend Griffin, who was making drinks. On one side of me was my buddy Knox, Chase on the other. Knox and I both had a beer, but Chase didn’t. He was a local patrol officer and best friends with Griffin, who was also the brother of Chase’s boyfriend, Kellan, who was at the pool table with his friends Josh and Natalie. We were a crazy group, and often congregated at Griff’s, a good place for us all to meet up. It wasn’t always about drinking, though I did enjoy an ice-cold beer, but about hanging out. It wasn’t as if there was a whole lot to do in Havenwood.
“I ran up on a guy broken down yesterday,” Chase said from beside me. “New in town. He’s a little different. Can’t put my finger on what it is. He’s your neighbor, by the way. Bought the old Jackson place.”
“No shit? I didn’t know it was for sale.” If I had, I might have found a way to buy it myself. I wanted that property. I’d always wanted it. That along with my own…hell, there were plenty of options in that. Plus, the Jackson place had the lake. “I tried for it myself. They wouldn’t budge. Not that I could afford it, anyway.”
To do that, I would have to get money from my parents, which would come with all sorts of fucking strings I sure as shit didn’t want to be tied to. They were good people, and they loved me, but I also knew I was a bit of a disappointment. I didn’t want to take over Grant’s, and I didn’t want Sunrise to be more than a small café. I didn’t need all that. Never had. At one point I thought I did, but I’d been lying to myself, because that was who I thought I had to be.