Her head hurt and if he didn’t quit yelling at her, she was going to find something to hurl at his head. “Please, do not yell.”
“I am not yellin’,” he shouted.
Raising her brow, she took in a deep, cleaning breath. “I am blind, not deaf,” she told him.
“I asked ye where in the hell was Marisse when ye were fallin’ down the stairs?”
Marisse stood taller and stepped towards him from her place by the fire. “I had gone to get yer brothers,” she said. “They had been in the kitchens helping Hattie.”
Aeschene knew exactly where he was going with his question. She took in another deep breath, stood, and placed her hands on her hips. For the first time in her life, she raised her own voice. “Ye will not blame Marisse!” she exclaimed. “’Twas my own fault. I should have waited for someone to help.”
“Damned right ye should have waited!”
Her fury erupted and she couldn’t hold back. “Now ye listen to me, Black Richard MacCullough,” she pointed her finger in his general direction. “Ye are just as much to blame as I am.”
Dumbstruck by her accusation, he lowered his voice and glowered. “Me?”
“Aye, ye!” she said. “Ye are ashamed of my blindness.”
He took several steps toward her. “Nothin’ could be further from the truth.”
Aeschene growled back at him. “When we first arrived, I asked ye about a banister, a rail, so that I could go up and down the stairs on my own. But ye refused, because the rail would be a constant reminder of what a disappointment I am to ye.” Furious tears filled her eyes. All sense of pride and dignity flew away and she no longer cared who saw or heard the tongue lashing she was giving her husband.
She had tried being the quiet, docile, dutiful wife and thus far, it had gotten her nowhere. “Such a disappointment I am, that ye will not be seen outside the keep with me. Ye won’t even sleep with me!”
Richard closed his eyes and counted to ten before he responded. While he was as yet unready to give his wife his full and complete trust, he couldn’t allow her to think he thought her inferior.
“We do not have a rail because if we are ever attacked, I do not want to give our enemies easy access to anywhere in this keep.”
He saw understanding flash in her brilliant blue eyes. But a heartbeat later, her fury returned.
With her hands balled into fists, she lifted her chin and asked, “Then why do ye not sleep with me? Why will ye nae walk with me at night? Why do ye refuse to spend any time with me outside of our bed chamber.”
Richard glanced at Donald. He had finished the stitches and had begun to pack his healing kit away. Seeing the fury in Richard’s eyes, he increased his pace.
“Marisse, please take Raibeart and Colyne,” she said as she fought to keep the tears from falling.
Marisse ushered the boys out of the gathering room with Donald following close behind.
There was no real way of answering Aeschene’s questions without adding to her hurt.
They stood in silence for a very long while.
Aeschene was the first to break the silence. “Ye do nae trust me,” she whispered as more tears filled her eyes. The realization hurt her significantly, there was no mistaking it. There was also no way to deny it without lying to her.
Too hurt to stay and face any further humiliation, she turned around and headed up the stairs. With a handful of skirts in one hand, she placed the other on the stone wall for balance.
“Ye’re going to fall and break yer neck!” Richard called out as he started for the stairs.
“And would that not make ye as happy as a lamb in spring grass.” She didn’t look back.
Richard followed behind her. “Ye cannae go up and down the stairs without help!” He reminded her angrily.
Aeschene clenched her jaw tight, refusing to cry. “How can I forget?” she replied. “I am reminded of it every moment of every day,”
Chapter Twenty
Aeschene woke hours later, feeling no better than before she had cried herself to sleep. Alone, feeling bereft and exhausted, she slid from the bed and made her way to the basin. As she splashed cold water on her face, her stomach churned with humiliation and a sense of sadness she hadn’t experienced since losing her grandminny. She felt like weeping again when she thought of her mother’s mother. Never a kinder nor stronger woman ever graced the earth. What she would not give to have just a few moments with her again to seek her counsel and good advice.
Carefully, she made her way to the window seat. The fur was pulled away allowing sunshine to spill into the room. Curling her legs under, she let the cool afternoon breeze wash over her as she thought back to the argument she’d had with Richard. She fought hard to find answers as well as solutions.
She heard the sound of the door opening and a moment later, Marisse’s voice. “May I come in?”
Guilt filled Aeschene’s heart. Quickly, she slid down from the seat and held her arms open as her tears returned. “Marisse, I am so very sorry for yellin’ at ye.”
Marisse, never one to hold a grudge for long, quickly accepted the apology and warm embrace. “Do not fash over it,” she said and she hugged her tightly. “If I were married to Richard MacCullough, I would want to yell all the time.”
Marisse’s attempt at levity did make Aeschene feel better, but only slightly.
“Now,” Marisse said as she helped Aeschene to sit in front of the fire. “What are we goin’ to do about that husband of yers?”
Hurt and humiliated ’twas difficult for Aeschene to talk about. But if anyone could help her find a solution, ’twas Marisse.
Marisse listened patiently, offering soothing words of comfort wherever possible. While she still believed Richard cared for Aeschene, she also believed he was too stubborn to admit it. Her opinions, she kept to herself for she understood her friend simply needed to cry it all out. Besides, she was too upset just yet to reason with.
“He does not trust me,” Aeschene said with a sniffle. “I simply do not ken what more I can do to prove to him he can.”
Marisse had no kind reply. Richard had been behaving like an idiot for the past week or so, especially where it pertained to his wife. His wife who was now laying on a bed crying her eyes out.
“All good marriages start out with a few rough bumps,” Marisse told her. “This is yer’s.”
“But how can we press forward if he does not trust me? How can we move beyond all of this?”
Again, she had no answers. “I do not ken. But I am certain Richard will eventually come around.”
“When?” Aeschene cried. “He is so stubborn, I could have given him ten children before he realizes I am his ally and not his enemy.”
There was probably more truth to that statement than either of them wanted to admit. Still, Marisse was positive that they could do something to nudge Richard to the conclusion Aeschene so desperately wanted him to arrive at.
“Move out of his chamber and back into mine,” Marisse told her. ’Twas mayhap not the most ethical of choices a woman could make, but these were desperate times. She couldn’t stand watching her friend cry.