Because the truth was—I wasn’t all right.
And until I knew that Cruz was okay, I wouldn’t be all right.
When the plane landed, Lennon had a car there ready to take me to the hospital. When I arrived, I hurried inside to find him in the waiting area.
“Hey,” he said.
“Have you seen him? Is it him?”
“I just got here, they said they’d take us back in a minute. The nurse wanted to speak to the doctor first,” he said.
The enormous lump in my throat kept my words at bay. I dropped my bag at my feet and Lennon pulled me into his arms and said what he probably thought I needed to hear. “He’s going to be okay.”
But we didn’t know that. Cruz had been brought in unconscious. He was far from fine.
“Okay, I can take you back to see if this is your loved one, and if it is, Dr. Wallace will be in to speak to you about his condition.” A tall woman with long blonde hair stood in front of us. She wore light blue scrubs, and she led us down a long hallway.
Monitors were beeping and voices blurred in the background. I used the sleeve of my hoodie to swipe at my face, as the tears made it difficult to see.
She pushed the door open and held out her arm for us to enter. I took one look at him, and a new set of tears found their way down my cheeks. I covered my mouth to muffle the sounds that I could no longer hold back.
Cruz lies there in bed, with cords coming out of his arms, his face was bruised, and he had a large bandage across his forehead. I hurried to the side of the bed and reached for his hand, leaning down to press my cheek against it.
“Holy shit. What the hell happened?” Lennon asked the nurse.
“I don’t know the details, but I was told there was a head-on collision and he was brought in by ambulance.”
I stroked the hair away from his beautiful face and tried to assess his injuries.
“What surgery did he have?” I croaked.
“I’ll go get the doctor so he can fill you in.”
Dr. Wallace came in to speak to Lennon and I. Cruz was actually lucky considering the gravity of the accident. Thankfully, he was not ejected from the car, and the airbag had most likely saved his life. They’d had to remove a portion of his spleen, he also had a punctured lung and three broken ribs. He was covered in cuts and bruises, and he hadn’t been conscious when they first brought him in, but the doctor insisted that wasn’t unusual. He didn’t appear to have any traumatic brain injury, and he said we would just have to watch him closely for the next twenty-four hours to see how he progressed. Dr. Wallace was hopeful that he would wake up soon.
Luke, Bailey, Adam, Zach, and Juliette all showed up shortly after we arrived. I sent a group text to my father, Sara, Ari and Sam to let them know what was happening. I never left the chair beside Cruz’s bed. It felt like my heart had been ripped from my body as I sat there for hours watching, as he just lies there with no movement.
Late in the evening, Lennon convinced everyone to take off and get some sleep at the hotel across the street. I had no intention of leaving, and the nurse said I was welcome to sleep in the chair next to Cruz. Lennon didn’t fight me, and he said he’d keep his phone on him and to call if there was any change. They’d all be back in the morning.
I dozed off a few times and startled when I’d hear voices outside the room, or when someone would come in to check his vitals. My hand rested in Cruz’s and something moved, and I jumped. I squinted to see as the room was dark, but the light from the moon peeked through the cracks in the blinds and illuminated his face. Honey browns locked with mine.
“Hey, you’re awake,” I said with a gasp, leaning forward in my chair so I could stroke his hair.
“Hey, More Jade.”
I was overwhelmed with emotion. The fear that I’d lost him. That he wouldn’t recover. That I’d lied to him and he’d never forgive me. It all bubbled up and rose to the surface, and I moved closer to him. “Cruz, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I’m not mad at you, baby. You were just trying to protect me. I get it.”
I rested my cheek against the back of his hand. Tears dropped down, landing on his forearm, and I didn’t try to stop them. “I should have told you the truth. I’m sorry.”
“I know you are. No more secrets, okay?”
“No more secrets,” I said.
“What happened? How long have I been out?”
“You were in an accident last night.” I glanced down at my phone for the time, and my voice trembled as I told him what happened. “Over twenty-four hours ago. They removed part of your spleen, and you have a punctured lung and a few broken ribs.”
“Yeah, I’m sore as hell. Where are we?”
“We’re in Temple, Texas,” I said, my fingers intertwining with his.
“Jesus. I didn’t get very far. I remember seeing a car coming toward me on my side of the road.”
“We don’t have any details yet, but apparently a few people had called in to report a person driving reckless and swerving between lanes, and the police were right behind him when he crossed over and hit you. The nurse told us he was presumed drunk and given a sobriety test. But we haven’t heard anything certain yet. Luckily the police were there, and they were able to get you to the hospital right away.”
“Holy shit. Is the other guy okay?” he asked.
I shook my head. “According to the nurse, he’s fine. But I’d like to have a few minutes alone with him in a room.”
“You going to use your ninja moves on him?” he teased.
“Sure am. I love you.”
“Love you more,” he said.
The three words I most needed to hear.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Cruz
I’d spent almost two weeks in the hospital in Temple before Jade and I headed home to Chicago. I’d been here recuperating for another week and a half. The doctor had agreed it would be okay for me to try to perform the last two weeks of the tour, so I could officially transition out of Exiled and close that chapter of my life. We could have just called it done after the accident, but I wanted to do it right and pass the baton to Zach. I owed it to the guys and to the fans. Jade had assured Dr. Wallace that if it was too much, she would make sure I sat out the second half of the set. The girl had been playing nurse since the day I woke up in the hospital, and I fucking loved it. I wasn’t used to being cared for the way Jade cared for me. We’d been through a shit ton together, and I was ready for a simpler life with her.
We were flying to Los Angeles tomorrow for two weeks, and then I’d be done touring with the band. Jade and I had put what happened with my father behind us. I knew she’d only been trying to protect me, and I couldn’t fault her for that. I hadn’t heard from my father since the night of our argument at the hotel. Not during the two weeks I’d been in the hospital, and not since I’d been released. And I was okay with that. My accident had been covered on every news channel, so there was no way he’d missed what happened. But I served my father no purpose when I wasn’t on stage performing, and the man had a one-track mind.