“Zach.” Faith gave him a one-armed hug. “It’s good to see you.”
“Same goes for you, Faith.”
“Carolyn says you’ve retired from the SEALs,” her mother said. “I guess that means you’ll be sticking around.”
“Mom, Zach’s just getting used to civilian life,” Carolyn interrupted, trying to preempt her mother’s gushing. Faith had told her from the beginning that Zach was a keeper. Carolyn suspected that her mother had been upset with her for letting him go, but as Carolyn saw it, she’d had no choice. She hadn’t been able to live with the uncertainty any longer. Faith had repeatedly expressed her disappointment in Zach when he failed to acknowledge his son.
But, it seemed, he was forgiven after Carolyn explained that he genuinely hadn’t known about the pregnancy. Carolyn wasn’t willing to trust quite that easily herself. She’d wait. If things continued as they were and Zach remained interested in being with Austin, she’d let her guard down a bit. She already had, she admitted to herself. She was wearing the ring he’d given her, even if it had just been for show. She was sure her mother hadn’t missed the flash of diamond on her finger.
Faith turned to her. “Any luck with Drew Castle?” She’d confided in her mother about their plan to confront him.
“No, we didn’t learn anything new. I don’t think Drew’s behind the sabotage. He offered to buy us out again, though.”
“He’s relentless.” Her mother dismissed the idea with a wave. “I’m glad you had Zach with you.”
He had been helpful—or, at least, she’d felt better having him with her.
“Thanks for keeping Austin,” Carolyn said. “We’ll take off since I want to get him home in time for dinner.”
Her mother gave Austin a noisy kiss and patted Zach’s cheek before giving Carolyn a hug, whispering in her ear, “I’m so happy to see you two together again.”
She wanted to say they weren’t together, but her mother had timed it so Carolyn had no chance to disagree without making a scene. Being with Zach again wasn’t going to magically happen overnight. If it happened at all. Oh, heck, she didn’t even know if she wanted it to happen. Thinking it would was unrealistic and potentially the road to heartache.
At home, she made sandwiches for a quick dinner before settling down to work at the alcove in her kitchen while Zach took Austin into the living room to play. Even though she tried to focus on emails and calls, she could hear giggling. For now, Zach was making Austin happy, very happy, judging by the peals of laughter.
She’d just take a peek, she decided, tiptoeing into the living room. Zach lay on his back, holding Austin at arm’s length above him. He zoomed the boy over his head while making noises like a plane taking off. The muscles in Zach’s arms flexed and rippled with the effort. For a minute, Carolyn got sucked into the fantasy of a perfect family life. She found herself twisting the engagement ring she hadn’t yet removed. How good would it be if she came home to the two of them every evening? If they were a real family?
But it couldn’t be. They weren’t husband and wife, raising their son together. They were…friends trying to make this arrangement work, to be there for their child, despite their differences in the past.
7
Zach placed Austin in the crib that night, leaning over to kiss his forehead before straightening.
“All set?” Carolyn said softly from next to him. She placed her hand on his arm.
During the trip to Castle Jewels, he’d held her hand and touched her as a fiancé would, falling easily into that role again and liking it. With her touch, was she signaling her desire for more between them? He hoped she might be.
“I think so.” Austin’s eyes were already closed. “He’s tired today.”
“Lots of play time,” she commented before kissing their son good night and adjusting the soft blanket he slept with.
Zach had already started the soother and turned on the night-light, so they crept out and went downstairs. He didn’t notice that she’d paused at the bottom of the steps, waiting for him, and he bumped into her. To steady her, his arm went around her waist as it had so many times in the past, and she looked up. Her eyes had always reflected her thoughts. He liked what he saw in them at that moment.
Without overthinking it, he pulled her closer, pleased when her arms went around his neck and she snugged her curvy figure against him. The sultry smile on her lips was the only invitation he needed as he covered her mouth with his. A soft moan, a sound he remembered well, came from her as he deepened the kiss, teasing the seam of her lips until she opened for him.
Her tongue slid against his, the friction hot and wet, making him think about other ways they might come together. Sex with her had always been good, better than he’d known with anyone else. This kiss was a reminder of all that and something more, he decided, when she nipped his lips playfully and her hands slid to his butt.
He pushed his leg between hers, thinking her couch was a good place to test the chemistry. When he made a step toward the living room, though, she backed away, loosening her hold on him.
“You’d better go,” she said, her voice husky and cheeks flushed. He bit his lip but didn’t take offense at her words. Leaving was probably the smart move until he was certain what she wanted. The kiss gave him an indication, maybe more of a beacon, but their relationship was complicated, and he didn’t want to jeopardize things by pushing too hard too fast.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pressed one last kiss on her lips and let himself out the door. He’d return later to watch over the house, but their kiss had given him plenty to think about. He wanted her. That had become clear to him over the past few days. He still regretted he’d missed out on his son’s first year, but he believed she’d tried to contact him, so any blame he’d wanted to pile on her was gone.
All he could see now was that he loved her as much as he had two years before, maybe even more now that they shared a son. He wanted Carolyn and Austin as his family, not just to visit or watch over from the street. He wanted to live with them and share everything. It would be a matter of convincing her of that. The good-night kiss was a good indication of her feelings, but building a life together wasn’t as easy as just moving in.
He considered the best way to win her back as he drove across town to a buddy’s place for their weekly poker game. Zach stopped to buy chips, salsa, and beer, his contribution to the evening, before heading to his former spotter’s house. He and Nick Kobal went way back, having worked as a team during several missions. Nick retired from the SEALs three years earlier, when his second daughter was born. He now worked for the same security firm Zach did.
Seeing some of his former brothers-in-arms with families had helped him understand Carolyn’s perspective. Many of the guys he’d trained with had retired when they married and had kids. Others got out when injuries slowed them down. They’d prioritized their lives, while Zach had continued until chronic injuries forced him to make a change—and only then because he feared letting down his team while on an operation. The Navy would have reassigned him to a desk job or made him an instructor, but those weren’t positions that interested him.