For nearly a week, Zach had slept in her guest room. They’d shared breakfast and bedtime duty like any parents would. Neither she nor Zach had had the traditional family with a caring mom and dad in the household. She’d had her mom; never once had she doubted her mother’s love for her. But she still carried around a hole in her heart where her father’s affection should have been. For Zach it was worse: no one had cared for him or his brothers until the Admiral took them in as young teens. Carolyn and Zach’s experiences left them figuring out this co-parenting thing together, but she could feel a tight little family forming…and she liked it.
She liked the sexy, appealing man in her house, too. She’d dated no one since she broke off the engagement. She’d told herself she was too busy, with a young child and a business to run, but maybe that wasn’t the whole truth. Zach still had a claim on her, preventing her from getting over him. She could admit that, finally, which is why it had hurt so much all those months when she’d thought he was ignoring her messages and abandoning her. If she had listened to her heart, she would have known he was the last man to abandon a child or shirk his responsibilities.
She scooped Austin off the floor. “Let’s make Daddy some cookies.”
“Cookum,” her son shouted and clapped his hands.
In the kitchen, she gave him a bowl and spatula so he could pretend to mix dough as she measured ingredients for ginger cookies, a favorite of Zach’s. It was good to have history with a man. She knew what he liked and disliked. Ginger cookies were special to him, something he had shared with the Admiral.
After she flipped on the mixer, she added a little flour to Austin’s bowl. She’d end up having to sweep the floor, but she didn’t care when he was so happy to be “helping.”
“Dada?” he asked again, making her glance at the clock. Almost six.
“Soon,” she promised, giving him a kiss.
She formed the dough into balls and placed them on a cookie sheet. With the first batch in the oven and Austin still content, she took a minute to check her email messages. She was waiting to hear back from the computer forensics expert. Steve had uncovered a few things but was still at it. She wanted him to find something definite—and soon. So much was at stake for her.
Her determination to protect her business gave her a bit of insight into Zach’s undying commitment to being a SEAL. She was trying to guard her family and employees against attack and would do darn near anything to accomplish her goal. Was that how Zach felt about his military career? His duty there was so much greater. He’d wanted to defend his country, every citizen, feeling it was his responsibility.
And she’d tried to take that away with her ultimatum. She’d been selfish, she recognized with shame, since she hadn’t wanted to share him. Her own insecurities had driven her words to him. She’d been frightened of being abandoned again by a man, so she’d made Zach make a choice when he only wanted to do what was just in his eyes. It was time for her to think differently, to look forward to what could be with him and not give in to her fears.
She glanced at Austin when she heard the garage door open, happy that the toddler hadn’t noticed since Zach wouldn’t come in right away. He’d do a sweep of the property first, as he did several times a day, because he was hardwired to protect. And to love. She’d seen that so much since his return, even if he didn’t say the words.
The second batch of cookies was in the oven before Zach quietly opened the kitchen door and stepped inside.
“Hi,” she said, going to him, knowing that he would kiss her as he’d done other evenings. It was the domestic life she’d wanted with him and thought she would never get.
“Smells good in here.” His arm was around her waist, holding her to him.
“I made cookies. Austin helped.” They turned in time to see their son toss a handful of flour in the air and laugh as the powder filtered down onto his dark hair.
“Uh-oh,” the boy squealed, delighted with the mess he’d made.
“Uh-oh is right,” she said with a smile.
“I’ll clean it up,” Zach volunteered as he headed for Austin and gathered the boy in his arms, dusting him off.
“No, take him and play,” she insisted. “He’s been asking for you for an hour. I’ll sweep it up and make dinner.”
While she cooked, she could hear them playing in the living room. Zach was a natural father. He’d looked to her for direction at first, but he seemed to instinctively know what Austin wanted and needed. She was lucky, lucky to have both of them. She was on the verge of telling Zach that, but she was still afraid of the words. Maybe she could show it instead.
“Let’s watch a movie tonight,” Carolyn suggested when they finished eating dinner. “It looks like rain outside, and I could do with a good laugh.”
“What’d you have in mind?” Zach asked.
“Classic slapstick, I think.” She knew it was Zach’s favorite. He and the Admiral had been fans of the old-style comedy movies and watched them together. From what he’d told her, those were some of the happiest memories of his youth.
“Always my first choice in film.” He grinned at her as he took Austin out of his high chair, making her heart flutter. She felt as she had when they were first in love, but there was something more between them. Maybe it was the knowledge of each other. Maybe it was because they shared a child now.
“I know.” She smiled at him as she rose and stacked their dishes. “You pick. The DVDs are in the cabinet under the television.”
“You watch slapstick still?” he asked, looking happily surprised.
“You got me hooked,” she said with a shrug, “and Austin likes them.”
In the kitchen, she loaded the dishwasher and put together a tray of cookies and milk for a movie-time snack. Her boys were already on the couch with the television on and a DVD loaded when she carried the tray into the living room. She placed it on the coffee table and caught Zach’s eye. He dropped his gaze to the cookies, then looked back at her. His face softened as she’d rarely seen it do, and he gave her a tender look, but he said nothing.
When they were engaged, she might have been upset by his silence, but she understood him better now. He was used to concealing his emotions, keeping them inside, and didn’t always know how to express his feelings. She knew he appreciated the movie and the cookies because they reminded him of good times with the Admiral, and it seemed right that he would share them with his son. She could almost read his thoughts, and that made her feel warm and bubbly inside.
Once during the movie, Austin jumped off the couch to imitate the antics of the actors, making Zach laugh. Grabbing his daddy’s hand, Austin pulled him up so they could pretend to fall down together. Carolyn stayed where she was, watching her guys. Her guys. She liked the sound of that in her head.
By the end of the movie, Austin was nodding off Zach’s arms. He no longer asked to put their son to bed. It was a task he’d taken over, freeing her to clean up the house or check her email. That night, she wanted to bring down some old business files she’d stored in the attic while the store was being refurbished. She was slowly working her way through the papers, determining which documents to shred and which should be scanned for preservation.