Unable to take the hurt flickering in her eyes, I hopped the rail, and even though it felt like I was running away, I didn’t turn back.
I walked until I found a lone bench surrounded by tall hedges and a thousand fucking rose bushes. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there with my head hanging between my shoulders before I heard a voice.
“You sure as shit know how to make an exit,” Vaughn drawled.
Lifting my head and seeing how close he stood, I realized he’d snuck up on me. A thick cloud of smoke flowed through my nostrils when I sighed. All I’d wanted was some time alone, but with friends like mine, that was too much to fucking ask. Usually, I was the one doing the meddling. Now I understood just how fucking annoying that must be.
“Are you seriously over here pouting, man?”
“It’s called brooding,” I argued. “You wouldn’t know anything about that. You’re not hot enough.”
“That’s not what your mother said last night.” The moment he popped a squat next to me, I pressed the lit end of my cigarette into the back of his hand. “Fuck!” He yelped like a little bitch. After inspecting the burn mark on his hand he glared at me. “What the fuck, dude? Recognize a joke?”
Shrugging, I flicked the butt away and immediately reached for another. “Wrong mom to joke about, bro.”
“Jesus, you’re such a fucking mama’s boy.” I didn’t respond, so he watched me light up with a frown before saying, “I thought you quit?”
Wordlessly, I unbuttoned my dress shirt enough to rip the damn patch I wore from my chest. I felt like an idiot for even trying. I couldn’t quit smoking any more than I could quit her.
Fuck it.
“What the hell is going on with you?” Vaughn prodded.
“Why do you care?”
Frankly, I found his nagging ironic since his problems were ten times more fucked up than mine. I guess the quarterback enjoyed throwing stones too.
“I don’t fucking know… maybe because I’m your best fucking friend? Is that a good enough reason for you, asshole?”
“A friend would have told me when my cousin started fucking my girlfriend behind my back.”
If he was surprised by my statement, it didn’t show. It’s been five years, but it still felt like it happened five damn days ago. “And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you, bro. That was family shit, so I stayed out of it. Besides, I seriously doubt they ever fucked.”
“Just as I expected… copping out like a pussy.”
“Okay. What would you have done?”
“Pray you never have to find out.” This pain was one I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy. Ironically, she happened to be the girl who caused it all.
“You have to shake this funk, man. You came back, and you’ve been given a second chance, but instead of making things right with Bee, you’re sulking in some fucking bushes. Yet I’m the pussy?”
“I didn’t come back for her.”
“But she’s the reason you stayed.”
“I’m not sure I had much choice in that, either. Where the hell would I have gone?”
“That’s kind of my point. Up until yesterday, the girl you’ve been in love with since you were twelve was ready to marry someone else, and I bet it never once crossed your mind to leave Blackwood Keep.”
No, it hadn’t.
Like a chump, I knew I’d rather be in pain every day watching her belong to someone else than never seeing her again. And wasn’t that just fucking backward as hell?
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Well, Bee had wrecked me a thousand times over, and I was still weak as hell for that girl.
My summer love, my ice queen.
She fucking ruined me. It was only fair that I return the favor, so why haven’t I?
Bee rounded the corner at that very moment, making me eat those fucking words. She hadn’t spotted me yet, so I took advantage, drinking in the sight of her in that red gown with her strawberry locks piled high. I wanted to pull free every single pin just so I could wrap her hair around my fist and kiss her senseless. And maybe, quite literally, take her breath away too.
Feeling my gaze, she turned, and for several long, agonizing seconds, neither of us moved or spoke a word.
Vaughn cleared his throat, breaking the trance as he stood to his feet. “I guess that’s my cue. If you two start fucking, I don’t want to be caught in the middle. Or do I?” he joked with a waggle of his eyebrows.
I glared at his back as he paused to kiss Bee on her forehead before walking away. Whenever I did finally get Bee in my bed, I sure as hell wouldn’t be sharing her with anyone else. The second we were alone, our gazes returned to one another.
“Come here.”
Bee didn’t hesitate and glided toward me until she was standing between my legs. Bringing her down on my lap, I kissed her lips, making her sigh. “I’m sorry for walking away from you.”
Perking a brow, she pursed her lips, and I was tempted to kiss them again.
“Then why did you?”
“Because I’m a needy motherfucker,” I answered truthfully. “And what I need is you.”
Her lips parted, and I waited for her to tell me that I could have her. Once she said the words, I knew I’d let go of the past. I’d stop pining for how things were and start looking to the future and believing in what could be. All she had to do was say the words.
Say the fucking words, baby.
I didn’t realize I was frowning until her finger traced the lines on my forehead. I felt my expression soften as she began toying with the barbell piercing my brow. “I…” I held my breath while she struggled for words and tried not to look so eager. A second later, her shoulders slumped. “I had a good time tonight. Thank you.”
If I’d been standing, I wasn’t sure I would still be. Disappointment coursed through me, making my world spin, so when her eyes closed, so did mine. I didn’t realize we’d leaned into one another until our foreheads touched.
“You were never going to prom with him. It was always going to be me.”
“I’m glad… even if I don’t deserve you.”
I held her tighter, wanting to protect her from whatever dark thoughts plagued her. “Deserve me? You’re the lyrics to my song, Bette. I don’t exist without you.”
She shook her head, refusing to accept my claim. “You were right about me, James. I break hearts. I broke you.” My eyes flew open at the same time hers did. The growl I didn’t expect to release startled her, but there was nothing I could do to wrangle my emotions back in.
Then piece me back together, dammit.
“I survived,” I said instead and softened the blow by quirking my lips. She didn’t smile back, and I felt like shit when a tear fell.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
My jaw clenched as something inside of me reached out for her. I promptly shoved it back down as I set her on her feet and stood. Maybe I wasn’t as ready to forgive her as I thought.
Not yet.
Shit… maybe never.
Slowly, I ran my finger over the top of her breasts. Her soft skin turned red under my touch. “You looked beautiful tonight.” I couldn’t believe it took me until the night was damn near over to tell her. “But then you always do.”