Emil’s heart stopped. “Jinx!” he yelled and charged down the hill.
Chapter 18 - Emil
The wooden house was a fireball. By the time Emil and Adam reached the fence, the fact that there was no chance at all to salvage anything was as clear as the dying day. The wide open door was alight as if it had been covered with gasoline, revealing the inferno inside. The walls were still up, but flames had licked their way to the roof, transforming it into a death trap about to collapse.
Emil could barely breathe as he took in the scale of destruction, the home he’d spent all his life in turned into a pyre of memories. Worse yet, the heat licking his face took him back to the most tragic event of his life, the night he’d set fire to his parents’ home.
The smell of smoke mixed with that of burning wood. The thatch shriveled like the hair had on the figurine he’d thrown into the stove, but thoughts of curses and Chort’s revenge had to stay at the back of his mind, because Jinx was priority.
“Stay back!” he yelled to Adam, afraid that in a frenzy, he’d approach the fire, but Emil didn’t even get to attempt opening the burning barn when Jinx burst out through the front door followed by flames that reached for the stallion as if they wanted to pull him back in.
The horse ran at full speed, muscles twitching under his shiny black coat as he fled the blaze, but instead of rushing into the safety of the fields, he dug his hoofs into the ground and gave an unnatural screech, stopping between Emil and the house. As if to make his intention clear, Jinx stomped his hoof right in front of Emil, shaking his black mane like a creature possessed.
Emil’s thoughts were like the smoke floating into the darkening sky, but just as the sun disappeared between the twin hills, leaving behind a shadow of its intense color, the roof gave in and fell into the house with a deafening crash. It could have as well been a chamber in Emil’s heart collapsing, because the pain the sight caused him made him howl.
“Emil,” Adam said in a tight voice. He held two surviving chickens, each under one arm, but there was no joy to his expression.
Emil darted to the side, wanting to enter the barn and get Leia, but Jinx was quicker and got in his way again, going as far as to nudge Emil hard with his head.
“Move out of the way!” Emil yelled in desperation, but the sinking feeling in his chest hurt like a punch and took him to the verge of falling. This couldn’t be happening.
Emil looked back at Adam, but everything turned blurry as his eyes welled up. “The infusions…”
Adam’s face was twisted in anguish, but he let go of the chickens and grabbed Emil’s arm with both hands. “I know, but at least Jinx is okay.”
A car stopped behind them, and Emil’s neighbor from across the large field got out, crossing himself as he watched the destruction. “My wife called the fire brigade but—”
He didn’t finish, but it was clear what he wanted to say. Emil would lose everything.
Everything.
“You were insured, right?” Adam asked in the softest whisper.
Tears spilled down Emil’s cheeks and he had no energy left to stand so he hugged Jinx’s neck for support. “I couldn’t afford it,” he whimpered, adding shame to the fire of his agony.
Was this nightmare really his life or had he entered hell on earth? Everything he owned was going up in flames along with his hopes and dreams for the future.
The labor of the past three months had been for nothing.
His memories of the night his parents died were vague, but what he did remember hit him like a truck. The air had smelled the same, and as his grandfather had pulled him away from the flames, all he could see were shadows in the windows upstairs. He didn’t know whether those were of his mom and dad trying to find a way out, or their souls locked in the fire of Emil’s guilt.
The distant sound of the fire engine was like yet another memory. And just like back then, the voluntary brigade couldn’t make it on time.
The smoke was already eating into his lungs when he turned to Adam. “I should have known nothing good can ever happen to me,” his words were barely a rasp. The heat beckoned him closer, told him he could end his misery, even if not without pain, but Jinx once again stood in his way, as if he knew all of Emil’s thoughts.
Adam’s hands trailed down his arm and held his in a grip that could break fingers if it became any harder, but Emil’s head was already clouding, as if his body couldn’t cope with the loss.
He spoke to Adam, because no one else would understand his despair. “I’ve worked so hard—” he swallowed a sob.
In the light of the fire, Adam’s eyes appeared somehow darker, but he leaned in and pulled Emil into a tight hug that expressed all his support, even if it couldn’t help Emil. “It’s not your fault. I’m here.”
Emil glanced toward the house when another terrible crash resounded through the air. The firefighters yelled something to each other as they spilled out of the fire engine, but he couldn’t hear through the pounding of blood in his ears.
He squeezed Adam in his arms, but as he watched the roof of the barn collapse, so did he. Overwhelmed, shattered into a million pieces, his knees gave in, and he landed on all fours, choking on air so full of fumes it made him cough.
The house was a pyre to send off Emil’s past, but when he looked into the flames, the smoke parted, revealing shadows on the edge of the woods. Emil’s breath caught, and when he blinked away tears, the murky silhouettes took on the form of deer. A wolf. A bear. But as Emil stared at the animals witnessing the destruction of his life with their burning eyes, the wind changed and blew smoke over the scene, leaving him uncertain whether he’d seen them at all.
***
Emil opened his eyes to stare at a flower-patterned lampshade. Its glow was dusky and cast a spider-shaped shadow on the ceiling above. The air smelled of green tea and sugar, but he didn’t realize where he was until Father Marek leaned over him with a frown. “You’re awake at last.”
He wished he wasn’t. He wished it all could have been a bad dream, but reality always caught up with him in the end, and he had no energy to fight it anymore.
“Am I at the parsonage?” he whispered, looking around for Adam.
His whole body was an icicle. If he was lucky, he could still take Mrs. Golonko up on her offer and slog his guts out at a job he despised while Adam drifted away from his life forever. He would call at first, but they would contact one another less and less until the thread of connection that now felt like a lifeline finally broke.
He’d be gone from Emil’s life, like everyone else.
“Is he awake?” Adam stormed into the room, dressed in a cassock. His forehead was wrinkled with worry, and he put down a glass of water, nudging it across the side table. For a moment, it seemed he was about to lean in and sit on Emil’s bed, but he must have remembered about the pastor’s presence and walked across the small room to rest on the other bed.
Father Marek exhaled and finished his tea. “I’m sorry about your home, but at least you’re alive. That’s all that counts. Earthly possessions can be replaced.”
Emil knew Father Marek had the best intentions, but this was the last thing he wanted to hear. “Leave me the fuck alone.” He felt sick thinking about Leia, about the chickens, the infusions he and Adam worked so hard on, and all the family heirlooms lost to the fire. He’d never get any of it back.