“You too tired for me, baby?” he asks in a low voice as his arms wrap around my waist. I giggle in his arms and nestle into his hold. Before I can answer, I yawn again.
“In the morning, you’re all mine,” he says, kissing my neck and laying me down at his side. My eyes widen with anxiety. I wasn't turning him down just now.
Everything feels normal between us, like a new couple exploring each other. Most of the time, when he’s with me, I forget. Sometimes it comes back, though. Hatred and sadness. I glance down at the bandage around my wrist. Sometimes I remember the worst things, and the nightmare feels so real.
But not when I’m with Kane. He wards off all of my demons. I feel so safe with Kane, but I’m still terrified of him being upset with me. A dark voice whispers deep inside, it’s because you’re broken.
“We can--” I start to suggest, but he cuts me off.
“You’re tired, baby. You’re gonna pass out on me.” He yawns and puts one arm behind his head.
It has been a really long day. After we picked out the apartment we had to buy everything to fill it. Tomorrow’s going to be a long ass day, too. But at least the morning will be off to a good start. I cover my mouth as another yawn takes control and shows itself without my consent.
“Get some sleep, baby. Tomorrow night I gotta run out and do some things, but we’ll still celebrate and break in the new apartment together.” He rocks his dick into me and forces a small giggle from me. I’m excited to move in with him. My heart swells in my chest. It feels like a huge step forward for us. I lower my eyes and rest my head against the pillow as his arm wraps around me.
Confusion stirs in me as I start to think about us as a couple. He was my captor, and then my savior. And I’ve been nothing but a victim. At least to him. Broken, the dark voice whispers. I close my eyes and force the voice away. I’m not broken. I’m his. I can’t be broken.
Smash! The gun falls down and crashes against his skull. Smash! I hit the butt of the gun against his teeth, cracking them. They break off and the jagged edges scrape and cut the skin of my hand.
I pull my hand back and examine my wound. Small drops of blood fall from the cuts and I follow them as they land on Vadik’s broken and bloodied face.
As my eyes land on his, they open and stare back at me.
I scream out, “Help me!” Terror strikes my heart. My blood runs cold. I scream out for Kane. He’ll save me. But my voice is broken. I can’t speak his name. My hand grips my throat as I try again. Kane! I want to yell, but there’s only silence.
“He’ll never love you. You’re just playing a part. What do you think he’ll do to you when he finds out who you really are?” Vadik sneers, with a wicked smile.
I shake my head in denial. “Kane loves me,” I whisper, feeling as though the words are true.
“If he loved you, he’d tell you that. He doesn’t even know you and your sick thoughts.”
I shake my head and back away as he rises from the ground, following me. Getting closer to me. I scoot back on my ass, shoving myself against the wall. Vadik cages me in, his face just an inch from mine.
“He’d never love a whore like you. A worthless little bitch who lied to him. He wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of you. You’re nothing!” he screams at me, and pulls his hand back to strike me. My hands fly up to cover my face.
Kane’s hovering over me as a scream is torn from my throat. He has a grip on both of my wrists as they fly through the air.
“It’s okay. Ava, I’m here. It’s okay.” He keeps repeating himself as my breathing comes in frantic, desperate gasps, and my heart threatens to leave my chest. I try to steady myself, but I can’t. It was so real. It was too real.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?” His eyes search my face with worry. I can’t make him worry. I can’t lose him.
I shake my head and place a hand over my beating heart. I remember the dream. I remember Vadik’s words. I won’t let that happen. I won’t let Kane know how ruined I am.
“Just a bad dream,” I whisper. His shoulders stay tense and his mouth parts slightly. He doesn’t believe me. “Will you hold me?” I ask him. He likes it when I ask him to comfort me. And I like it, too. I need it. I feel so safe in his arms.
“Of course, baby.” He kisses my lips and pulls me closer to him. “I’ve got you, baby.”
I close my eyes, but I’m very much awake. He doesn’t have me. He hardly even knows me. And if he did, I’d be nothing to him.
Ava
“You look beautiful, baby,” Kane says, and then kisses the crook of my neck. “But I think you need a little something extra.” I turn in his arms, and stand on my tiptoes to give him a peck on the lips. He grins at me as he reaches in his back pocket.
My heart sputters in my chest. Could it possibly be a ring? No. I shove down that hope even though it’s clawing its way up my chest. These last two weeks have been a dream come true. We have a cute little apartment I’m making into a home. I just got accepted into the university. All the little things on my wishlist are getting checked off.
And it’s all because of Kane. He’s my everything, and I feel like he loves me. I feel like we’re meant to be together. The doubt I had seems to dim each day. Most of the time I think we’re perfectly happy, perfectly fit for one another. I almost feel whole with him.
But a ring?
He’d be committing his life to me. To a liar. The dark voice that’s gone quiet for so long speaks up, and depression shatters the fantasy in my head.
“These.” He opens the box to reveal a pair of drop dangle sapphire earrings. “I think they’d really bring out your eyes.” My heart slows, and my world seems to stop. They’re beautiful. He gently pries one from the box and I quickly hold out my hand, waiting with bated breath.
I put them on one at a time and then face myself in the mirror. The silver boatneck dress I’m wearing clings to my curves. It sparkles in the mirror. My skin looks radiant. I’ve certainly gained weight. My hand rests on my lower tummy. Maybe a little too much weight. I clear my throat as Kane’s eyes catch mine in the mirror.
Déjà vu hits me. I remember what I looked like that day. My eyes drift to my neck, where the collar used to be. Where Kane’s collar was that day. I look to the small jewelry box on top of the dresser. He thinks I threw it away, but I didn’t. I don’t want to. It reminds me of that day and who I really am. I feel the blood drain from my face as the day plays fast-forward before my eyes.
“Do you like them?”
“I love them.” I force out a peppy voice and try to show him my sincerest gratitude.
I feel like a fraud. I don’t know what I’ve been doing all these days playing house with Kane. That’s what it feels like now that I’m reminded who I am. It’s fake. It’s all pretend.
I close my eyes and try to will away the feelings, but instead I see a flash of his face. My eyes open quickly and I instantly catch Kane’s questioning expression in the mirror.
“Are you alright, baby?”
“Yeah.” I force a casual smile onto my face and then look back in the mirror. My fingers touch the sapphires and I watch as they sparkle in the mirror. They’re beautiful.