Johnny opens the door, and my pops' voice booms through the hall.
“Johnny!” I raise my eyes to watch, although I don’t lift my head. Pops pats him on the back and gives him a warm smile. But it’s off. He’s waiting to hear about Clara. I know he is. Something’s going on between the two of them. Not my business though. Not unless he hurts her. Then I’ll make it my business.
“Good to see you, boss.” Johnny makes eye contact and returns the smile. Ballsy. Johnny is most certainly ballsy. He’s been a friend of mine for years, and I sure as shit couldn’t do this business without him. But I don’t like that he’s sneaking around with my sister. And I sure as shit know that Pops doesn’t like it. He better give it up soon and put a ring on her finger.
“Hey Pops.” I lean back in my seat and then stand to greet him. “Didn’t know you were coming.”
We share a quick hug and I motion to the liquor, but he shakes his head.
He takes a casual seat on the sofa, and I relax in the spot next to him. He’s come here a few times, usually because we’re meeting up for a family event… or a family event. But I always know about it ahead of time.
“What’s going on, Pops?”
“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing alright.” He looks me in the eyes, and I almost look away. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees and set my chin on my clasped hands. I take a moment to answer him. I don’t know what to tell him. I’m not okay.
I settle on what I hope is the truth. “I’ll be alright.”
“That was intense, Dom. Never seen you like that.” I gaze at the floor and take a deep breath in, followed by a long exhale.
“Yeah, well.” What’s he want me to say? My memory flashes back to a few nights ago, to my fists beating the piss out of them. They were tied down when I got there. Just like they tied her down. I saved the one with the dragon tattoo for last. I wanted to make sure he knew what was coming. I wanted him to watch the rest of them die. De Luca was second to last. No one gave a fuck that I took the lead.
I needed to. I had to. For her.
“Sean went to see her the other night. Rebecca.” Hearing her name brings me back to the present.
“It’s Becca. And I know.” His brows raise in surprise, and his lips turn down.
“She called you?” he asks.
“No, I went over there. Just to tell her she was safe.” My gut churns, and my heart freezes in my chest. I wanted to go up there and talk to her, to convince her to just give it a chance. But I’d be a fucking asshole to do that to her and Jax. They deserve better. So I stayed in my car. Thinking about what a prick I am for wanting her. “I saw him walk up, and I waited.”
“Well, what’d she tell you about it?” Pops leans into me.
I shake my head. “Nothing.” I swallow the lump in my throat and lick my lips before sitting back in my seat. “I didn’t talk to her.”
“Ah.” Pops looks to the left at Johnny and then sighs. “Well,” he turns back to me, “she didn’t give away anything. So she’s cleared. I told Jack to back off.”
“What the fuck is Jack saying now?” My blood heats, and anger stirs inside of me hearing that shit. Back off? He better fucking back off.
“Nothing, Dom.” Pops puts his hand on my shoulder. “He’s just paranoid as fuck. He’s happy now.”
I search his eyes and nod. “He better be fucking happy. She may never be mine to claim, but she’s off limits.”
“I don’t understand, Dom.” He lowers his voice and looks at me with a sad expression. “Is it 'cause she’s got a kid? He’s a good little guy, and he’s-”
I rear my head back to look at him. “That’s not it. That’s not it at all.”
“I don’t get it, Dom. What the hell’s a matter with you?” It’s been a while since my father has talked to me that way.
I chew on the inside of my lip not wanting to say it, but he asked. And he’s the boss. “She’s got to protect her son. She can’t be messing around with me.”
“I didn’t say anything about messing around, Dom. I saw the way you two looked at each other. What you did for her. I know what she means to you. And you’re just going to let her go?”
“I have to. She can’t live this kind of life.” I wave my hand in the air and sit back with a heavy weight on my chest. My hand runs down my face.
“Then give it up. If you think she’s worth it.”
“Give up the familia?” I can’t believe what he’s saying.
He purses his lips and sucks in a deep breath. “That’s not what I meant. Get outta this here. Lay low. Get a boring ass day job with your degree. Do what you gotta do.”
“Do what I gotta do?” I swallow hard. I don’t like subtleties. I’d rather be smacked hard in the face with a blunt answer.
“I can’t tell you any more than that, son. I will say Sunday dinner will always be at our house with the family.”
“What’s that have to do with anything?”
“Just make sure she knows that’s a condition. The only condition.” The only condition. I stare at my Pops for a moment.
He gives me a smile and rises, fixing his suit jacket. “Your ma liked her. That’s a huge victory there.”
“I don’t think it’s as easy as you think, Pops.” I stand up and give him a quick hug with a firm grip.
“If you want her to be yours, then you take her; what’s so hard about that?” He smirks at me and then turns his back and leaves.
I watch the door close shut. If only it could really be that easy.
Becca
The dishes in the large steel sink crash together, and it draws my eyes up to the busboy. He’s new. His arms are skinny as twigs. His eyes dart to mine and then back to the dishes.
“Break any?” I ask lightheartedly to put him at ease. I try to muster up a smile, but I can’t.
“Don’t think so.” He pulls them out carefully, one by one.
At least it wasn’t at the bar. That would’ve been a pain in the ass. Like yesterday. I close my eyes and breathe in deep. I wish I still had Vicky here. She was one of the managers Dom put in charge while I was “recovering from a fall.” I roll my eyes and rub my shoulder as I walk out of the kitchen to the back room. I had to dump her though. I didn’t trust her or the others. I felt like they were always watching me. Like they were going to report back to him.
Just thinking about him has my chest tightening with pain. I haven’t heard a word. Nothing. Tears prick my eyes. I know I didn’t want it, well I didn’t want to want it. But fuck, I do want him. I shake my head and try to calm myself down. My throat seems to close up every time I think about him. It physically hurts me. I can’t explain it. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I lean against the wall of my office and lay my head against the wall. I can’t fucking breathe in here.
After a moment I push open the door to go outside. It groans, and the bright light makes my eyes squint. But at least it’s fresh air. Or as fresh as it can be for a tiny ass alley between my restaurant and the gallery next door. I prop the door open with a brick and take a seat on the crates a few feet down, closer to the empty street and away from the dumpsters.