“Good.” Jacob wasn’t really sure what else to say—it was a side of Wyatt he hadn’t seen all that often, loyal, protective, doing the right thing, standing up for someone who needed it. “I guess Wyatt did have a heart.”
“He did.” Linc nodded, returning his attention to the bolts he’d been tightening. “I know he wasn’t always easy, especially as he got older. But he was one of the best guys I knew. If he hadn’t caught me that day—who knows what could have happened. And that wasn’t the only time he stood up for me. So when I say I owe him, I mean I owe him.”
“Yeah. I get it.” And he did, even as his back ached and his hands tightened on the metal pole he was holding. He got it. He couldn’t argue with that kind of bond, the deep loyalty that Linc had, even in death, to his best friend. He was still just some pesky kid compared to that. Sure Linc liked banging him, but he wasn’t ever going to inspire that kind of commitment from him, wasn’t going to come close to replacing Wyatt in his heart.
“I’m glad he was there,” he said as they moved on to the next task, attaching the monkey bars to the main structure. And he was glad, glad that Linc hadn’t been alone back then, glad that he was alive now. Any other feelings he had like the bitter disappointment of knowing he’d never measure up to the legacy of Wyatt, well, that was his burden to bear, not Linc’s.
Another question prodded at him, one he’d had for years. “If he had your back so much, shouldn’t he have been more supportive when you came out to him?”
Linc snorted, pausing to shake his head. “There was no coming out. He caught me kissing the visiting team’s running back behind the school senior year. And he was pissed.”
“I can imagine. Not sure where he got his toxic views from, but he sure did like to run his mouth.”
“That he did. Some of it was his crowd. Coaches we’d had in sports. Hell, even comedy he liked. I’d thought maybe us talking would change...but no.” Linc looked so worn down that Jacob could easily picture his younger self, desperate for his best friend’s approval. “Anyway, we had ourselves an awkward few years. We’d always planned on smoke jumping together, but it was...tense. I got on with a crew in Idaho first then I bounced around the West. Stayed gone a lot, thinking it might help. And I guess it mellowed him some. He’d worked his way up fighting fires here locally, and when we ended up on the same crew at last, it felt...right.”
“Except for the part where he was still a dick about your sexuality. If I caught him in a couple of stupid wisecracks, I can imagine there were a lot more when you were alone.”
“Some.” Linc’s expression became tight and pinched. “We didn’t really talk about it much, but it was always there some, a tension that hadn’t been there before. But for whatever reason, he kept it between us. Didn’t let it keep him from asking me to stand up at his wedding. I don’t pretend to understand how his brain worked, but you painting him as all...toxic isn’t the Wyatt I knew.”
“I get that.” And he did. He wasn’t ever going to know the Wyatt that Linc had cared so deeply about, wasn’t ever going to be able to make sense of all of Wyatt’s contradictions. The bully and the mean drunk. The best friend and the lifesaver. He’d known one a little too well and the other not at all. And that made his jaw clench, made his shoulders tense with a loss he’d never really considered that much, the loss of a guy he’d never get to know, the loss of a future where Wyatt might have redeemed himself, been the brother Jacob had needed and the friend Linc had deserved.
Nodding, Linc resumed the work, sliding into more of the thoughtful silence that Jacob liked almost as much as their deeper conversations. He liked that they could tackle heavy shit as well as just hang out, no obligation to make small talk. Working together, building something real and tangible together, was immensely satisfying, as was the way Linc respected his interpretation of the directions and asked his opinion about equipment placement. Similar to at work, feeling like Linc finally saw him as an adult equal made his shoulders lift and step lighten, a deep contentment settling over him.
“How much more do you think we’ve got to do here?” he asked after a while.
“You sound like Junior.” Linc teased, easiness between them fully restored, at least for now. “Honestly, we might have to finish up tomorrow morning if we run out of daylight tonight.”
“That’s okay. And I can do it if you’ve got other things to do.”
“Nah. I’ll be here.” Linc shrugged.
“Don’t worry, the next time I want to spend the weekend with you, I’ll figure out something with fewer screws.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Screws aren’t all bad.” Linc raised an eyebrow and all of a sudden Jacob was right back in his bed the night before, panting and begging, the good kind of sweaty and desperate.
“I think I left my hoodie at your place last night. Could I stop by after we finish up here?” They were alone, and there was no reason why he couldn’t just come out and ask to hook up that night, but using the excuse gave them both an out, didn’t require him to look quite so needy.
“Suppose you could.” Linc’s eyes flashed hot and dark, full of promise for another late night. Good. Maybe he’d never be Wyatt, but he could at least be something to Linc, something he wanted and craved, even temporarily. And maybe that would be enough. It would have to be.
He was about to continue their little flirt when the sound of footsteps gave him pause.
“Food break!” Jacob’s mom called from the patio, and they dutifully set their tools aside and headed in. She and May had set out more water, brownies and fixings for sandwiches.
As they finished eating, the baby started fussing in her playpen, and Linc scooped her up before May could. Taking her back to the table, Linc bounced and patted the baby while Junior peppered him with more questions about the construction process. Jacob went ahead and cleared the table for his mom, taking the dirty dishes to the sink, where she was already washing up.
“Now, that’s nice to see,” Mom said in a low voice, eyes darting back to the dining area. “He’s so good with them.”
Hell. Not her too. Jacob stifled a groan. “Don’t go getting ideas.”
“Who me?” Her expression was too carefully innocent to be believed. “I’m just pointing out the obvious.”
God, what a mess. He desperately wanted to tell his mom that any matchmaking was likely to be futile, but it wasn’t his place to out Linc or even insinuate. And it wasn’t like he had a hold on Linc himself. That much was painfully clear.
“Way too soon,” he said instead, trying to force his jaw to loosen up.
“Yeah.” His mother’s shoulders deflated. “You’re right.”