“Damn good. Not sure, but man...damn.”
“Exactly.” Jacob’s head fit perfect against Linc’s shoulder, all those words he wouldn’t say right fucking there. The night air was cool, but their bodies were still warm, muscles well-used. The stars twinkled, framing this moment like a million glittery flashbulbs, but no matter how crystal clear the memory was, Linc knew his brain would never do this justice. Nothing was ever going to be as good as this. And it wasn’t simply his well-fucked body. It was everything churning inside him, the surety that whatever else came into life, nothing was ever going to equal Jacob and this moment right here.
* * *
“No joke, this really is my favorite birthday ever,” Jacob said as he leaned against Linc. Still in the back of the truck, they’d pulled back on some of their clothes and snuggled into the blankets to enjoy the birthday cake Linc had brought. Jacob’s insides felt bright and glittery, like the stars that seemed almost close enough to grab.
“Grocery store cake that good? Or is that a compliment for my ass?” Linc laughed, the deep chuckle of a content guy, and Jacob was never getting tired of inspiring that reaction.
“Both.” Fucking him had been a revelation, a chance to give Linc a little of the attention and affection he always bestowed on Jacob. And as much as he’d started out focused on what he could give Linc, he’d ended up being blindsided yet again, feeling so much more than simple release. “But...uh... I’m down with next time being our usual too.”
Much as he’d enjoyed fucking Linc, that different sort of connection and closeness, the sexiness of watching Linc let go, he’d also had an urge to switch places. In the past, he’d always loved topping, showing off his ability to make the other person feel good, but there was something about being with Linc that made him lust for Linc’s power and domination. He’d loved every bit of the sex, but damn if his body wasn’t already counting down to the next time. He wasn’t quite as relaxed as Linc either, a certain thrum of restlessness that said anything this good couldn’t last. And a drive to prove that voice wrong, squeeze in a second round before they were forced to leave this place and this magical night.
“We have a usual?” Linc teased. God, Jacob utterly loved him like this, all light and warmth, warmer even than the quilts and sweeter than the chocolate cake. “Remind me to change it up more often. Can’t have you getting bored.”
“I’m not.” He tried to keep his tone as casual as Linc but wasn’t entirely sure he managed. Because they did have a usual, a past now, a pattern of encounters, little things he was going to miss so damn much when this was done. And even memorizing this moment—taste of the waxy chocolate icing, crisp scent of Linc’s fabric softener on the quilts, soft night sounds—wasn’t going to be enough. He wanted more, wanted every damn thing Linc had to give and then some.
“Summer’s going fast,” Linc mused, almost like he could sense the direction of Jacob’s thoughts.
“Says you. It’s not even the twenty-first yet—not even technically summer.” The cake turned to clay in his mouth. Slow down, time. Slow down. He needed this to last, needed all of this so damn bad. But maybe... Taking a deep breath, he gave voice to the thought that had plagued him for weeks now. “And it doesn’t have to end.”
“What do you mean?” Linc’s tone was cautious, but not outright dismissive, which Jacob would take as a win.
“You don’t have to leave. Don’t have to find something new. You could just stay. Nothing has to change.”
“Jacob...” Linc groaned, and his shoulder moved against Jacob, undoubtedly from a vigorous head shaking. “Things always change. They just do.”
“But they don’t have to.” Jacob was prepared to be stubborn about this. “Come on, Linc. Your house will miss you. You don’t really want the hassle of packing everything up, moving, just to outrun...what? This? Some memories? The dogs love it here. You don’t have to start over away from here all by yourself.”
It was as close as he could get to saying that he would miss Linc desperately, that he loved him here in town and on the job both, that he needed him, and that they could start over together if that was what Linc truly needed.
“Fuck.” All the lightness left Linc as he scooted away. But Jacob wasn’t letting him get too far. Not yet. Instead, he pinned Linc to the side of the truck, straddling his thighs.
“I miss Wyatt too. Every day. But you leaving town...it’s not going to cure a damn thing.”
“Maybe not.” Linc sounded defeated. He also didn’t move to remove Jacob, instead resting a hand lightly on Jacob’s hip.
“Then why do it?” Emboldened, Jacob placed a hand on Linc’s shoulder. “Stay. Do you really want to leave?”
“It’s not just about Wyatt. Not now. We can’t keep going indefinitely.” Linc ignored the meat of Jacob’s question, exactly as Jacob had expected him to. But even expecting it, Jacob’s muscles still slumped, disappointment weighing him down, a heavy pack without the promise of a parachute ride down.
“Says who? I’m not suggesting we march into brunch at my mom’s on Sunday holding hands or anything. I’m just saying there’s no need to hang up a good thing, not when we’re both enjoying ourselves.”
“Guess the whole burn-itself-out plan was fucked from the start.” Linc’s laugh was a bitter thing, knocking over Jacob’s stockpile of private hopes.
“Yeah. But I’m not regretting a damn thing.”
“Not saying you should.” Linc’s hand tightened on Jacob’s skin. “And I don’t either.”
Hope flared anew. “Then why stop? Why put an expiration date on something so good?”
Linc groaned like he had another round of objections in him, but Jacob cut him off with a swift kiss, trying to reinforce that this truly was the best thing he’d ever found and that he wasn’t giving it up without a fight.
“Damn it. Can’t think straight when you kiss me like that.” Linc rested his forehead against Jacob’s.
“Then don’t think right now. I’m not asking for a decision or a commitment or anything like that.” Jacob was proud of how level he kept his voice. No way was he throwing everything they had away by being too demanding when Linc was hell-bent on being stubborn. “We’ve got the rest of the summer here. All I’m saying is consider staying as an option.”
“Maybe this isn’t fair to you.” Linc ghosted his lips along Jacob’s neck. “You deserve—”
“You. I deserve you.” Jacob actually wasn’t sure he was worthy of Linc, but he’d go to the mat for the chance to try to prove himself.