“Yeah, we asked.” Garrick rolled his eyes like this was no big deal. “And don’t get me wrong, you’re not bad for a rookie—you’ve got the stamina of five veterans, but you’ve got to get over this stubborn streak. You almost fell because you weren’t listening to Linc to go cautious. If you’re not going to listen, then yeah, we’re gonna take over. Turning into the Dark Knight solo act might have worked back on the ground crew, but we’re—”
“A team. Exactly. We’re a team. I’m not trying to go it alone, but you’re not using me. You’re coddling me. All for what? Some obligation to Wyatt? Feeling like I can’t hack it?”
“That’s not—” Linc started to talk but was cut off by the arrival of the trucks that would take them back to the fire command.
Damn it. Jacob was still angry as he climbed in the truck, not caring which one of them rode next to him. Fuck them. He was pissed that Linc had all but lied to him about how he landed on their crew. Pissed that Garrick was acting like some entitled big brother. Pissed at himself for almost screwing up.
Linc ended up the one next to him, but Jacob let him stew in silence. He didn’t need to let the firefighters driving the trucks in on their business, and he wasn’t sure he trusted himself to not bring the personal into it, not with how mad he was.
“We going up again?” Evidently in no hurry to finish their argument either, Linc headed right for Sims at the fire command, helping to coordinate all the various efforts.
“Nope. Fire’s looking fairly contained for now. Ground crews holding the line. Good work.” Sims nodded at all of them. “We’re sending you back to catch a shower and some sleep. If we need you to go again, it’ll be tomorrow, but we’re optimistic that the worst is behind us.”
Cue another tense ride, this one back to Painter’s Ridge with other smoke-jumper crews that had completed their jumps. He took advantage of the chaos to catch a ride in one of the other trucks with Kelley, listening to her recount a thrilling jump and close call with a chainsaw. But he made damn sure to catch up with Linc in the base parking lot.
“So much for you not asking for me to be on your crew, huh?” He’d waited until others were out of earshot, but his anger had run out of patience. They were having this out.
“I said I didn’t ask. Wasn’t a lie.” Eyes hard, Linc kept his voice even. “What Garrick or Ray did...that’s their business.”
“But you didn’t tell them no. And you seem to have had some sort of... I don’t know...pact to keep me safe. Which means not letting me do my fucking job.”
“I told your mom—”
“I knew it. Fuck it, Linc. Why are your promises to everyone else more important than me?”
“It’s not like that.” Linc’s eyes shifted, more pained than angry now, not that Jacob gave a fuck right then about his pain. “I owe—”
“Me. How about you owe me?”
“You? What promises have I made you?” Linc’s whole face pinched like he was thinking extra hard. But apparently not hard enough.
“If I have to tell you... Forget it.” Jacob threw up his hands. “But maybe you could start with basic respect. The same respect you’d give anyone else on the crew. You wouldn’t be rushing to do their work for them. Wouldn’t be freaking out with each jump either. Why am I different?”
With his eyes, he dared Linc to tell him he cared. That Jacob was different because of who they were to each other and not any stupid promises he’d made other people.
But Linc merely shook his head. “Told you. I owe—”
“Fuck what you owe, Linc. I’m done with being Wyatt’s little brother. So fucking done.”
“Hold on—”
“Save it.”
“Damn it, Jacob. This isn’t the place for this talk.” Gaze darting around the nearly empty parking lot, Linc dropped his voice. “How about you come over later?”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Not tonight.” If he went to Linc’s, they’d end up fucking. And fucking meant feeling things he didn’t want, not right then. Fucking meant not fixing a damn thing. And it let Linc off the hook too damn easy. Linc had been the one throwing up walls lately. He didn’t get to play peacemaker now. He could damn well wait for Jacob to calm down.
“I suppose you’re right.” Linc nodded sharply. “Probably for the best—”
“Fucking hell, Linc. You that eager to see the last of me? I’m taking the night off. Not the whole damn summer.” Although part of him knew that would be the sane thing, just let it end here, but he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. He might be pissed but he wasn’t giving up on Linc until he was forced. But fuck it all, it looked like that point might be sooner rather than later.
“Okay. Guess I’ll see you when you cool down.” Sorry must not have been part of Linc’s vocabulary because he continued to regard Jacob warily, like he was angry for no good reason, and that just made Jacob that much more upset, back muscles tensing and head pounding.
“Yeah. You will.” With that, he strode away to his own truck before he could say something he’d truly regret. He wasn’t giving up on Linc, wasn’t giving up on them, but it wouldn’t kill Linc to fight back, to fight for them. And to maybe see Jacob as anything other than Wyatt Hartman’s annoying little brother and a fucking obligation. Damn it all. Jacob might as well wish to lasso the moon than to think he could change Linc.
Chapter Seventeen
Linc wasn’t going to stop caring about Jacob. He couldn’t. And caring about Jacob meant caring about the promises he’d made others. Simple as that. And yet, as Linc passed a long, sleepless, Jacob-less night, his principles were miserable bedfellows. One couldn’t exactly snuggle a moral certainty that keeping Jacob safe was more important than making Jacob happy. But damn if Linc didn’t wish he could have both. Both Jacob safe and Jacob right here, next to him, smiling the way he always did when sleepy and satisfied.
And Jacob had said it was only for tonight, not a permanent thing, but it sure felt permanent when Jacob still hadn’t answered a text Linc had sent hours ago.
You okay? You get some food? And don’t forget to hydrate after that long pack-out.
Not apologizing. Linc couldn’t do that, not when he wasn’t sorry about wanting to keep Jacob safe at all costs. But he’d tried to extend a hand anyway. Fucking lot of good it did. Ignoring their mats, the dogs were both occupying Jacob’s half of the bed, and he didn’t have the heart to kick them out. And how the hell had he gone from never going to touch Jacob to him having a side of the bed?