My trunk slams as I force it closed over the mountain of stuff my duffel bag is sitting on. I would have stuck it in my backseat but that's where my TV sits, buckled safely across the seat. I mean, priorities, right?
I lean heavily against the back of my car, looking around the property. It's peaceful for sure, but just a little too quiet for my liking. And in no way helpful in drowning out all the thoughts in my head. I'm always thinking about her, but I'm starting to feel like she’ll never come back. When she cancelled the engagement, I thought it was just cold feet. Shit, I get it. We are young, we barely know what next week is going to look like, much less the rest of our lives. But I was following my heart and I knew that no matter how the future looked, I wanted her in it.
Unfortunately, the day we ended our engagement was also the day that Kenzie almost died. That’s when Cherry became distant. I was patient, I gave her space, assuming that she was just struggling. Hell, Kenzie scared the fuck out of all of us. But it’s been months now and Cherry never snapped out of it even after Kenzie made a full recovery and was back to her usual self. The few times she’s spoken to me, Cherry says the same thing…
Life is short, so why make promises?
It’s bullshit. And I don’t get what happened to my girl. It was like one minute she was the girl I’ve loved for the last three years, and the next she was running away like our time together meant nothing. I don't want to give up but I may not have a choice.
I stare at my phone as my thoughts spin. Should I text her? Should I try calling? Am I just setting myself up for bullshit failure again? Muscle memory takes over and I punch in the short four digit code to unlock my phone. Immediately, I’m greeted with a picture we took at the park the night I proposed.
That twinkle I love so much is in her eyes as she hugs me tightly, my big smile matching hers. I kept the photo on here as a reminder of the hope I had that she'd come back to me, that our shit was real. But I'm starting to feel like an ass.
I doubt she'll answer, but it would be the first call in about two weeks, so just maybe… I press send, then grit my teeth and listen to the cadence of the ringing as I press the phone against my ear. It feels like my heart syncs with its rhythm as I pull in steady breaths, trying to keep my shit under control. At least the air is fresh out here; definitely better than the city. My shoulders slouch the second I hear her voice ring over the speaker, telling me that she’s sorry she missed my call, and to leave a message after the beep. Same shit.
I feel myself sinking yet again, the realization of just how broken things are between us causing pain to stab through my chest. Before I let myself get too deep, I shake out of my haze and take a deep breath, blowing it out harshly, then I walk back into the house to say goodbye to Jordan. He's just coming down the stairs, somehow looking exhausted but relieved at the same time.
“She was right again,” Jordan says.
“Lalia is asleep, isn't she?”
“Like a rock.” He exhales with a stretch, then walks over to the couch and sits between the soft pillows.
“Sorry I couldn't help you pack up,” Jordan says. “Did you get everything? I can help now she’s down.“
“Yeah right,” I laugh. “The way you look right now I doubt you can even carry yourself up those stairs.”
“I'm fine.” He yawns.
“How are things going at Crill?”
“Great,” he says, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “Satchi has been very understanding. It’s nice. He came off like a hard ass when he hired me but he has a soft spot after all.” Jordan ended up quitting his teacher assistant job shortly after he found out about Lalia. I remember him and Xia fighting a lot about it but he was convinced that, dream job or not, nothing was more important than his girls. So, he put his energy into finishing early.
“If the job is for me, then it will be for me,” he'd say.
Well, to all of our surprise, the job actually was for him. Jordan had zero expectation when he quit, but he explained everything. The baby, the plan for school. He just seemed so settled and confident in his choice. Satchi was apparently so caught off guard that he just stared at him for what felt like forever without speaking. Then out of nowhere he offered him a paid intern position at Crill.
“I'll start in about two weeks,” he says, his voice growing more relaxed the longer he lies there. “Della and Ben will be keeping Lalia while I work, and Zee goes to school.”
“Are they doing better?” Xia told me the situation with her parents and how she had a sister she didn’t know about—well, technically, two sisters. I can’t imagine what that must have felt like, but she seems to be dealing okay and plans to officially meet her half-sister for the first time this Christmas.
“Yeah.” Jordan yawns again before continuing. “Since Della came home from the hospital, Ben hasn't left her side. Zee said that they were in counseling, hoping to find a better way to work through the pain of their loss. She goes with them sometimes. They're working through it together.”
“Wow, that's good,” I say, running a hand over my head before looking down at my watch. “Well I'm going to head out. Seriously, thanks again for let me crash here for so long.”
Jordan opens his eyes, his head tilting forward as he looks at me. “It was nothing. You know that you're my boy, and if you get to that apartment and decide you hate that shit, you're always welcome here. You know we don't mind.”
“I know, but you guys deserve this time together alone. I'm sure it'll be fine,” I say. He stands, giving me a quick hug, and I thank him again before walking out of the house.
A few minutes later, I pull out of the garage, gazing over the serene surroundings once more before heading to the main road. The drive isn't long, and I spend most of my time in the quiet space telling myself not to think about Cherry as I head to the new apartment.
The building is in the center of town about three miles from the school, which is convenient as hell. I have morning classes, the stupid early kind, and I've never been a morning person. So, when I saw how close the apartments were to the school, I knew it would be perfect. I parallel park my car on the street and gaze up at a two-story building. This place has eight suites, four on each floor. Each one has four bedrooms with two shared bathrooms. It’s not ideal, but will be good enough.
Moving to my trunk, I grab my duffel bag and slide it over one shoulder, lifting a box from the inside of the trunk before I make my way into the building. There's not much to see, not much of a lobby at all. Just a tight entryway. I walk past a tiny mail room full of small square boxes sorted by suite number that sits across from a single elevator. Using my elbow, I press the call button and watch as it turns yellow. The sound of humming comes through the walls as the car moves down to my floor.
It's at this moment that I start to wonder about my roommates. I have no idea who they are, but I pray they are at least tolerable It will only be for the next few months anyway, and once school is over I'll probably be moving back home to Tennessee. That's if things don't work out with me and Cherry. I feel my thoughts moving back in her direction as that familiar stabbing pain returns.
Just as I'm beginning to sink, the elevator dings and the door slides open, revealing a small hall with four individual suite entrances stretching its length. I angle the box against the wall and my chest as I awkwardly pull the single key from my pocket and read the small sticker hanging from its tag.