“Yes.” His tone scraped with a raw edge it held whenever he thought of his family. “But we don’t always get what we deserve.”
We sure didn’t. “Would you really choose a woman who’d interfere in a marriage over trying to fix us and be a father?”
“What if I’m not what’s best for the baby? Maybe I’m not capable of that commitment full-time.”
What was he saying? “You were the one who suggested we start a family. Why would you do that if you weren’t happy?”
“I wasn’t unhappy, and it’s what people our age do—they start families. I got caught up in the fantasy. But Ebba’s flawed like me. We fit better. Maybe I’m simply not a good enough man to deserve someone like you, Amanda.”
“Stop blowing smoke, Lyle. We aren’t teenagers breaking up. We’re husband and wife with a baby on the way. So much will be affected by our decision. You’re letting your trust issues destroy us. Please slow down and look at what you’re doing before you ruin everything over a fling.”
For a second, I thought he might’ve hung up on me he was so quiet.
“You’re right. This is a huge decision.” He paused. “While I’m stuck here locking down investors, give me a little more time, okay?”
The mention of the deal felt like manipulation. “If this deal is so awesome, why aren’t investors jumping all over it?” I stopped myself from saying more, unaccustomed to questioning my husband’s motives, then blurted my growing fear. “Is there even a deal at all, Lyle, or is that a big lie, too?”
“Yes, there’s a deal.” Indignance—always his first reaction to being questioned about anything—replaced the syrupy tone he’d been using. “Do you need proof?”
I didn’t like the places my thoughts were sailing.
“I believe you.” My impending meeting with a PI said otherwise, but Lyle didn’t need to know that. “But proof will help my mother rest easier, and keep Kevin and Erin calm.”
“Remind everyone the first loan payment isn’t even due until the beginning of next month.” The steel in his voice gave me pause, but we were both tense. “I used the money to buy the land, so I’ll send you the deed. Will that satisfy everyone?”
“It certainly won’t hurt.” I almost apologized, but I stopped myself.
During the ensuing silence, I wondered if he’d ever known how much I’d loved him. How I would’ve done anything for him. If he’d wanted a life of adventure, I would’ve gone with him, even if I’d had reservations. All he’d ever had to do was ask. Instead, he’d turned to someone else and left me alone and devastated.
Now I faced single motherhood while he played fast and loose with fatherhood. Should I have suspected this could happen? We are, after all, a product of our genetics.
After I pressed my thumbs against my eyes, I checked the rearview mirror to see if my mascara had run, and noticed Barb coming off the school playground with Collin. Shoot.
“I guess there’s nothing more to say today.” No doubt he heard the quaver in my voice.
“I’m sorry I can’t tell you what you want to hear today, but I’m trying to be honest with everyone.”
Too little, too late.
When I said nothing, he added, “I’ll call you next week.”
“Goodbye.” I hung up, more confused and heartsick, wondering if he’d really thought himself unworthy of me—and if that were true, whether I’d done something to make him feel that way. Had I been too needy, like he’d intimated? My headache intensified. Frantic to flee the parking lot before Barb spotted my splotchy face and made me the next subject of pitiful whispers, I started the engine.
With only thirty minutes until my meeting, there was hardly time to grab something from Oak & Almond on my way home.
Heading in that direction took me past the police station—a handsome colonial-style three-story brick building. My thoughts began to stray, then Erin—whom no one could miss in that skimpy red shirt and decade-old biker boots—burst through its doors.
Erin’s head jerked up at the screech of my tires. She stared at me while I circled into the parking lot and leaped from my car, my heart pounding against my ribs. “You promised you wouldn’t say anything, yet here you are asking Rodri to dig around in Lyle’s and my business.”
She scowled. “Since when have I ever broken a promise to you?”
Strictly speaking, never that I was aware of. However, she had let me take the blame for denting Dad’s car even though she was the one who’d banged into it with the Kohl’s shopping cart. I’d covered for her because I knew our mother would’ve grounded her and made her miss out on the Fourth of July party she’d been talking about for weeks. “Then why are you here?”
Erin crossed her arms beneath her ample chest, her speckled cheeks and neck announcing her emotions. “Max stole Dad’s albums.”
“What?” I reached for her arm, imagining the unholy string of cursing that must have spewed from her lips when she discovered them missing.
It made sense that Dad had left those to Erin given their shared love of those classic tunes, but they were his most personal possessions, and he’d not given a single one to Kevin or me. He’d left me a little money, which I’d used to buy my living room furniture, so in that way I had a piece of him here with me. But it wasn’t the same thing.
“I found out last night when I went to play one. I left him a message warning to call me back or else. Well, twelve hours later, still no call, so I asked Rodri to issue an arrest warrant. Those albums are worth thousands, which makes Max a felon. If he gets caught, he could be fined big-time and go to jail.” She shook her head, the tiny diamond chip in the crease of one nostril glinting in the sun.
She acted tough, but this couldn’t be easy for her. It wasn’t the monetary value that mattered. Those records were her biggest connection to our dad, whom she’d loved more than anyone or anything in her entire life. Bad enough I’d felt replaced in my dad’s eyes, but watching those two share the kind of relationship that I’d once hoped she and I might build had rubbed salt in that wound. Based on my mom’s occasional comparisons of Erin’s attitudes to those of the infamous Patty—Dad’s first love—I think even she envied Erin’s bond with Dad.
“I’m so sorry, Erin.” Neither of us was having a good week.
“For accusing me of breaking your trust?” Erin cocked her head.
I glanced at my feet before peeking up at her. “Well, that too.”
After a brief pause, her shoulders relaxed and her eyes filled with sympathy. “Have you heard from Lyle?”
The recent call had depleted me, so I deflected rather than fill her in on the less-than-satisfying conversation I’d yet to process. “I’m meeting the investigator now.”
“Oh, that should be interesting. Want some company?”
“No, thanks.” Meeting Stan and discussing Lyle would be hard enough without my sister hovering and adding her two cents.
She wrinkled her nose. “I know you don’t want my advice, but if you want Lyle’s attention, send him a clear message. Go straight to Rodri. I guarantee that’d make him jump.”