“Don’t act like you’re doing me a favor when it’s the other way around.”
It was like talking to a wall. All this time, I hadn’t really understood how Lyle’s father could’ve let Lyle walk out of his life, but now I did. Worse, this conversation was sapping my sanity. It hit me—to my horror—that in addition to settling the legalities, I’d also secretly desired an apology. “You’re not sorry at all, are you?”
“Oh, I’m plenty sorry. Sorry I underestimated you. I’ll have lots of time to regret that one. I’m also sorry I never counted on Erin riding to your rescue so late in the game. She must’ve felt guilty for not saying anything when she caught Ebba and me together in February.”
Erin “caught” him and Ebba in February? No—that couldn’t be. She would’ve shouted that from the roofs because she disliked him so. But then why couldn’t I breathe?
I told myself this was a last-ditch attempt to drive a wedge between my sister and me, but my expression must’ve betrayed my dismay.
“Ohhh . . . she never told you about our run-in at the Kentwood Inn?” A sickening grin crept across his face. “Thinking about her kicking herself for that will be one of the few things that will make me smile.”
He wasn’t lying.
Erin actually hid my husband’s affair from me for months.
I had to leave before he hurt me again. Mustering my last bit of backbone, I said, “My brother sent your lawyer all the documents related to my requests. You might want to hear his advice before refusing to cooperate.” I almost hung up, but this would be my final chance to speak my truth. “I gave you every corner of my heart, and even after you smashed it apart, I’ve appealed to the man you could become, hoping we’d both get some closure. I thought if you apologized . . . I don’t know. It’s clear that, whatever I thought, it was stupid. You duped me for years, but my blinders are off. Your ugly jabs make leaving you here easier on me, so thank you for that much. Good luck to you, Lyle.” I hung up the phone, pushed myself out of my chair, and turned my back on my husband and my old life.
The weight I’d been carrying around all month lifted. I might’ve floated to my car if not for the fact that my new relationship with my sister was as much of a lie as my marriage.
CHAPTER TWENTY
ERIN
“I can’t believe you kept this from me all month. Man, it would’ve been something to see you play cop for a day.” Rodri sucked down his espresso and tossed a few bucks at me. “I’m glad Amanda involved the authorities. Nothing’s worse than when people get themselves in a jam trying to exact revenge.”
“Amanda was never motivated by revenge. More like a desire to avoid scandal.”
“Also common.”
A wry smile seized my face. “What’s it say about me that I sort of enjoy being the center of a scandal?”
“What’s it say about me that I enjoy when you are?” Rodri reached over to tousle my hair. “Hate to duck out, but I’ve got to run. Don’t pull what little hair you’ve got left out while waiting for your sister to get back from Baltimore.”
“Ha ha.” I kicked lightly at his leg.
“Give Amanda my best and keep me updated. I’ll catch up with you later this week.” He waved before taking his cup and saucer to Hannah and exiting the shop.
I remained seated at the same table where Eli had dumped me a week ago, reflecting on how my life had changed recently. From the little things like where I laid my head each night, to the big things like finally having a relationship with my mom and sister that didn’t irritate me.
How different life could’ve been if the trust we’d built lately had existed years or even months ago. I wished it had, not only for our sakes but so that my dad might’ve been part of it, too. He would’ve loved my getting along better with Mom and Amanda.
The brunch on Saturday would be hard, especially if Mom didn’t come back. I still missed Dad—thought of him by my first cup of coffee every morning. Knowing he would never experience this version of our family made my heart pinch with regret. Lesson learned too late, but I’d never hold anything back going forward. If my dad were living, that vow would earn at least one trip to Dream Cream, maybe more.
That thought prompted another gentle ache—Eli. My knee-jerk reaction to his concerns told me I still had a ways to go on my path to maturity—at least when it came to communication. I couldn’t decide if letting go had been respectful of his feelings, or if I’d simply given up. Nothing bugged me more than indecision, which made me grouchy now.
Hannah cleaned the spills and sugar dust that the couple who’d been sitting at a nearby table had left behind. “Erin, you’re on a streak. Last week you had one hottie here, this week another. Funny, though, I don’t picture you with a cop.”
“Rodri is an old friend, nothing more.” I flashed a half-hearted smile.
“And the other one?”
“Also a friend, although there was a spark of something there . . .”
“Past tense?”
I screwed up my face while picking at the almond slivers on my pastry. “It’s complicated.”
The dishrag dangled from the hand Hannah planted on her hip. “You and I both know ‘it’s complicated’ is a lie people tell themselves when what they mean is that they’re not ready to face their own fears.” She swiped her index finger my way. “Not for nothing, but it’s easy to be bold about your hair and your job and all that, but none of that means a thing if you can’t be bold with your heart. So you go on and uncomplicate that situation if that’s what you really want.”
It sounded so much like something my dad might say that tears wet my eyes. “This is why I love it here, Hannah. Where else could I find a pastry-making shrink?”
Hannah chuckled and went back to the register.
For years, I had thought myself bold and my sister fearful. In truth, Amanda had put herself out there—in love, in her career, in all ways that I never had. Even today, she was facing down Lyle in prison while I sat on my butt, drinking chai. Seems I’d had it backward all along.
Maybe it was time to take my own advice. I drew a breath and called Eli.
“Hello, Erin.” Hearing his voice made my heart hum.
“Hey, Eli. I’m sitting at our table at Sugar Momma’s and thought I’d let you know I’m home safe, and I succeeded.” I bit down on my lip, not knowing what else to say.
“I read the news. Congrats. I’m glad for your family, and that you’re safe.” After a brief pause, he said, “Actually, I was planning on calling you. Do you have time to stop by?”
My knee bounced wildly, and I bit my lip so hard as I smiled it hurt. I checked the time because I wanted to be home when Amanda arrived. “Only a little.”
“I’ll take what I can get. See you soon.”
My hopes soared because he wouldn’t ask to see me if he hadn’t changed his mind, would he?
On my way out of the shop, I waved to Hannah. “Wish me luck!”
“You make your own luck.”
I nodded at that truth, then hopped on my bike and pedaled across town.