I was greeted by the sound of a television playing. The little girl who'd opened the door for me came running down the hallway with what looked like the same kind of tube of yogurt that Ryan liked to eat.
"Five more minutes of TV, Sierra. And then it's bedtime."
"Okay, Daddy."
The child darted past us and disappeared into what looked like a den. It was the room where the TV was playing.
"Come on in," Ren said cautiously as he stepped around me and led me down the hallway in the direction Sierra had come from. We ended up in the kitchen. The trio lived in a townhouse rather than a single-family home, but it was spacious and bright. There were pictures everywhere and the refrigerator was covered in all sorts of children’s artwork. "Would you like something to drink?" Ren asked.
I shook my head.
An awkward silence fell between us before Ren gently said, "Did you come here to see Declan?"
My throat was thick with emotion. I hated the bitter regret that filled my belly. I’d hoped this would be easier. That I'd walk in the door and just be able to let everything go, but all the pictures of Declan smiling with his family hurt like a son of a bitch. I managed a nod and nothing more.
"Okay, I'll go get him," Ren said softly and then he hurried off, the dog trailing behind him. I wanted to turn tail and run. I wanted to not have to look at all the pictures that were proof of the happiness Declan had found. I'd dreamed of having similar pictures in my house one day of me, Mac, and our kids.
I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at the damning photographs. But all that did was make me think about the reason I’d come here in the first place.
I wasn't sure how much time passed before I heard heavy footsteps coming my direction. When Declan rounded the corner that led into the kitchen, he stopped and stared at me as if surprised that it really was me standing in his kitchen.
I wanted to tell him I was surprised that I was standing there too.
"Sam," he said softly. His arm was in a sling, but otherwise he looked healthy. I was glad when that made me feel relieved. I already felt like the biggest asshole on the planet for the bitterness his family pictures made me feel. At least I wasn't so far gone that I wished the man harm. And just seeing that sling reminded me of how Declan had jumped in front of Elliot. The bullet that had torn through Declan's shoulder would've hit Elliot square in the chest if Declan hadn’t done what he’d done.
The reminder of that night and the close call was the push I needed to finally open my mouth.
"I need your help," I blurted.
Declan's eyes widened almost comically, but then he quickly got control of himself and nodded. "Please, sit," he said. "What's going on?" he asked as he eased himself into a chair. Despite his suggestion that I sit, I couldn't. If I sat, I'd fall apart.
"I need to find someone. To make sure he’s okay. But I don't know how to do that." My mind automatically went to the terrible image that had been haunting me for the past two weeks—Matias's body lying in a ditch somewhere, his lifeless eyes staring at nothing.
"Okay, to start we can file a missing persons report—"
"It's Matias," I interjected before he could finish.
"Matias de la Vega?" Declan asked in surprise.
I nodded.
Declan hesitated a moment before saying, "Have you talked to Cruz—"
"No," I said. "Not directly, anyway. It's complicated." I began pacing the small kitchen. "I don't think Cruz has heard from him. He didn’t come right out and say that when he and Elliot were over for Thanksgiving dinner but…” I found myself biting into my lip to try and get control of myself. “Matias left two weeks ago and no one has seen or heard from him since."
"Sam—" Declan began, his voice full of confusion.
The helplessness and frustration that I'd been feeling for the past two weeks spilled over in a horrific way. "Declan, please, I just need your help. He told me that you guys know each other… that the person he works for knows you or something. I don't really know what kind of work he does, but I know it isn't just security. I just need to know that he's okay. I can't file a missing persons report because then my name will go on it and the police will talk to Cruz and he'll find out…" I shook my head. "Please, Declan, I didn't know where else to go."
The chair scraped back, but I couldn't bring myself to look up. I kept pacing, but eventually Declan's feet came into view. He was only a handful of inches from me, but thankfully he didn't reach for me or anything like that. He just stood there as he said, "Sam, we'll find him, okay? I haven't met Matias directly, but you're right, I do know the person he works for. I also know that all the guys who work for that man know what they're doing and can take care of themselves. I'm going to start by making a couple of phone calls."
That had me looking up at Declan. "Cruz can't know that I…" I didn't know how to finish the statement because I hadn't actually told Declan the truth about my relationship with Matias. Honestly, I couldn't even remember half the things I'd said to Declan during my outburst.
"He won't," Declan assured me. "Why don't you sit down?" He motioned to one of the kitchen chairs. I forced myself to move to it and sit but it was hard to keep still. It brought back memories of dinners with my family when I'd been a kid. The silence had me on edge now as it had back then.
I jumped when Declan appeared at my side and put a bottle of water on the table in front of me. He seemed startled by my reaction. "Sorry," I mumbled as I reached for the bottle. It would at least give my hands something to do.
I forced myself to take a drink of the water as Declan moved back around the table and sat down across from me. It was hard to keep my eyes on him, so I focused on the bottle in my hand instead.
"Sam, can you tell me about your relationship with Matias?"
I nodded but found myself unable to actually say anything after that.
"I take it that something has happened between the two of you since the night of the attack?" Declan said carefully.
I nodded again.
"Were you with him the night that he disappeared?"
"Yes," I managed to say. "He came with his brother and Elliot to my house for movie night. He, uh, got some kind of text on his phone and then he just got up and walked out. He didn't say a thing."
My heart thudded painfully in my chest. "Cruz went after him and I heard them arguing, but I couldn't really make out what they were saying. I think Cruz asked him not to do something, but I don't know what it was. Matias left anyway. I followed him to his car, but…" I could feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes as I remembered how Matias hadn't even looked back when I’d called his name. I reminded myself that the last person I should be falling apart in front of was Declan Barretti, but I was too raw to control my emotions anymore. There hadn't been a single person I could talk to about what was happening in the past two weeks, and now that there was someone in front of me, it was like my mouth was moving of its own accord.
"Did you try to call him?" Declan asked.