I made a decision and shifted closer on the couch, wanting to see how he reacted. There was only a hand’s width between us. “What did you have in mind?” I kept my voice low. Then I put down my glass and stroked a single finger along his thigh, starting at the knee and moving higher, stopping just short of the crease in his jeans where the beginnings of an erection were visible.
Whatever he wants to ask, it’s a turn-on. My finger’s slow journey hadn’t fazed him, however.
“Well…” Chandler took another sip. “When you laid out how things were going to go, you didn’t mention if we were going to keep it strictly… vanilla.” He licked his lower lip, and for one moment, I wanted to be the one tracing the soft flesh with my tongue, before exploring his mouth, pulling gently on that full lip with my teeth, feeling his hands on me…
Whoa. Where did that come from?
I didn’t kiss. I never kissed. And I was the one who touched, stroked, manipulated…
Then the full import of that single word hit home.
“You got something against vanilla?” My words were light, but inside, my heart was pounding. No way. No fucking way. I couldn’t be that lucky. Of all the guys that had crossed my path, had I finally found one who wasn’t about to freak?
Except…
My mind was drawn back to That Question.
I get to fuck you too, right?
What if Chandler had ideas about being in control?
Okay. I’m not a control freak. No, really, I’m not. Just because I run a company like clockwork, I say how everything goes, I have a schedule and I stick to it, everyone gets to do what I say, and…
Who was I kidding? Control could be my middle name.
So if we were going to start along that path, I got to say who did what to whom. And it sure wasn’t going to be me in handcuffs, or tied to the bed, or with a huge fucking dildo rammed all the way up my ass…
“I just wanted to see if there were… options.” Chandler met my gaze.
Be still my heart. And for once, I wasn’t being sarcastic.
“There might be,” I said slowly, retracing that line to his knee, before changing direction and heading back to his groin. Only this time, I molded my hand around his bulge and squeezed hard.
Fuck. His eyes were so huge and so dark.
I didn’t loosen my grip as I locked gazes with him. “This what you had in mind?” Then I tightened my grip.
He swallowed, hard. “Fuck, yeah.” That came out as a whisper.
“Just so we’re clear? This is how it would be.” I smiled. “I like having the upper hand.” I loosened my hold on his dick, and he breathed easier.
“Yeah, I sorta guessed that.”
I picked up my glass and took a long drink from it. “Seems like we’re on the same page.” I didn’t move back to my previous position.
“Just so we’re clear…” Chandler coughed. “I know that was a head rush today when Dean opened the door, but I don’t want us getting caught. The whole point about this is that it stays secret. Right?”
“Hey, you were the one blowing me while he was talking, remember?” And yes, it had been a rush. Part of me had fucking loved it. And wanted more. I grinned. “But you have to admit, it got your heart beating faster.” Still, he had a point. The complications that could arise if we were discovered didn’t bear thinking about. Chandler reported to me, so us fucking had to be some kind of violation of company policy. And if push came to shove, Chandler would be the one to get a warning or worse, and my reputation – and the reputation of my company – would be down the toilet.
It was my company, and I wasn’t about to risk it.
Chandler finished his Scotch. “So where do we go from here?”
“Business as usual. You turn up to work, you do your work, and at the end of the day, you come to my office.” I smiled. “Only, this time? I’m going to lock the door.”
He laughed. “I was gonna suggest that.”
This felt… good, like we’d cleared the air, laid the groundwork... On impulse, I added, “except now that we’ve talked, I might bring a little extra something in my briefcase.”
Chandler reaching down to adjust his hard on was all kinds of delicious.
In that moment I wanted to change my mind. I wanted more than a conversation and a drink. But I knew I had to be strong.
I had to be the one in control.
I glanced at the clock. “I think you should go. We’ve both got work in the morning, and I happen to know your boss is a stickler when it comes to punctuality.” I gave him a wide smile.
“Yeah, that boss of mine.” Chandler’s eyes twinkled as he got up from the couch. “He can be a real hard ass. But you know what?” He headed for the door, and paused, his hand on the latch, his gaze on me. “He has the hottest looking ass. And one of these days…”
I got the implication, and chuckled. “Dream on.”
Chandler stilled. “That wasn’t a ‘no no no’. I’m still thinking a definite maybe.” That wicked gleam in his eyes was really attractive. “I’m not gonna give up.”
“I love a man who sticks to his guns.” And I definitely wasn’t imagining me on all fours, Chandler’s hands on my hips, pulling me back roughly onto his thick cock, both of us moaning, both of us close to the edge…
I shoved him out the door and locked it, before either of us said or did something I might regret.
3.00 a.m. and I was wide awake. I was in no doubt as to what was preventing me from falling asleep.
Chandler.
He’d revealed a lot, some of it I’m sure unintentionally. I couldn’t escape the feeling that beyond the liking for sex, the penchant for spicing things up a little, there was a man who longed for more than that. What shocked me to the core was that I wanted more too.
This could get tricky.
This could get… serious.
I didn’t do serious. I’d started this with one aim in mind‒a way to meet my needs, pure and simple. Once I’d realized Chandler was on board with the prospect, I’d envisaged encounter after hot encounter, getting my rocks off, with no fear of complications. I knew where I was with Chandler. He was a known quantity.
Except he wasn’t. I’d gotten him all wrong.
That didn’t mean I had to let things continue along this particular path. I had options.
I could call it off.
Only, I didn’t want to. Why the fuck should I? We were both consenting adults. We knew the score going into this. We were both getting what we wanted, right?
What concerned me more was the way that option made me feel. Because I really, really didn’t want this to end. Had I made a mistake inviting him for a drink? Had I unwittingly taken this to another level? Had he read more into this because of my mistake?
Christ. At this rate, I’d get no sleep whatsoever.
I let it continue, then. But maybe with a few changes. I keep my distance. I remain aloof. I let him see that this evening was just a blip, nothing more.
I could do that. I could be distant. Hell, I could do anything.
I’m the boss.
I liked option two. I could do option two. And some part of my brain clearly liked that option, because I felt the tension draining from my body. Finally. As I drifted off to sleep, one thought filtered through my head.