Gretchen, Roxy, Suzie, and Blithe laughed and sang. But when Gretchen caught my eye, she shook her head with a laugh. “Oh, girl, you’re in big trouble,” she yelled over the music.
I shook my head looking to the ceiling. “I know.”
Blithe grabbed my hand and twirled me.
I wished I had my cello so I could run up on stage too. Then I allowed myself just for a moment, to imagine what it might be like playing with him without any expectations or a deadline. Just to play together. To hear him sing so beautifully, to play any instrument he wanted, while I joined on the cello. We would make beautiful music together.
The whole bar sang along loudly. Devlin’s hands danced happily up and down the keyboard, but he still kept his face from the crowd. The girls and I belted out the lyrics at the top of our lungs and yes, I had tears in my eyes. How could I not? This was the power of music.
There was no going back from here. I could no longer delude myself that my feelings for Devlin were anything less than epic.
Chapter 26
You already know who I am.
DEVLIN
It was Wes’s stupid idea to go out. I was perfectly fine staying at home, working on my current composition and brooding. Just another Thursday night for me.
We were at Genie’s, not because the SWS was having a meeting there, but because Kim had technically invited me. I’d finally caught her after rehearsal with the SOOK today, after her previous clear avoidance of me. I still hadn’t heard what she’d thought of the Ford’s Fosters rehearsal. She brushed me off quickly, saying she had plans before rushing off. Maybe she’d felt obliged, but she had technically invited me. When Wes had wanted to go out for drinks, I suggested the only decent bar in town. It wasn’t anything more than that.
The bar was packed. Wes snagged us a small standing table near the dance floor, hidden from the rest of the room. I could push my cover down to drink without drawing attention in the darkness. My gaze very casually scanned the room. A brunette waitress came to take our order.
I said, “Two of whatever draft is on special.”
She winked and said, “You got it. Anything to eat?”
“Just the drinks,” Wes said with his usual charm.
She politely smiled back and went on her way.
“What’s Kelly up to?” I asked dryly.
“She’s putting the kids down,” Wes said. “I can only stay for one drink. I was promised some ‘Netflix and chill’ later.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
We chatted for a while and I positioned myself so that I could see Kim as she spoke with her friends. Whatever she talked about had her going. Her cheeks were bright red and her delicate hands mimicked catching a large bass. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall of that conversation.
“Remember that time you peed your bed in third grade?” Wes said loudly.
I blinked my attention back to him. “What?”
“You are listening. Just checking.”
“I didn’t pee my bed. That was you, dumbass.”
He shrugged. “I see your Kim is here. That’s a strange coincidence.”
I frowned. “Not mine. Don’t talk like that, or I will have her come over and lecture you on people being treated as property.”
He shuddered. “I learned my lesson the first time. Still. I can’t help but think maybe you aren’t being honest about your feelings for her.”
The label of my beer sat in a pile of strips. “She isn’t what I expected.”
“In a good way?”
“I’m not sure. She seems to be two different people. Christine at work and then Kim at my house. Christine is the ideal musician; prompt and dedicated. But Kim is funny. So funny. And she’s just so open. And talented. I knew she was. But I had forgotten how much power there was in her playing.”
Wes raised his eyebrows and took a long pull from his beer. “Have you told her any of that?”
“God, no.”
“Why?”
I just shook my head. My feelings for Kim were complicated. I settled on. “I’m her conductor.”
He nodded. “I get it. You want to make it through the season without being fired. Still … You could show her that there is more to you than the masked-man schtick.”
I glared up at him.
“You obviously like her but don’t want to screw up. I get it. So let it be her choice. I’m not trying to make you cross any lines, but don’t forget the ultimate secret weapon at your disposal.”
“Secret weapon?”
“For wooing!” he said and slapped the table. “Come on man, you know you have a super-power.”
“With great power comes great responsibility,” I grumbled into my glass before I gulped down the rest of my beer. My hands started to shake. A very bad idea was settling in.
“Talents are wasted on nerds. One song,” he said. “It’ll be fun.”
My heart started hammering. Going on stage … people watching …
“Lay off me,” I snapped.
“Don’t do that,” Wes said, completely unfazed. “Don’t get pissy with me because you don’t like what I’m saying.”
I crossed my arms tight and my foot tapped wildly.
He shook his head at me. “I forget how shy you are.”
“I’m not shy.” Shy wasn’t the right word. It was more than that. “Not everybody can charm a salesman out of his wallet.”
“I can’t turn it off,” he said. “Do what you want, but don’t be an idiot.”
“Rich, coming from you.”
He hadn’t been trying to piss me off. Well, he never tried. That also came naturally for him. But in his defense, I sometimes got ticked off if I felt myself being pushed into something I didn’t want.
“Ha. Look, I gotta go.” He stood up, pulled out a twenty and threw it on the table. He came around to hug me goodbye. “I’m glad you’re back in town.”
“You said that last time.”
“That’s cause I mean it.”
“It’s not all bad being back here,” I admitted.
“Don’t screw up and leave us all again.” He gripped my shoulder and looked seriously into my eyes. “It nearly broke Ma when you stayed away so long. Stay here. With your nieces and family. Do what it takes to make it permanent.”
“Why do you think I’m working so hard?”
He shook me lightly. “Then keep at it. And don’t be a chickenshit,” he said nodding at the open mic flyer on the wall.
“Goodbye, brother,” I said.
“Goodbye, brother,” he mimicked me.
After he left, I flagged down the server for a shot of tequila and asked about the line-up for tonight.
“Now or never,” she said as she set down the shot. “There’s an opening, but you gotta go up now.”
“Thanks.” I pulled down my mask to take the shot quickly before pulling it back up. Her eyes squinted like she was trying to place me. I wiped my mouth and walked away as she opened her mouth to speak.
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and stepped on the stage.