Noah snorted. “It would be handy.” Except, he didn’t want to expunge Ian from his memory. Maybe at one time he had, but only when the pain was at its worst. Noah lifted his gaze and looked at Dan. “Am I crazy for saying he and I could be friends?”
Daniel raised his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, if you’re looking for a reason to not see him, that’s all on you.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Isn’t it?” Daniel gave him a skeptical look.
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“You’re not the type to need validation from people, so I’ll say this, and then I’ll kick your ass out the door, so you won’t be late. Take it one step at a time. It’s breakfast, not a lifetime commitment.”
At one time, Noah would’ve given anything to have that. He’d been in love with Ian before gay marriage was legal, back when he didn’t think they could have that sort of relationship. Now it was there for anyone who wanted it, and Noah didn’t have anyone to fill a future with.
There’d been men after Ian whom he’d loved, but each time he fell for someone it felt like forever got further out of reach. Noah was tired of hoping for something he felt wouldn’t happen. So no, it wasn’t a lifetime commitment. Only breakfast.
“Jesus fuck you make it hard to cheer you up.”
Noah grinned. “Sorry.”
“You’re one bleak bastard sometimes. Go eat a waffle. Get those sugars up.” Daniel clapped him on the back. “I’ll see you at the office. Take your time.”
Noah nodded and walked Daniel to the door. Ten minutes later Noah crossed the street and walked into the cafe. The bells above the door jingled and announced his presence. He spotted Ian right away, sitting at a booth near the back. Noah pushed past his frayed nerves and made himself walk over and take a seat opposite Ian.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” Ian said. A half-empty coffee sat in front of him. A waitress appeared, and Noah ordered a coffee and a western omelet. Ian ordered the same thing.
“Why didn’t you think I’d come? I said I would.”
“It doesn’t seem real, being here, seeing you. That’s all.”
Noah laughed. “Yeah. I know the feeling. I almost convinced myself I’d gotten wasted and dreamed you up for a few minutes this morning.”
“Now that we’ve established we’re both weirded out, how’ve you been?”
Noah took a sip of his coffee. “I can’t complain. Life here is nicer than the city ever was.” But he couldn’t regret his time away from his beloved town. Not only did he make some truly great friends, but he’d returned with a newfound appreciation for small town living. “You said you and Bridget were starting a business? Care to tell me more?”
Ian grinned. “Is this Noah the friend, or Noah the newspaper editor asking?”
“Why not both?”
“She wants to open a bar slash bookstore.”
“A bar and a bookstore?” Noah furrowed his brow. “That’s a strange combination.”
“Craft brew, low key music, themed nights, a book club. She’s designed a bunch of drinks to pair with books and given them nifty names.”
“Like, to kill a margarita?”
“Close. She has a mint chocolate drink, Love Comes After Eight.”
“Mint chocolate?”
“It’s amazing.”
“Another one is Dirty Stick and Poke. She changed up the classic martini. She’s got a whole list of them.”
“Where’s this going in?”
They paused while the waitress delivered their food and Noah tucked into his while Ian told him about the business plan.
“There’s the old soda shop over on Hill Street. She bought it and is ready to renovate. You’ll be able to get books and coffee all day long and then booze and books at night. She can’t do it alone though, so I’m helping her out.”
“Does she have the permits lined up yet? Business license, etcetera? When do you think you’ll be open?”
“She’s hoping to be open in time for Christmas.”
“That’s not a lot of time to get things done.”
“Tell me about it. We got the building permits lined up, so after this I’m on my way over to get the demo going.”
“I’d love to offer my assistance, but I have the festival edition to put together. Still, maybe after I get this nailed down. It’s the biggest paper of the year around these parts.”
“You want to come get dirty with me?” Ian asked with a sparkle in his eye.
Noah’s heart stopped. How was it this effortless to be with Ian after twenty years of not seeing each other? They’d gone from stunned and awkward to at ease and even vaguely flirty without missing a beat.
“Sorry.” Ian looked down at his food.
“No, it’s okay. It caught me off guard, is all.”
“About how weird this is?”
Noah shrugged and looked down at his food, unable to look at Ian anymore. “Because it’s not weird.”
“I saw the award you won. The fancy one.”
Noah nodded. “I have the picture hanging. I’ll show you sometime.” The picture Noah had taken was an old beat up truck abandoned in a field. It had no windows and was full of dents and bullet holes. The blue paint color shone through in places, but most of it was rust. It sat on the backdrop of one of the most beautiful sunsets Noah had ever witnessed. The wind was perfect that night, tickling the long grass and the daisies so they leaned gracefully, adding a layer of wistfulness to the picture Noah couldn’t have engineered himself.
That’s what he didn’t get why people were so impressed by him. Nature did all the work. All he did was take pictures of what he saw. It wasn’t anything special. But even as the thought crossed his mind, the picture he’d taken of Ian popped into his mind and he looked a lot like a sunbeam, with the light glittering in his hair. Noah guessed it made Ian the daisy. Leaning in the wind, but still standing.
“I’d like to see it. I want to see all your stuff.”
Noah almost choked on a bite of his breakfast. “No. You don’t. Nature’s not the only thing I take pictures of.”
Ian held his gaze, as if daring Noah to look away. “I’d like to see all of your pictures, Noah.”
Noah speared a bite of egg. “We’ll see.”
“That’s not a no.”
“It’s not a yes, either.”
“You don’t have to show me everything. I just… I want to know you again.”
“I want to know you too, Ian.” Noah leaned back and pushed his empty plate to the side. “How d’you get hurt in basic?”
Ian went white for a split second, then forced a smile. “You don’t pull punches, do you?”
“Nope.”
“It was six weeks in.” Ian looked away. He wore shame on his face like it had just happened. He winced, and his breathing shook. Noah took a breath and tried not to think back to what he’d been doing when Ian got hurt. “It’s probably the stupidest story known in army history. We were on a hike. It was early and dark, raining hard. We had on full packs and every last one of us was miserable. The loop wasn’t too bad in the daylight, even though the hill was a bitch. But in the dark and the rain, the whole trail turned to clay.”