“It seems when I do admit what I’m thinking, you go on the defensive and threaten you’ll fight me if need be.” She raised a shaky hand to tuck her hair behind her hair. “Trey, that terrifies me.”
“I said that out of frustration,” I admitted. “Every time you get lost in your own head, I’m thinking the worst, believing you’re back to wanting to take her away from me. It seems your actions cause my reactions and vice versa.” I stared deep into her eyes and shook my head. “I would never take Alivia away from you… ever.”
Her brown eyes began to shimmer a bit just as she sighed. “I won’t take her away from you either… no matter what happens between—” She stopped herself and waved a hand. “I won’t.”
No mention of her feelings for me, no mention of the kiss we’d shared. Her delivery was all very business-like and matter of fact.
For the first time since this all started, I finally felt relieved but was no less confused.
Chapter 20
Camilla
As my daughter chatted, I poured a bowl of her favorite cereal, maintaining the smile I’d had plastered on my face since the moment she woke.
So far, she had filled me in on all the things I’d missed out on—making s’mores on the beach, the most “beautifulest” fireworks she ever saw, watching The Minions in the theater room, and her team winning the soccer game, just to name a few.
“Mommy, Trey is so funny.” She stopped long enough to take her first spoonful of the sweet crunchy Os she loved. “He kept telling us knock-knock jokes.” After another spoon delay, she swallowed and her eyes widened before saying, “Knock-knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana.” Suddenly, she frantically waved her hand. “No, that’s wrong… lettuce.”
I couldn’t stop grinning at the determined look on her face. “Lettuce who?”
“Lettuce in… and you’ll find out.” A fit of giggles took hold, shaking her body while she smacked the table. “Wasn’t that funny, Mommy?” she asked breathlessly.
“Very funny, sweetheart.”
“I can’t wait to tell my friends at camp. The banana one was funny, too, but I forget the rest of it.”
“Oh, I think I know that one.” Reciting the joke that starred an orange and a banana, I giggled along with her once I voiced the punch line.
“Yes, that’s it. I have to remember that.” I enjoyed watching her being her, pointing out things she noticed at the Lairs, boasting that she’d helped Leila by playing with Siarra. “Oh, yeah… can I get a guitar? Shane let me use his guitar so Trey could start teaching me. He’s going to give me lessons.” More dialogue came, praising Trey like he was the “funnest” person—her word—on Earth.
I loved that she’d had such a great time, but a tiny part of me resented all the fabulousness he was introducing my daughter to. It was as if he held the key to the best amusement park on the planet and offered her a lifetime pass… or her first taste of sugar after a lifetime of vegetables.
Not wanting her cereal to get soggy, I pointed to her breakfast. “Finish eating, and then we’ll get dressed.”
“Can we go to Aunt Debbie’s to swim today? I want to show you the new jump Trey taught me.”
“We can do that. And how about if we buy Uncle Carson’s favorite cupcakes as a surprise?”
“Yes. He will be so happy!” A genuine smile spread as I watched her resume eating breakfast. Every few bites, she’d look up at me while those piercing blue eyes of hers melted my heart.
Knowing what was on the agenda tomorrow, I didn’t want to think about Trey, his money, or especially what he was urging me to do. All I wanted was to spend quality time with Alivia. This could very well be the last time I had her all to myself before reality changed. That may sound selfish, but I couldn’t compete with the world she’d been exposed to. I was barely making ends meet as it was.
The money Trey had sent went right into Alivia’s bank account, and any future payments would be deposited as well. I couldn’t wrap my head around accepting his checks and using them. I had to admit knowing they came supplied a level of relief I never experienced before. When one always lived from paycheck to paycheck it was hard to grapple with a security net that suddenly appeared from nowhere and not worry it would fail to catch you.
Keeping my business running was important to me. But distractions that came because of Trey had me so behind in work. So far, I’d been able to use the holiday as an excuse, since most of my clients were off. But come Monday, I needed to focus on getting all the pending projects done. Even though Alivia would be back in camp, I couldn’t assume our schedule would be back to normal. Especially not after we told her our news.
I’d worry about it all when I had to. For now, I had to take one day at a time.
“Done?” I asked as she gobbled up the last few rings.
“Yep.” Bouncing off her chair, she ran to get dressed in her bathing suit even without knowing what Debbie and Carson were up to today. I wasn’t concerned, as those times that they did have plans, Alivia and I would still use their yard.
I grabbed my cell and shot off a text.
Hey, not sure if you’re around, but we’re coming over to swim.
The dots danced and a reply came quickly.
You beat me to it. My nephew is sick, so our plans were canceled. Come on over.
A half hour later, after lotion was applied to her already beautifully tanned skin, Alivia helped herself to the pool toys Carson kept in a storage box. Once her favorite inflatables were blown up and ready to go, she took advantage of the large oval pool brimming with a refreshing escape to the July heat.
Possessing the stamina of most six-year-olds, she tirelessly splashed away the time without a care in the world.
“Watch me, Mommy.” I nodded at her as she positioned her toes on the edge of the deck and then jumped forward while making herself stiff as a board. Debbie caught my gaze and smiled. When Alivia surfaced, she said, “Ta-da! That was a pencil jump.”
We clapped on cue just as Carson appeared with snacks and drinks. “Who wants some quack-a-mole and chips?” he asked, calling the green creamy dip what Alivia had since she’d first learned to talk.
Being an avocado junkie, her arm shot up. “I do… I do!” She exited the pool in record time, came over to get a fluffy towel, and headed right toward Carson. The two had a great bond… as did his wife and Alivia. Desperately trying to conceive, they craved every moment they were able to spend with my daughter. Knowing they would care for her, unconditionally love her if I weren’t around, was what had started my need to plan a safe future for Alivia. For years I appreciated having Carson as a father figure in her life… except she now had the real deal.
I tried not to think of Trey all day and wasn’t having much luck. I truly worried about how Alivia would react. Would she understand the gravity of our news? Would she get why we hadn’t been together all these years? Would she resent me once she did understand?
Knowing my dilemma, Debbie leaned toward me and whispered, “Does she know what’s happening tomorrow?”