Trey
Fuck me.
I stood staring at the door like an idiot while a twinge of gratitude swelled because she’d left. By doing so, she’d slammed a door on the tsunami brewing between us… one that could destroy us both.
The problem—how long could we keep that door shut?
Eventually we had to deal with one another. This situation between us wasn’t going away, and I had no confidence either of us knew how to handle it.
For fuck’s sake, I knew that I obviously couldn’t. Even as I argued with myself that getting involved with Camilla couldn’t happen, I’d gone ahead and kissed her not once but twice.
At the moment, the desire to crack open a beer was fierce, but succumbing to one harmless beer meant the harder anesthetics I’d used in my past were just a step away. So instead I grabbed my hat and shades and headed to the Lairs.
With my head bent, I power walked my way over. I slid out of the elevator less than ten minutes later, and Jack greeted me in the foyer. “Where’s Camilla?”
“She just left, and I needed out of my apartment.” The way I said that, and the look on my face, clued him in that I was deflecting temptation.
“You were right to come over.”
“Where are the kids?”
“Watching a movie. We can talk in the kitchen.”
Leila was busy at the island, assembling some sort of snack boxes. At our approach, she looked up and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Where do I start?” I sat heavily on one of the barstools, feeling exposed. This wasn’t the first time I’d gone to my friends for advice. It had happened occasionally after I’d come back home to focus on my recovery. Mostly, I’d open up when I felt a meltdown coming on a day I didn’t have access to therapy.
Regardless, opening up wasn’t something I’d ever mastered. It went against my nature. My entire life I’d internalized my problems, hiding them from everyone, pretending I didn’t have a care in the world.
One thing happened when you popped a cork that contained all your feelings and emotions for years and years… there was no putting them back in that bottle once they were released.
So instead I admitted defeat and got through catastrophes that threatened my recovery by seeking help wherever I could find it.
Like now.
Leila stopped her task and leaned on her elbows, giving me her undivided attention. Jack took the seat beside me, essentially doing the same.
I already knew that Leila knew of our kiss on the beach, and of my hearing Camilla’s phone conversation. A few days ago, Jack slipped that he’d told her. I couldn’t be angry, as these two shared everything.
So, not bothering with any pretenses, I came right out and said, “I kissed her again.” Predictably, it wasn’t concern that I saw in Leila’s expression but more along the lines of elation. “Don’t. Despite what you think, this isn’t a good idea, Lei.”
“What isn’t?” She feigned ignorance, to which I rolled my eyes.
“Getting involved with Camilla.” To that, she didn’t respond and instead bit down on her lip. “What? Spill it. I know you want to.”
“And you want me to be completely honest?”
“No, please lie to me,” I said on another eye roll.
Jack instantly piped in, “Watch it,” to which I groaned.
Leila gave her husband an adoring smile before explaining, “You know that I meant sugarcoating it… which I sometimes have to do for you,” she reminded with a pointed expression.
“No sugarcoating. Let it out.”
“Okay… but you’re not going to like what I have to say.”
On a sigh, I glanced at Jack, who tried to pretend ignorance, but the jackass couldn’t fool me. “Just say it.”
“You need to stop fighting the good things that come to you. Of all people, you know how quickly life can turn. I’d rather have had five minutes of happiness with the people I love than years of playing it safe by being alone.”
She carefully watched a myriad of emotions cross over my features—from resentment that she’d called me out, to anger because she knew I had a legit reason to push people away, to defeat when I realized she was right.
Looking back a few months, I knew my life sucked in comparison to now. Sure, it had to do with the little girl I’d completely fallen in love with. But even having Camilla in my life improved it on some level. Besides the obvious way she roused a libido that had been dormant for a while, I liked teasing her, and I liked seeing that feisty side when I irritated her. Okay, I’d go as far as admitting that I liked her, a lot.
In spite of all that, I pressed my lips together and remained silent.
Undeterred, Leila shook her head and continued. “Stop wasting time, Trey. Yeah, you’ve been dealt one crappy hand after another. But then again, combined, they all got you to where you are now. Jack knows how much I struggled to get past what Danny tried to do to me, but without that trauma, I wouldn’t be where I am now.” She reached for Jack’s hand and smiled. “Just be happy… please stop living with regrets.”
“I don’t know how to do that. My life has been one fucking regret.” Except for Alivia, my subconscious argued. Harsh but true.
“Don’t say that.” Leila impatiently shook her head. “I’ll teach you.”
Chapter 25
Camilla
A solid hard knock on my door prompted me to rush down the stairs. When I opened it, Debbie held up a bottle of wine in one hand and a bakery box in the other. “We’re self-medicating.”
“Great idea.” This woman was my rock, the sister I didn’t have. One call with minimal explanation had her dropping everything to come lend an ear.
Snatching the wine from her outstretched hand, I led her up the stairs before getting to work on pouring and plating. A few minutes later, we both sat on my couch with the goods ready to be consumed.
After she took a large gulp of wine, she said, “Okay, start from the beginning.”
Debbie knew I was already irked with Trey for showering Alivia with gifts. But I still filled her in on the lengths he went to by throwing her that party, as well as unveiling her room at his place, including the additions he’d added.
“This isn’t anything new.” She waved a dismissing hand. I hadn’t expected her to side with me, since she’d voiced many times the man had every right to spoil his daughter, but a little sympathy would’ve been nice. “So, what really has you in a tizzy?”
“I’m getting to that part,” I said impatiently. “He kissed me again.”
Debbie smacked her lap with a grin. “Now we’re talking. When, where, how was it?”
“His apartment after we dropped Alivia off for her playdate. It was strange. One minute we were bickering, the next his mouth was on mine. I’m not sure I can trust it. It’s like this fire and ice between us, with no in-between.”
“Perfect ingredients for a thigh-quivering romance.” I rolled my eyes. “Did you panic and run away again… is that why you’re home now?”
“Not at first. I got lost in the kiss. Our first one on the beach was brief and awkward in that we both knew it was a mistake. But this time, during it we seemed to forget that key point.” I didn’t even have to close my eyes to relive the memory of how his soft lips had owned mine. “It went on and on before we finally snapped back to reality.”