Breaking up with her was about removing both of us from a situation that had no good ending. I was doing this for her because I knew it made sense.
I hadn’t seen her since December. Just the calls and texts. I wasn’t a fan of video chatting because I thought it was stupid. We knew what the other looked like, what was the point?
So I was nervous. Nervous about what I would say, how she would react. Nervous, too, I might fall on my knees in front of her and ask her to run away with me.
“Marc.”
I turned, and she was there. Walking towards me. Her wispy blond hair tied in a ponytail, her eyes so big and blue they hurt me. I didn’t think. I just opened my arms and she ran into me. Almost knocking us over.
Immediately, she started crying into my chest. Deep, heaving sobs I feared would trigger an asthma attack.
“Calm down, Ash. Breathe. Easy in, and out. In and out.”
“I’m sorry,” she hiccupped, working to catch her breath. “I just know...”
“What do you know?”
What could she possibly know? She thought we were going to hang out for a few hours. That I was going to fuck her and kiss her, then send her on her way. She had no idea I was going to end this.
End us.
“We need to break up,” she said, taking a step back, using her shirt sleeves to wipe the tears from her eyes.
The words were like an explosion in my brain. Not because I was surprised she was the first one to say it. It was because she knew, like she always did, exactly where my head was.
Did she know where my heart was, too?
“Yeah,” I said, letting go the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.
“You don’t believe in us enough. Not yet,” she declared. Her chin lifted as if she dared me to defy her.
I bowed my head and closed my eyes. How did I tell her I didn’t believe in me?. Because of that, I couldn’t be part of an us. If I ever had a chance, it might be with her. But her father was never going to give us that.
“Ash, I can’t see how this ends,” I told her.
“I can. But I can’t make you see it if you don’t. You’ll hurt. Like you did when I was in Switzerland, but this will be worse, because it has to be final. No texts, no calls, no communication. It’s the only way.”
I nodded. It was the only way. The only way to stop us from falling into the habit of us.
Not speaking to Ash. Not knowing if she was okay.
I shook my head then. “No, I can’t do it.”
She smiled sadly and patted my chest with her hand. “You’ll be okay. We both will. I promise. Now, let’s go.”
I felt dazed. Almost concussed. Like I couldn’t think and really needed to right now. I needed to be the one in charge. A person who could be strong for her, but, instead, she was taking me by the hand and leading me out of the airport to the parking garage.
“Where are we going?”
“You got us a room, didn’t you?” she asked.
I had. I thought there was going to be more crying. More…objection. I figured we would need some privacy to hash it all out. I didn’t expect she would make this so easy for me.
Of course she did. Because she would do anything for me.
“Then we’re going to go have break-up sex. I’ve been reading up on it and it’s supposed to be really intense. Anyway, it’s how I want to say goodbye.”
The word didn’t translate. Goodbye? There was going to be a goodbye at the end of this day, and I wasn’t going to talk to her again.
Her new rules.
When I hadn’t even gotten a chance to follow any of her old ones. I’d never sent one damn present to her secret PO box. I could have done at least that. One fucking box of chocolates.
“Okay,” I agreed. “This is how we’ll say it. Then we both can be done.”
Her bottom lip wobbled, but she nodded her head tightly.
Marc
“Fuck!” I shouted, even as I pulled out of her tight, little pussy. “Ash, you have to stop crying. I can’t fuck you like this.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she sniffed, her forearm now covering her eyes. “I can’t help it. Please, please. Come back inside me.”
She reached down between us and I felt her hand wrapping around my cock, then she was sliding the condom off.
“Ash, what are you doing?”
Her hand was now on my bare cock, and it felt good as she stroked and squeezed me. Just how I liked it, because I was the one who taught her how to do it.
“Come back inside me without it,” she whispered, even as she pulled me toward her, her leg wrapped around my ass.
“That’s not going to happen. Are you insane?”
“It’s the wrong time of the month. You don’t have to come inside me. I just want you to know what it feels like. What we feel like. So you’ll remember that we’re different.”
Without thinking, I pushed my hips against hers and slammed my naked cock inside her. She was right, I wanted to feel this just once. I wanted to know what her slick, hot pussy felt like stretched around my dick.
One thrust, two. One more, then I would pull out.
“Do you feel it?” she said, panting with each hard snap of my hips. “Do you see how it’s different? When you’re with someone else, you’ll remember this. You’ll remember what it feels like with me. You’ll remember me.”
I stopped thrusting and held myself still inside her. She was hot and so damn tight. Fucking her bare was unlike anything I could imagine.
“You think I’ll forget you?” I barked. “You think I’ll forget this?”
I slammed into her hard, and watched her whole body absorb me.
“You’ll remember,” she said, arching her back, her neck. A flush started at the bottom of her neck and ran up her face.
She cried out, and I didn’t have to ask if she was faking it this time. I could feel her squeezing me hard from the inside, and I had just enough strength to pull out and come all over her pussy lips, her belly.
Break-up sex, I thought as I rolled to my back.
That sounded right. Because I felt broken.
A few hours later
Ashleigh
“Just drop me off at Arrivals. Don’t park,” I said tightly.
“This is how you want to do this?” he asked me.
I nodded. This was the only way to do it. A hard stop. “We don’t need to say anything else. We said it all back in the motel room.”
“You said it was the wrong time of the month, and I didn’t come inside you, but you need to tell me if something happens. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it together. But you can’t hide it from me.”
I nodded, and tried to force my eyes straight ahead. If I looked at him, I might start crying again, and I knew he hated it.
“I’ll text once. When I have my period. But that’s it. No matter what happens, you can’t break. Because if you break, I’ll break, and we’ll be back here before we’re ready. This sucks, and I don’t want to have to do it again.”
I glanced at him, and he nodded.
He approached the airport and followed the signs for Arrivals.