Rylan likes to do that, deliver heartfelt poignant shit and then practically run away before anyone can say a word about it. Once he’s inside his house, I shift the truck into drive and head toward my woman. I have to confess my past to her today after I sign paperwork on my new place. I just hope by the end of this day she’s moving in with me and not running away.
The hotel parking lot is almost empty when I pull up, except for her car and a couple more toward the back of the lot. I’m glad that she’s here, this morning didn’t go exactly as I’d hoped, and it seems like the rest of the evening will be nothing but a challenge.
I don’t even have to turn the truck’s engine off. Exeter is already walking toward me, her head tipped down as she hurried in my direction. I watch as she opens the door, then climbs up in the seat that Rylan just vacated next to me.
“You ready?” I ask.
She hums but doesn’t meet my eyes. I don’t know what that means, but I try not to read too far into it. Driving toward the title company, I can’t help but wonder what tonight will bring. Exeter has been quiet the past few days, but then again, so have I. It just seems like everything is happening so quickly, and without a break to breathe.
“Can I stay here while you sign?” she asks once I pull into the title company’s parking lot.
Glancing around, I notice that it’s pretty empty downtown. “Honk if you need help,” I grunt.
She reaches for me, her hand wrapping around my wrist before I can shift and open the door. “Whatever it is, we’re going to be okay, right?” she asks, her voice sounding so small.
I look down at her hand, then lift my gaze to her eyes. “Yeah,” I rumble, my voice sounding rough and scratchy. “God, I hope so.”
She nods, her brows furrowing together, but she doesn’t say anything else. Her hand falls away from mine and I slowly open the truck door and climb out of my pickup. Locking her inside, I make my way to the title company front door, pausing to look back at her.
She’s watching me, her eyes trying to read me, mine are doing the same. I want to know her every thought, I want to know that we’re good, so fucking good that she can see the same future with me as I can see with her.
Chapter Twenty-Four
WYATT
The bar downtown is quiet. Our food sits in front of us untouched. My appetite is gone, and Exeter is avoiding my eyes, knowing that I’m about to hit her with a bomb. I should be feeling high right now.
I closed escrow on a house and land. Something I’ve been working toward since I was eighteen years old. It’s all bittersweet, because not only am I leaving tomorrow, but I have to confess some shit to Exeter, some shit that I’ve been holding back for a while.
“My high school girlfriend, Sammi. We thought that we were in love. We were really young,” I begin.
Exeter lifts her gaze to mine, her eyes searching my own, waiting for me to continue. She nods, already knowing that part of my story.
“Sammi told me she was pregnant after a football game one Friday night our junior year.”
Exeter’s eyes widen and she reaches for my hand. My fingers twitch at the feel, something that I didn’t quite expect from her.
“What happened?” she breathes, though it seems like she may already know.
“Sammi decided to terminate. I didn’t know, she didn’t tell me. She did it, all the while I was buying an engagement ring, and looking into careers where I could make some money as soon as possible. It’s how I found linework.”
“Wyatt,” she whispers, her eyes watering.
Shaking my head, I run my fingers down my beard, tugging on the end. “I broke up with her, walked away and swore I would never look back. I was angry that she took my choice away. So fucking angry. I wanted that baby. She wasn’t ready, and neither was I, but I was determined to love them, forever. Do the right thing.”
Looking down at my plate of untouched food, I lift my gaze to hers. “I carried that anger with me every fucking day, Exeter. Sammi and I continued sleeping together, for almost fifteen years, we went back and forth with one another. I made sure to remind her how much she hurt me every fucking time, and she took it all, until she walked out, until she left town. Then I met you.”
“You mean, up until just a few months ago you were still sleeping with her?” she asks, her mouth dropping open slightly.
Clearing my throat, I lift one of my shoulders in a shrug. “Yeah,” I swallow thickly.
She watches me. I wait. Keeping my eyes on hers, I fucking wait for her response. She doesn’t do what I’ve imagined. Instead, she tilts her head to the side. “This is what you’ve been so quiet about lately?”
“It’s a big part of my past,” I admit.
“Do you still love her?” she asks.
I think about her words, what I feel for Sammi isn’t love, it never was. We were kids. I was infatuated with her, just as she was with me. If she loved me, then she wouldn’t have done what she did, young or not.
That’s what hurt the worst, that I was willing to be with her forever, but she wasn’t willing to do that with me. It wasn’t that I loved her, and she didn’t reciprocate, because I don’t know if I ever did, past teenage puppy love.
It was the feeling of massive rejection.
The way she made a choice for me, without even asking me.
All of it, combined, is what made me so goddamn angry, and to be honest, I still fucking am.
“No, sugar. I’m not in love with Sammi, haven’t been for a long time, don’t know if I ever really was.”
“Wyatt,” Exeter breathes, reaching for my hand from across the table.
I extend my arm, meeting her halfway. Our fingers lace together, and I lift my gaze from our laced fingers to her pretty light blue eyes. She gives me a half-smile, it’s almost sad and I wonder what that means.
Exeter frowns, her eyes flick to the side then they come back to meet my own. “There’s something Sammi and I have in common,” she begins.
My breath hitches, and without consciously realizing it, I hold that breath. Exeter’s hand trembles in mine, she inhales deeply, closing her eyes before she exhales. Then her blue eyes meet my own.
“I had an abortion, Wyatt. I didn’t tell the father, I didn’t tell anyone, nobody but MawMaw and Emily.”
Her words come out in a rush and my hand goes slack in hers, but her grip tightens, and she refuses to let me go. I look at our hands, at the whiteness in her knuckles, in the way she holds on, while I appear to completely let go. If she weren’t here right across from me, if we weren’t in a restaurant, I would stand up, turn around, walk away and never look back.
If I didn’t love her.
“Whose was it?” I ask, my voice sounding garbled.
She doesn’t speak. Lifting my head, I look at her, waiting for her answer, but her eyes are pinched closed and she’s shaking her head from side-to-side.
“Don’t make me say it out loud,” she whispers.
My gut twists. I know the answer. Fuck, do I know the answer. “The other guy, who was he?”
She lets out a ragged breath. “Before I found you, I slept with men who I knew didn’t want anything but sex. It was easy, Wyatt. This, this stuff is hard. With one-night stands, or guys too high or drunk to care, nobody cared what my past was. I could hide it, easily. With you, it’s different. You deserve to know it all.”