He shakes his head frantically from side to side, then he lifts his other hand and wraps his fingers around the front of my throat. He begins to squeeze and immediately, I inwardly panic. I try to gasp for air, but my supply is slowly being cut off.
Louis shakes me by the neck, his eyes never leaving my own. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t fucking mean it,” he screams.
I attempt to gasp for breath one more time before everything goes dark.
LOUIS
My entire body jolts when a gasping noise wakes me up from my sleep. Frowning, I realize that I’m on the floor, my naked ass is on the carpet, my back against the corner of two walls. Looking down, my stomach twists at the sight in front of me.
It’s Tulip.
She’s lying lifeless in the middle of the floor. Rising to my knees, I hover over her. Pinching my eyes closed, I reach for her neck and press two fingers to the side, looking for her pulse. I let out a breath of relief when I feel it, slowly beating.
Without a word, I slide my arms beneath her, cradling her to my chest and stand to my feet. Carrying her over to the bed, I slowly lower her onto the mattress. She lays there completely lifeless. I debate calling an ambulance, I shouldn’t debate it at all, but it looks really fucking bad.
Grabbing my cellphone, I call down to Aaron. He’s had tons of medical training through the years and if anyone in this house can help me, it will be him.
“What?” he barks, sounding like the old codger that he is.
Clearing my throat, I try not to scream at the top of my lungs into the phone. “I was dreaming, I think. She was just lying on the floor. I checked her pulse, it’s there, but it’s really fucking slow,” I ramble.
He ends the call without saying a word. I toss my phone on the bed and continue to pace. My gaze never leaves Tulip’s body. I can’t take my eyes off of her. I watch her chest rise and fall as she breathes, that gives me some comfort, but not enough.
The door bursts open and Aaron is standing there, his eyes traveling from me to Tulip and then back to me.
“Put some fuckin’ pants on,” he snaps.
My body jerks and I watch as he hurries over to Tulip’s side. He sinks down and puts a bag on the bed. Turning into the closet, I grab a pair of sweats and pull them up my legs to cover my lower half.
Then, I reach for a robe that’s hanging on the back of my closet door. It’s mine, bought by the woman who helped outfit my wardrobe. I’ve never once used it, never had the need. Making my way back to the bed, I clear my throat.
Aaron doesn’t move, he’s checking her out and then he turns his head to look up at me. “It was better she was naked, I didn’t have to fight with her clothes. I think she’s going to be okay. We’ll have to wait and see when she wakes up. If she’s still out after an hour, then we’ll have to get her to a hospital so that they can assess her.”
I drape the robe over her nakedness and fight back the fucking tears at the thought of hurting her.
“I was asleep. I haven’t had a dream in weeks. Since she’s been beside me. I thought I was done with all that shit,” I murmur.
Aaron lifts his hand, wrapping it around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. “A woman won’t make that go away. It will never completely disappear, Louis. I’m sure watching that news report didn’t help, either and probably triggered this episode. All we can do is wait, this isn’t your fault, you were asleep.”
“She trusts me, Aaron. She trusts me to keep her safe at night and I betrayed that.”
Aaron shakes his head. “She trusts you, Louis. That’s a wonderful thing. This was nothing more than an accident. You can’t let it eat you up.”
“What do I do?”
He shrugs. “None of my marriages ever worked out, probably because I never knew what to do, so I won’t give you advice on that. What I can tell you is that she isn’t going to leave you because of this. This was nothing more than an accident.”
I grunt, just as I hear a raspy noise behind me. Turning around, my eyes widen as they crash with Tulip’s gorgeous blue ones. Hurrying to her side, I sink down next to her on the bed.
“Baby,” I choke.
“Not your fault. I tried to wake you up by shouting. I went to you, knowing you were having a nightmare of some kind. I shouldn’t have gotten that close,” she whispers.
Shaking my head, I reach out and cup her cheek in my palm, avoiding her already reddening neck.
“This was all on me, Tullie. I thought they were gone, they’re not.”
I feel her fingers wrap around my wrist and she holds onto me, her eyes watering as she focuses on mine. “Don’t leave me over this, please,” she begs.
Lowering my head, I touch my mouth to hers. “Never, but we may need to rethink our sleeping arrangements.”
“Never,” she breathes against my lips.
Chapter Twenty-Two
TULIP
Louis doesn’t sleep the rest of the evening, in fact, he won’t even lie down next to me in bed, no matter how many times I beg him. Instead, he watches me, as if he’s holding a vigil at my bedside. My throat is sore and I know that my voice will be raspy in the morning, but I’m okay.
Rolling over on to my side, I reach out and wrap my fingers around his wrist, then shift my hand down to lace my fingers with his. Squeezing, I clear my throat, lifting my gaze to meet his downcast one.
“I’m okay,” I finally whisper.
He shakes his head, his eye shifting to the floor, focusing there and not moving. I don’t think that he’s going to say anything, but then he inhales a deep breath before he speaks.
“I could have killed you. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t.”
“But you didn’t. You couldn’t.”
Louis’ eyes lift to meet mine. “I wasn’t myself. I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. I was stuck inside of a dream, so yeah, I could hurt you, Tullie, and next time I probably will. I’ll never be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you again. I don’t know if I’ll be able to cope with what happened earlier.”
Pushing up on my side, I swing my legs around to hang over the edge of the bed and silently slide onto the floor. Reaching out, I wrap my fingers around his forearms and squeeze before l glide my hands up his arms and find his neck.
His eyes never leave mine and the sadness swimming in them, the guilt, it makes my entire body ache at the sight. Shaking my head, I slide my thumb along his bottom lip, tracing his warm mouth.
Louis’ lips turn up into a very sad small smile as his eyes search my own. I know that he’s looking for something in my gaze, maybe anger, maybe something else, but he’s not going to get it.
The only thing he’s going to get from me is pure love and compassion. There is no pity, there is no anger, only tenderness and grace for this man who is aching on the inside and trying too hard to be strong, for me, for his fans, for the whole world.
“Louis,” I call out in a whisper.
“Yeah?”
His voice is a husky grunt and I can’t deny that it’s sexy as shit. “If you need to talk to someone, then you need to talk to someone, but I’m not going anywhere, not unless you want me to. You don’t scare me, nothing about you frightens me. I knew you were dreaming and I made the choice to try and wake you up. It was the wrong one and I knew it, but I did it anyway.”