“Kind of like choosing to be my woman,” he grunts.
I hate the way his confidence is completely shot. I’m not used to that from him. Louis Kingston always carries himself in a way where you know he’s not only comfortable in his body, but also, he’s completely confident in who he is. Everything has been shaken from the inside out and it makes me hurt for him.
“Never,” I whisper. “Being yours could never be a mistake, could never be a wrong choice. Stop that right now.”
Tears fill my eyes and flow down my cheeks at the concept of him thinking that he could be the wrong choice. Though, isn’t that a bit hypocritical? I know that I will not be the woman that he ends up with. I know that I am not the right decision for him simply because I don’t deserve the man that he is as my own.
“Tullie,” he says and I can hear the pain in his voice.
Shaking my head, I lift so that my mouth is resting against his. My tears continue to fall and my entire body trembles as his tongue slips out and tastes them on my lips.
Opening my mouth, I consume his growl as his tongue thrusts inside. His kiss is hard and desperate. He lifts his hand and tangles his fingers in the back of my hair.
My fingers grip the side of his neck, holding on to him tighter than I probably should as I lean forward and melt toward him.
His kiss, it owns me every single time and this time is no different. Louis rips his mouth from mine, resting his forehead against my own as he attempts to catch his breath and I do as well.
“No,” he rasps. “Sex won’t fix this, baby. I can’t, not right now.”
Without another word, he pushes away from me as he stands to his feet. My hands are forced to fall from his neck and my eyes are given no other choice than to follow his body as he stomps out of the room.
The tears that had momentarily stopped begin to flow again. I hate it. I hate watching him leave, knowing that a part of us is now irrecoverably broken. This could be the end before it really ever began.
I want to scream. I want to throw something. Instead, I sit like a pitiful mess and I cry. I watch the door and I wait. The sun rises, but he doesn’t come back. My feet have fallen asleep, and yet, I’m still alone, watching and waiting, wearing nothing but his soft robe to keep me warm.
Slowly the door opens and my heart swells for a moment before my entire body deflates. The trainer, Aaron, makes his way inside.
“Came to check on you, girl,” he announces as he makes his way over to me.
I watch as he extends his hand to help me up. Reluctantly, I slip my palm in his and allow him to help me to my feet. My legs tingle and send shots of pain up and down as they attempt to begin to circulate again.
Hissing, I slowly sit down on the edge of the bed. Aaron doesn’t make small talk as he begins to fiddle with the bag that he’s brought in with him. He practically ignores me as he goes about checking my breathing, touching my neck and checking my blood pressure.
When I think he’s going to pack up his things and leave, he sinks back in the chair that Louis vacated hours ago. Lifting my gaze to meet his, I wait for him to speak.
“Are you in this for more than the fame and fortune? Because honestly, the fortune won’t last forever and the fame will be even less than that.”
His voice is raspy as if he’s smoked a carton of cigarettes a day for the past fifty years. I blink at his words, wondering if I should be offended or completely in awe of his devotion to Louis.
I choose to be in awe of his devotion. There’s no reason for me to be offended, this man doesn’t know me, not in the slightest and if I were him, I would probably ask the same questions.
“Louis is too good for the likes of me. I don’t deserve him. I keep waiting for him to see that, but he keeps telling me that I’m who he wants. I know that one day he’ll wake up, see that I’m just some trashy girl from a small town. He’ll realize that he doesn’t want me forever, but I’m selfish and until then, I want to live in this fantasy. I want to help him too.”
Pressing my lips together, I’m surprised that I’ve said so much, too much really. I shouldn’t have said a word. Not a single fucking word, especially judging by the look that Aaron is wearing as he stares at me, wordlessly.
Aaron clears his throat and nods his head. “That was good enough for me, sweetheart. Welcome to the family,” he announces as he rises to his feet.
“What?” I ask on a whisper.
He smirks, his eyes searching my own. “Louis is a good man, a kindhearted man. I’ve never seen him take to a woman before, not the way he has to you and I wanted to make sure you were worthy of my boy.”
“But I just told you that I wasn’t,” I say as my brows knit together.
He snorts. “That was all I needed to know. He doesn’t feel worthy of you and you don’t of him. All that means is that you’ll spend the rest of your lives trying to make your relationship work. I like that for him.”
Without another word, he turns his back to me and I just stare at him as he shuffles away, closing the door behind him.
Licking my lips, I wonder why he would say what he did. He has decided that I’m good enough for Louis. This man obviously loves him and only wants what’s best for him and he thinks that it could be me… me?
LOUIS
Aaron gives me a wide berth. I’m not dressed for a complete workout. I’ll have to head back upstairs eventually, but I’m not ready to go and face Tulip, yet. I punch the bag in front of me, until I’m too fucking exhausted to do it anymore. I need to get some shorts and shoes on.
My sparring partner, Shawn, is relaxing on the sofa watching television as he waits for me. Aaron grunts and walks away, leaving me alone with him. I don’t talk to him, usually I’m too busy trying to beat the shit out of the quick motherfucker.
“You ever done something in your sleep and felt like shit the next day?” I ask.
Shawn shifts his gaze from the television to me and blinks. “You talkin’ to me?” he asks.
Nodding, I lift my hand and run my palm over my head to collect the sweat there and wipe it down the side of my sweats. It’s too fucking hot in here for these sweatpants. I really need to get my ass upstairs and change, but she’s there, waiting.
“Yeah, I have. Punched my girl right in the fucking face. Gave her a black eye. I was dreaming.” He shrugs.
“How’d you get over that?”
Shawn tilts his head to the side, his eyes roaming over mine and he lifts a shoulder. “I just did. She wasn’t mad at me once she figured out I was sleeping. She forgave me and I allowed her to. It wasn’t easy, knowing that I’d hurt her even if I didn’t do it intentionally. I punished myself a fuck’ve a lot for it.”
“How’d you sleep next to her again?”
He snorts. “I didn’t, not for a couple of nights. Then she just fucking slipped into the guest room next to me. Woke me up and I asked her what the fuck she was doin’. She told me that she couldn’t sleep without me there. Don’t know, but I keep waiting for the shit to break loose again, it hasn’t, and I haven’t hit her since.”
“So, just sitting around fucking hoping you don’t do it again?” I ask.
Nodding, he runs his hand down his face. “Yeah, basically. Tried to go to counseling about it, but all they wanted to do was talk about my feelings and prescribe me pills. Neither worked out too well, so if I’m really tired or agitated, I’ll try and sleep on the couch. She usually don’t let me though.”