Then without another word, he turns and jogs away from my house. My heart clenches, then it does something that I didn’t think was possible anymore. I thought that I had guarded it better than that, but it does it anyway—it cracks.
I take a step back, just enough to slam my door closed, turn around and sink to my ass. Leaning my back against the closed door, I rip open the envelope and tug out the papers. My eyes have already started to water before I can even read whatever the fuck they say.
Everything on the paper is a blur. But I get the gist loud and fucking clear. I’ve lost him. I’ve lost the only chance I’ll ever have at happiness, because believe it or not, the few times that I was with Jesse were the best of my entire life.
I let out a hiccupping sob as I pinch my eyes closed. It’s done. It’s over. He wants nothing to do with me. He’s offering me child support and has requested a visitation agreement, all through his lawyer. He doesn’t even want to see me.
Lowering myself to my side, I curl into a small ball and I cry myself to sleep on the hard tile of my entryway. I stay that way for an entire twenty-four hours. Nobody even knows where I am or what I’m doing. Nobody cares.
JESSE
The text message dings and I don’t even have to look at it to know what it says. I do anyway. My stomach twists at the sight.
HAND DELIVERED
Pinching my eyes closed, I toss my phone to the nightstand and throw my arm over my eyes.
Fuck.
This is the last fucking thing that I wanted. The fact is, I was really fucking excited about Laurie getting knocked up. I was freaked, but once I calmed my ass down, I realized that this would be cool as shit.
Laurie is hot, she’s sweet and she’s a goddamn ace in the sack. I don’t know that there would be a better woman to make mine. She’s so fucking stubborn though, and she won’t even give me a goddamn inch.
My phone starts to dance on my nightstand and I debate not answering it. In the end, I grab it, without looking at the ID.
“Hello,” I bark.
“You sound like hell,” a deep voice that I clearly recognize rumbles.
I grunt, refusing to tell him that I feel like hell, too. I also don’t tell him about the paperwork from my lawyer that a courier took to her place today. It feels like a lie, but it also feels too fucking personal to offer.
“She’s hurtin’, man.”
My gut clenches from his words. “She’s choosing to feel that way, Beau. She’s the one that pushed and pushed until I had no choice but to walk away.”
“Maybe there’s a reason, you think of that?”
I shake my head, knowing damn well that he can’t see me. “I have no doubt that there is. No woman runs that hot then shuts down a man in the next breath for no reason. She won’t give me even an inch, Beau. There’s no breaking through and I don’t know what else to do, not into beating my head against a wall.”
“I get it,” he claims. He doesn’t. He has a woman, one that practically fell at his feet the minute he tried to get back in her life. Laurie is not like that, not at fucking all. “I just hate to see you both regretting this shit.”
“You and me both,” I admit on a whisper.
Beaumont is silent for a moment, then I hear his heavy sigh before he speaks. “I’ll be back in town in a few months and we can schedule recording sessions and shit.”
I tell him that sounds good and am grateful for the shift in conversation. We hang up and I go back to lying on the bed, my arm covering my eyes and wondering if I’m fucking everything up.
Then, I decide that if she wants me, she’s going to have to come to me. I can’t beg her, not anymore. I’ve done more begging with that woman than I ever have, never got so hard for a bitch in my entire goddamn life, either.
Chapter Three
LAURIE
“You’re doing what?” Hutton cries, her lips parted in shock.
Nodding, I shove the papers at her chest. “If he wants me to sign this shit, he’s going to ask me in person. I’m not putting up with this passive-aggressive bullshit the rest of my life,” I snap.
Obviously, I’ve moved on from sad to angry. And I am just that. Straight fucking pissed off. What a pussy. He’s going to face me if he wants me to sign this. Look me in the eyes and tell me that this is what he wants.
“Laurie, I thought this was what you wanted? I think he could have….” Her voice soft and sweet, just like she is, but she doesn’t finish her sentence.
Shaking my head once, I dip my chin to look down at my suede high-heeled ankle booties. God, I know that I shouldn’t be wearing them, but I love them. I love all high heels and I’m wearing them until I can absolutely not wear them a minute longer.
“He could have what?” I demand.
She looks down at the ground, then takes her phone out of her pocket and shoves it toward me. There’s a picture of Jesse and a mystery woman, who is barely clothed, on his balcony.
Lifting my gaze back up to meet hers, I look directly in Hutton’s eyes. “I want what you have with Beau. I want what Channing and Exeter have. I want what Tulip and Louis are working toward. I want it all. I want everything.”
Tears fill my eyes and I hate that. Hutton has never seen me cry, not ever. She doesn’t even know everything about my life. We’ve known each other for years, but I’ve kept most of what went on in my life from her. She has not a single fucking clue. She thinks I’m just her wild, boy crazy, sex-obsessed friend.
Hutton reaches for me, wrapping her fingers around my forearm and squeezes gently. “Then you should have it, all of it. Is Jesse the one you want it with, truly?”
Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I jerk my head in a small nod. “No man has ever made me feel the way that he does. I’m going to get to the bottom of this picture,” I snap before giving her phone back to her.
“Then don’t you dare give up without a fight.”
Wrapping my arms around her shoulders, I pull her in for a hug. My big belly and her small one gets in the way and we giggle. “I’m not going down that easily. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know that I’ll hate myself if I don’t truly try.”
Hutton’s lips turn up into a grin. “Go and get your man,” she whispers.
“You know this is going to be embarrassing as shit, right?”
She shrugs a shoulder and lifts her hand with a small wave. “I’d rather be embarrassed than live with regret.”
My eyes lift to meet hers and I jerk my chin in a nod. “Which is the only reason I’m even doing this.”
Her lips curve up and she sucks in a breath. “You got this. You’re the strongest woman that I know.” She hands me the papers that I’d shoved at her chest and I let out a long exhale.
Turning away from her, I don’t say anything else, gripping the bullshit papers in my hand, I make my way to my car.
Starting my engine, I lift my gaze to her. She’s no longer alone, Beaumont is at her back, watching me. If I had to guess, he probably heard everything. I just hope that he doesn’t go running to Jesse, because I’m going to catch that asshole off guard.