JESSE
The maid cleans around me. I don’t know her name, never have, but I hired her because she was hot. God, I’m such a dick. She flounces around in her short exercise shorts with the bottom of her ass cheeks hanging out and a sports bra that barely contains her tits.
My eyes follow her, but my cock doesn’t even twitch. Swear to fuck my dick is broken. I’ve been drinking since Beaumont called me two days ago. I shouldn’t be drinking. I should be practicing, writing music, doing anything but being a lazy fuck having a goddamn pity party.
“Is there anything else you need, Mr. Morales,” she breathes, leaning over a little too far. She did this same shit a couple days ago when I was trying to drink myself to oblivion on my balcony.
“Nope,” I snap.
She nods, licking her artificially plumped lips and smirks. “Just call me, night or day and I’ll be here to give you a helping hand,” she purrs.
Lifting my hand, I wave her off. I won’t be calling her, not ever. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back against the chair and bring my bottle to my lips. I hear the door open then close. A few seconds later, the door opens and closes again.
I wait to see what she wants, if maybe she forgot something, but she doesn’t call out or say a single word.
That is.
Until I hear a voice that I didn’t anticipate hearing for a hell of a long time. “Your girlfriend looks like a hooker.”
My eyes open, my head lifts and it happens so fast that I feel light-headed. I think that maybe it’s a dream, so I blink. But it’s not. She’s here, standing in my living room, her arms crossed right beneath her chest, her belly, fuck. Her belly is even bigger than it was the last time I saw her and it’s so fucking breathtaking. It’s beautiful, just like she is.
“Not my girlfriend,” I rasp.
“Are you drunk, at three in the afternoon?” she asks, narrowing her gaze on me.
Jerking my chin, I shrug a shoulder at the same time. “Not much else I got goin’ on at the moment.”
“You’re a dick,” she snaps before she tosses an envelope on my lap.
Looking at the envelope, I wince before lifting my gaze back up to her. “How’d you get here? Why are you here?”
She presses her lips together before she speaks. “Because I’m an idiot,” she whispers. “I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable, but here I am, and I knew it would bite me in the ass. I did it anyway, because I’m an idiot.”
Chapter Four
LAURIE
Jesse blinks, but he doesn’t say anything. I don’t think that his mind is working very quickly. He really is trashed and judging by the smell emanating from him, he’s been in this state for at least two, maybe three days.
He tries to stand, but can’t gain his bearings and ends up falling back on his ass in the chair. I watch as he grips the armrests with a growl.
“Next time you want to give me something like that,” I snap, pointing at the envelope in his lap. “You do it in person like a man. Never send a courier like that again, you pussy.”
Turning from him, I start to walk away, but I don’t get far. I don’t know how, but Jesse got his ass up and is now pressing his chest to my back while his hands gently grasp my biceps. Goosebumps break out all over my body when I feel his lips touch the side of my neck.
“Jesse,” I breathe.
His hands slide down my arms, then make their way to my belly, cupping my rounded stomach, his hands open and expand over my entire belly.
“Don’t walk away, babe. Don’t take yourself away from me,” he breathes against my skin.
Shaking my head, I pinch my eyes closed, trying to fight back my tears. “I can’t do this.”
“What, Laurie?”
Inhaling a trembling breath, I let it out, shakily. “This, all of this. I can’t open myself up and have you hurt me. I can’t do it.”
Jesse’s fingers flex against my belly, his tongue snaking out to taste my neck and my knees knock, my thighs tremble at the sensation. Leaning back against him, I lift one of my hands and wrap my fingers around the back of his neck.
Turning my head to the side, I touch my lips to the underside of his three-week-old scruffy jaw. “Jesse,” I breathe.
It’s an innocent moment, but I know the promise that his hands and mouth hold—the promise his body holds. I want all that is promised, too. I want to keep him and I’m afraid that I could really be too late.
“You make me fucking miserable, Laurie,” he mumbles against my skin, his voice slightly slurred. “But I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you, too. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
Turning around in his arms, I wrap one of my hands around the side of his neck, the other I place on the center of his chest.
“I’ve never done this before.”
“What?” he asks, looking completely fucking lost. I just hope that he remembers this tomorrow, because I refuse to say this shit again. Not ever again.
Focusing my gaze on his, I bite the inside of my cheek before I tell him. “I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never chased a man. I’ve never wanted anyone to get too close.”
“What are you scared of?” he asks.
I shrug a shoulder, even though I know exactly what I’m terrified of. I’m not scared, I’m downright terrified. He searches my gaze, but I don’t give it away, not yet. I have to be able to trust him and right now, I don’t even trust myself, let alone anyone else.
“Everything,” I breathe.
JESSE
Tilting my head to the side, I touch my mouth to hers. I’m sure I taste like the booze I’ve been drinking, but I don’t care. Laurie is here, right in front of me. She’s fucking real and she’s opening herself up in a way I honestly believe she’s never done before.
“I’m not going anywhere, babe,” I rasp.
“Oh yeah?” she asks, arching a brow. “That letter you had delivered would suggest otherwise.”
Searching his gaze with my own, I press my lips together. “I didn’t know what else to do. I was at a fucking loss. You made it clear you didn’t want me, didn’t want us.”
“I’m an idiot.”
I snort. “No, you’re scared shitless. Me too. Let’s be scared together.”
“I can try. You have to be patient.”
My lips twitch and I’m sure that she’s going to be pissed at me, but since my filter is completely gone, I say it anyway. “You stay in my bed, you fuck me the way I like, I can be patient as shit.”
“You’re disgusting,” she breathes, but her eyes dilate and I know that’s what she wants too.
Grinning, I chuckle before I speak. “You love it, babe.”
“I don’t love the fact that you’ve been fucking other women while I’ve been back in Texas,” she snaps, her attitude changing in the blink of an eye.
Frowning, I tilt my head to the side as she takes a step back, her eyes no longer soft and hazy, they’re now full of sexy as fuck fire.