The next morning, after a night of tossing and turning and thinking about James and how much I already missed him, I got in my jeep and started for the city. Every time I considered turning back, I remembered our last morning together and the sound of his sleepy voice in my ear murmuring, “I wish I could wake up to that every morning.”
I had that same wish.
Which is how I found myself on James’s front stoop later that afternoon. Unsurprisingly no one was home, and I waited. Sometimes sitting, but most the time pacing. I’d just reached the end of my loop and turned to pace back when I stuttered to a stop, my breath catching in my throat. There he was. He wore a dark navy suit that showed off the narrowness of his waist and the length of his legs. He’d taken the jacket off and held it casually over his shoulder with one finger. In his other hand he held his phone pressed to his ear. Familiar lines marred the skin between his eyebrows, and I itched to reach out to him and press my fingers against them, smoothing them away.
I could tell from his expression and tone of voice that it was a business call, but he wasn’t yet near enough for me to make out any of the actual words. The closer he came, the more my heart thundered until the rush of blood through my veins was the only noise I could hear. I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry and my stomach alight with nerves.
He was so deep in concentration when he reached the steps to his brownstone that he almost walked right past me. But then he froze. His eyes met mine. The hand holding the phone slowly dropped away. He frowned. “Sawyer?”
I smiled, hoping it didn’t appear as strained as it felt.
“What are you—”
We could both hear the voice through the phone calling James’s name. Absently he raised it to his ear and said, “I’ll call you back in the morning,” before hanging up. We stood there a moment, neither of us saying anything, just staring at each other.
“Um, hi?” I offered.
His suit jacket and phone clattered to the ground as he reached for me. And then his mouth was on mine. His hands came up to cup my cheeks, and I could feel a tremble in his fingertips. He kissed me like he was starving, and I responded in kind, our tongues tangling. His taste was so familiar, the smell of him so comforting that it made my heart ache.
Eventually he pulled back, his hands still on my face, holding me close enough that our foreheads almost touched. “You’re here.”
I smiled. “I am.”
“Why?”
I’d spent the entire five-hour drive down here drafting a speech in my head for this moment, but suddenly the words left my head. I cast about, desperate for something to say, and ultimately decided to just tell the truth. “Because I missed you.”
He grinned. “I missed you too.”
But that wasn’t all. I drew a deep breath, telling him the rest of it. “And because I want you. I want… us.”
James pulled his head back so that his eyes could meet mine. For a moment he said nothing, and I was sure he must be able to hear the pounding of my heart in the silence between us. His thumb traced along my cheekbone. “Oh Sawyer, I’ve never wanted anything more.”
My eyes fluttered shut at the sound of my name on his lips. I was so relieved, that all the fears and stress I’d let build up during the drive down came pouring out in a tidal wave of babbling. “I know we just met and there’s still so much about each other that we don’t know and a lot to figure out, like the fact that you live in the city and I… I don’t really exactly know where I’m going to live now that we’re selling the inn, but I’ll have money and maybe I can rent a place and—”
He brushed his lips over mine, quieting me. “We’ll figure it out,” he murmured against me. “Together,” he added, nuzzling my throat and kissing his way toward my collar. My skin felt like it was on fire it was so sensitive, his every touch igniting goose bumps along my arms. If we didn’t get off the street soon, I was afraid I might drag him down to the steps then and there and have my way with him.
Before I could suggest moving inside, his phone vibrated from the pavement at our feet. “Ignore it,” he said, his mouth back on mine. A few seconds later, it began vibrating again. The third time it happened, he ripped his mouth from mine with an aggravated growl and swiped it off the ground.
His eyes darkened at the name on the screen, and he answered with a curt “Now’s not the time.”
I couldn’t hear what the person on the other side said, but suddenly James frowned, the worry lines reappearing between his eyebrows. “Fuck. The gala.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Shit. I totally forgot. Hold on.” He placed his hand over the phone and glanced toward me. “I have this thing I’m supposed to go to tonight.”
I felt like an idiot. I should have expected that he might have other plans for the night. “Oh. Right. Of course,” I said, shuffling backward. “Yeah, you go on ahead and I’ll, um… figure out… something else to do I guess.”
He reached out a finger, hooking it through one of my belt loops to keep me from retreating. “I want you to come with me. As my date.” The corner of his mouth curled up into a sexy as hell smile. “As my boyfriend.”
21
James
Seeing my brownstone through Sawyer’s eyes was unexpected.
“What the hell is that?” he asked with a laugh, pointing to the vase of metal spikes on the foyer table. I ignored him and rushed him past it toward the stairs.
“Who cares? Let’s start with the bedroom. More fun than the foyer. I promise.”
When we got to the next floor, he stopped and gawped at a black-and-white photograph on the wall. “Is this… is this a…?”
It was an original Ansel Adams that Richard had given me as an anniversary gift. I’d tried getting him to take it when he left since it kind of gave me the creeps, but he’d insisted it was a gift. “Yes. But just a small one. Moving on.”
As I continued to nudge him toward the next level, he asked more questions. “Where do you keep the comfortable sofa? That thing looks like it hurts to sit on.”
“I don’t spend any time in there,” I murmured, leaning in to inhale the familiar sea salt smell of him. “I’m mostly in my office.”
He turned to me with bright eyes. “Can I see it? Your office?”
I stopped with a foot lifted on the next step. Now that Sawyer was here, I needed to calm down. We had time. Not much time, considering he needed a tux for tonight, but I didn’t need to give him the feeling I only wanted him for sex when that was the furthest thing from the truth.
“Sure, come this way,” I said, taking his hand in mine and reversing direction. When I entered my study and turned on the light switch, the room was flooded with warm light from several lamps instead of an overhead fixture. The blankets I’d been using to sleep under were thrown in a ball at the end of the old, battered leather sofa and my Drag Queen Deadpool coffee mug from Comic-Con was still sitting next to my computer from earlier that morning. “Sorry,” I said, trying to straighten up some of the clutter on my desk. “I’m not used to anyone else coming in here.”