“Why?” I asked before I could stop myself.
Dick Sr. frowned, clearly displeased by the question. “It’s time Richard took his place in the company.” His eyes narrowed. “Is there a problem with that?”
I opened my mouth to say more but felt Richard’s hand land on my shoulder, squeezing tight in a warning. “You already know we make a great team, Dad. We won’t disappoint.”
“Make sure that you don’t,” Dick Sr. said sternly. But his eyes were on me, as if I was the one he expected to fail. I realized in that moment exactly what challenge Dick Sr. had laid down—this wasn’t just about the Cape deal, or even about the job. This was about Richard. He was tired of Richard squandering his future, spending his time partying and flitting from job to job.
He wanted Richard to settle down and follow in his father’s footsteps, eventually running the family empire. And he expected me to make that happen.
I felt like there was something more I should say, but before I could Richard grabbed my arm, practically dragging me to the door. “We’ll see you at the gala tomorrow night,” he told his dad as we left. “Won’t we, James?” he added, digging an elbow into my ribs until I absently nodded.
I let Richard pull me from the office, feeling disoriented. I’d gone into that meeting expecting praise and congratulations, but instead it had seemed like the Cape project had become just another afterthought. When he’d given me the assignment, Dick Sr. had claimed the resort would become a crown jewel for Dunning Capital, but now it looked like he’d just turned it into a training exercise for his son.
We’d barely reached the elevator when I turned to Richard. “What the fuck was that all about?”
He blew out a long breath. For the first time I noticed a weariness around his eyes. “I’m sorry, I should have told you. Dad started giving me a hard time about you and I breaking up and how he’d seen you as my future and what kind of life did that leave me with and he started to threaten to cut me off—”
I rolled my eyes. “He’s always threatening to cut you off.”
He turned to me, and his expression made it clear that he was genuinely worried. “This time he sounded serious. I’ve got to stop fucking up. I can’t disappoint him again.”
I blew out a breath. This was the Richard that few people ever saw—one who could be vulnerable and lost. I may not have loved him anymore, but I still cared about him and wanted the best for him.
“Have you ever thought that maybe getting cut off wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world?” I asked him.
He barked out a laugh. “I would make a terrible poor person.”
“But you could do it,” I told him.
We’d reached the lobby, and he turned to face me. “I’m not you, James. I wasn’t raised with nothing. I’ve never had to work for what I have. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
I thought about what Sawyer had asked me, about what I would do if I was forced out of my comfort zone. I realized that in all my years dating Richard, I’d never really asked him what he wanted in life—truly. “If you could live any life, what would it look like?”
“A white-sand beach, a harem of hot men, and a bottomless liquor cabinet,” he immediately said. But it was a flip answer, an easy one.
“I’m serious,” I pressed.
He grinned. “So am I.”
I just looked at him, waiting. His grin slowly dissolved. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe you should figure that out,” I said gently.
He frowned, weary creases appearing at the corners of his eyes. For a moment he seemed to seriously think about the question. Then he shrugged. “What does it even matter? My father’s made it clear what kind of life he expects me to lead, and if I want to stay in his good graces, that’s what I’ll do.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” I said.
“In my world, it does.”
I opened my mouth and started to argue, but he cut me off. “What about you, James? What life do you want to live?”
“I’m already living it,” I answered automatically.
He lifted an eyebrow, making it clear he didn’t buy my answer.
“I am,” I said more forcefully.
He clapped a hand on my shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that, James,” he said, before walking away, leaving me standing alone in the lobby to his father’s building.
And I did keep telling myself that, to the point that I almost had myself convinced.
20
Sawyer
I spent that evening at the pub unable to get thoughts of James out of my mind. I was so distracted that I accidentally swapped two of the keg lines, rang up the first three dinner orders incorrectly, and completely failed at updating the specials board. Finally, as I stood at the bar trying to remember the proportions for a proper Sazerac, Karlie rolled her eyes at me and elbowed me out of the way to fix it herself.
“What’s up with you tonight?” she grumbled as she pulled a bottle of rye from the well.
“Nothing,” I answered automatically.
She turned and fisted a hand on her hip, tilting her head at me with that “we both know you’re lying, so out with it” expression. She was going to make an excellent mother. “Spill,” she commanded.
“I’m fine,” I promised. Hoping to evade further questioning, I managed to pull the rest of the drink order together and get it delivered. On my way back behind the bar, Karlie looped her elbow through mine and hauled me into the back room. She parked herself in the doorway, effectively trapping me.
For a moment she studied me, her eyes narrowed and lips pursed. I crossed my arms, staring her down.
“It’s that lawyer, isn’t it?” she finally asked.
I was so startled that she’d guessed correctly that I didn’t immediately respond, which apparently confirmed her suspicions. She sighed and leaned against the doorjamb, rubbing a hand absently over her expanding belly. “That’s what I thought.”
“It’s no big deal,” I told her. “There’s not even anything going on between us.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Not from what I saw of the two of you together.”
I felt my cheeks heat. “Fine,” I admitted, “I’m physically attracted to him. You happy?”
“Given the way that man looked at you, the feeling’s mutual,” she pointed out, laughing.
I felt like a teenager with a crush, wanting to ask her to elaborate. “It doesn’t matter. He left for New York this morning after closing the deal on the Sea Sprite.”
“Then why are you here?”
I blinked at her. “Because it’s my night to take closing shift? Where else would I be?”
“On your way to New York to hunt that man down,” she said like it was obvious.
I almost choked at the suggestion. Even though the thought of it sent my heart racing, it was a nonstarter. “What’s the point? I’m telling you, Karlie, it was just physical between us. A one-night stand, that’s all.”
“More like multiple-night stand,” she said, rolling her eyes. “How did you leave things when you said goodbye?”