'Yes!'
'Ah. Does this help?' With a little pop, the gnome vanished, replaced by a dog. It was a small, terrier type dog, the same color as the gnomes hair had been, and its amber eyes still gleamed with trouble.
'Skop...' I tried to remember the name he had told me.
'Skoptolis,' said a voice inside my head. This time I did drop the clothes in surprise at hearing its voice inside my skull. 'Hello?' the voice said again, and I stared down at the dog wriggling out from under the green dress I'd just dropped on top of him. 'Is this better?' He wagged his tail.
'Yes,' I said slowly, staring at him. 'But...'
'If you want me to stay in an animal form, then I'll have to talk to you like this.'
'It's weird,' I said, frowning. 'You're in my head.'
'Then I'll go back to my normal form-' he started, but I waved my hands.
'No! No, stay like that, please.' I'd rather a wagging tail than a wagging gnome knob. 'What are you?' I asked him.
'A kobaloi.'
'Are you, by any chance, a randy sprite?'
'I have my moments,' he answered, tail wagging faster as he leapt up onto the bed beside me. I automatically reached out to stroke his fur, then paused. Was that weird? He's not actually a dog, he's a naked, hairy gnome, I reminded myself. 'If you put that red thing on, you'll find out just how randy I can be.' I snatched my hand back.
'Then I'll go with the green,' I muttered, scooping the clothes up off the floor as I stood up. I strode to the washroom with the green dress, and heard Skoptolis jump to the floor behind me. 'Erm, where are you going?' I said, turning to him.
'I have to guard you.'
'In my own bathroom?'
'Yup.'
'No way.' The dog wagged its tail faster as I glared into his eyes.
'But you've seen all my bits and bobs,' he protested, his mental voice still light and laughing, like that damned feather I'd chosen.
'I don't care, you're not seeing mine!' I exclaimed.
'Please? I bet they're really nice.'
I rolled my eyes.
'Not a fucking chance,' I said sternly. 'Now wait here, you pervert.'
'You can call me Skop,' he said, tail still wagging furiously.
'Whatever,' I grumbled and slammed the door shut behind me.
I stepped back out of my washroom in the green dress a few minutes later, and jumped when I saw Hecate sitting on the edge of my bed and scowling at Skop, who was back in naked gnome form.
'Dionysus is a jerk,' she said, looking up at me.
'Let me guess,' I grinned. 'Don't tell him you said that.'
'Exactly,' she answered, with another grimace at Skop.
'I thought we'd agreed on something furry,' I said to him.
'I can make this furry if you want,' he beamed, reaching down.
'Put that the fuck away!' snapped Hecate, and the kobaloi gave an infectious giggle, before shifting back into dog form. 'What was that drunken idiot thinking, sending you a kobaloi as a guard?' she said, shaking her head.
'He was thinking that you were far more likely to need cheering up than guarding,' Skop said in my head, and I couldn't help but warm to him, and Dionysus, a little.
'Who knows,' I shrugged. 'I still don't know why I need a guard at all.'
'Me either. Anyway, I have good news.' I quirked an eyebrow at her as she clapped her hands together. 'I have convinced Hades to give you a new room. A new room, above ground.'
Gratitude hit me all in a rush and I flung my arms around Hecate without thinking. She gave an awkward squeak. 'There's a catch!' I let go and narrowed my eyes at her. 'It's not normal for contestants to be given the finest rooms in the Underworld. So you're going to need to earn it. Publicly. To avoid awkward questions.'
'Right,' I said, slowly.
'There will be another Trial. This evening. If you win, you can have the new room.'
'OK. Sounds fair,' I said, anxiety and anticipation skittering through me.
'Also, you have to have lunch with Hades.' She spoke so fast I almost didn't catch her words.
'What?' My stomach twisted as I gaped at her. 'When?'
'Now. Have fun!' she said, and the world flashed white once more.
Twelve
'Damn Hecate,' I hissed, as I gazed around at the room I was in, heart racing as I tried to take it in. It reminded me of a church, massive vaulted ceilings stretching above me, all made from white marble. Intricate weaving patterns ran down the stone everywhere, depicting vines and plants and flowers, butterflies flitting amongst everything. Huge drapes, at least twenty feet tall, lined the two longest sides of the room. In the center was a large table laid for two, next to a circular raised platform. The platform was empty and something about it seemed wrong. Really wrong.
I stepped closer to it, frowning as a hollow feeling spread through my gut, something akin to grief pulling at me. Why would an empty platform make me feel such a sense of loss? Giving up on trying to work out the unsettling feeling, I turned to the table. There was nothing remarkable about it, except that it was a little large for two and dressed beautifully. There was, however, something remarkable about the two chairs drawn up to it. Just like the grand thrones I had seen in the fiery throne room, these were decorated with skulls and roses. But where the thrones were bold and intimidating, these were elegant and stunning. And even more interestingly, they both had skulls and roses carved into the rich mahogany wood. The vines of the roses twisted around the skulls seamlessly on both chairs, and something about the pattern felt oddly satisfying. The two elements were drawn together perfectly, displaying the angry skulls and the fierce roses as equally dangerous and beautiful. They were nothing like the angry thrones.
As I reached out to touch the wood of the closest chair, a voice spoke sharply behind me.
'How did you get in here?'
I whirled around, starting at the words, then feeling a violent shiver rock though me as I saw the smoky form of Hades.
'Hecate sent me here. With the white-light-flashy thing you all do,' I said too quickly, trying to swallow the fear that leapt up inside me. 'I assumed you were expecting me.'
He let out a sigh, the smoke rippling around him.
'That woman needs to learn to meddle less.'
'Oh. Should I go?' I asked hopefully. The smoke rippled, and I caught the briefest flash of silver eyes.
'You shouldn't be here at all.'
'I didn't ask to be,' I snapped, unable to help myself. 'Why would I want to be in a place with no outside?' The smoky form rippled again.
'The Underworld is no place for you.' His voice was cold and harsh.
'Then send me home,' I said, my palms suddenly sweating at the thought that he could actually send me back. Please, please send me home.
'I can't,' he hissed, and the temperature suddenly shot up. 'My bully of a brother has spoken.' At the word bully, my fear receded slightly, and I cocked my head. Hades felt bullied? That couldn't be right. How could a king be bullied?
'Why don't you stand up to him?' I asked, the brazen words almost failing me as I spoke them. The temperature soared again as smoke billowed from him.