I glared at her, feeling a frisson of satisfaction as the confident look on her face flickered. I didn't think I'd ever intimidated anyone in my life before. But then I'd never looked or felt like this before either.
'I've been kidnapped, told my whole life was a lie and that I had a husband I didn't know existed. If that isn't bad enough, you now want me to compete to marry the same man who already decided NOT to be married to me once before, in order to live in a world full of dead things when all I've wanted to do my whole life is grow things.'
I stood up from the stool, aware of the increasing pitch and volume of my voice and not caring one bit. 'How the fuck do you expect me not to ask you questions?'
'Calm down,' Hecate said quietly.
'Calm down? Are you insane? Of course you are! You live in hell and can conjure wine, why the fuck am I even talking to you?' I wheeled around, squeezing my eyes closed and pressing my hands to my face again. I was close to losing it, and I could feel the panic squeezing my chest. 'I'm not doing the Trials. I don't want to be here. I don't want anything to do with a creature who is surrounded by death, who embodies death.' Tears were burning the back of my eyes, and I squeezed them shut tighter. 'This is a fucking nightmare, please, let me out. Let me leave.' I didn't know who I was asking, I just desperately wanted the plea to come true. 'I can't stay here.' This was worse than school. This was worse than being taunted and called trailer trash and having stupid shit thrown at me. This was worse than Ted Hammond breathing down my neck, pawing and groping at me. Those bodies on fire, the smell of the blood, the paralyzing fear...
'I'm sorry, Persephone. You have to compete.' Hecate's voice sounded strained and sad behind me. 'I'm going to send you to sleep now. I'll wake you before the first Trial.'
'No, please-' I said, whipping around to face her, but I lost consciousness before she even came into view.
I blinked and the world around me came blearily into view. I was in a bed, on a soft mattress, and a thick downy comforter was weighing down on me, covering my whole head. It felt cozy rather than smothering though, and I gripped it in my hands and wrapped it tighter around myself as the memories of the last few hours crashed over me like a wave. A hard lump formed in my throat as realization settled heavy within my heart. Now that the panic, the adrenaline, the mild hysteria was temporarily at bay, I knew with one hundred percent certainty that when I sat up and swung my legs out of bed, I would still be in this fucked up reality instead of my own. I knew this was real. As unlikely as it was, something in deep in my core, maybe even in my soul if I had such a thing, knew it.
'Shit,' I muttered. 'Shit, shit, shit.' What would I do now? I thought about Athena's words. I was supposed to let go and move on. Hecate said I had to compete in the Trials. To marry the Lord of the Underworld. I shuddered. I couldn't marry that monster. No fucking way. I mean, he was made of smoke for Christ's sake! Those deep silver eyes shimmered into my mind.
You were married to him once. How? How was that even possible? I couldn't have loved him. He was freaking terrifying. And although I didn't consider myself as a total wimp, I wasn't exactly the sadist type, into blood and torture. My mind flashed to what sex with a man made of smoke and death would be like. Probably significantly more kinky than I was used to. Stop it, I chided myself.
All I had to do was not win the Trials. Then I wouldn't have to marry him. And in all probability, I wouldn't be winning anything anyway. What would happen after I lost the Trials? Would I stay here in this world? Or get to go back to New York? I supposed either would be better than staying in the underworld. Did they employ gardeners in Olympus?
I lay still in the bed, refusing to peek out from the covers as I weighed up my options. One thing I kept coming back to was that panic and denial were unlikely to do me much good. If I had to fight, as Hecate had suggested I would, then I might face danger. Which meant being strong. Something I wasn't especially good at. I was good at avoiding fights, not getting into them. But I didn't want to be an easy target, not because mom and dad couldn't afford a house this time, but because I was human, and weaker than everyone else. I couldn't deal with that. Not again. It had taken six years to reach a point where I felt I could hold my own in New York. Six years to build up the confidence to follow my dreams, and actually make progress. Six years to reach a point where I could confidently turn down arrogant pretty-boys when they sleazed on me. Zeus's face filled my mind, merging with Ted Hammond's, and I scowled. No way was that happening again I thought, screwing my face up into the pillow, defiance buoying me. No fucking way.
Hecate said I used to have good dresses. And powers. I doubted I was ever as badass as she clearly was, but Poseidon had called me dangerous. Maybe instead of worrying about what had happened I should take Athena's advice, and forget about finding out what had occurred in the past and move on - become a new kind of dangerous. A new Persy, whom none of them wanted to fuck with. Especially that purple-eyed asshole, Zeus.
'Knock, knock?' came a questioning voice at the door, and I took a deep breath.
'Yeah?' I called, and reluctantly pulled the comforter from over my head.
'Good, you're up,' said Hecate, walking into the room through a massive mahogany door. I was in a windowless room, the walls all painted a rich navy blue and the ceiling giving off that same daylight glow that the dressing room walls had. I looked about, taking in the old-fashioned but expensive-looking wardrobe and dressing table, and the cabinet lined with glass bottles of colored liquids.
'Is that a bar?'
'Yes.'
'Good,' I said, and kicked the covers off. I made my way over to the grand little cabinet and poured some amber liquid from a square decanter into one of the two empty glasses.
'Do you want to know what that is before you drink it?' asked Hecate, but I shook my head, and tipped it down my throat. It burned, and my eyes began to water, but it was exactly what I needed. Fire in my belly, I thought, breathing through my teeth. I needed fire in my belly.
'Please can you dress me in the most badass thing I used to own?' I asked Hecate, looking at her. 'I'm done freaking out.'
'Boy am I glad to hear you say that,' she beamed at me, eyes flashing. 'And badass is exactly the style you want, as you're about to fight a demon.'
My fierce new resolve wobbled as I looked at her.
'A... demon?'
'Yes, but a low grade one as it's your first Trial. Trust me, they're not hard to put on their ass.'
'Hecate, the last time I fought anyone was Sam, fifteen years ago.'
'Who's Sam?'
'My brother. At least, I thought he was my brother,' I answered, sadness hitting me in the gut like a physical punch. 'I guess I won't see him again,' I whispered.
'When you're married to Hades you can do whatever the hell you like, so don't worry about it,' she said dismissively. The silver covering her ears shone as she shrugged. I opened my mouth to tell her that I would be doing whatever it took to avoid marrying Hades, but closed it again. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to share all my plans just yet. And if I managed to pull them off I wouldn't have to lose my brother.