The dam inside me bursts open and I sink back into the elevator, supported by the metal walls that have far more life vibrating within it that I currently do. A wail escapes me as I fall to my knees, clutching my chest, fighting desperately to catch a breath.
How could he do this to me?
How could he do this to us?
The doors ding open on the third floor and a woman starts to enter. “Get out!” I yell and she jumps back, completely startled by what I’m sure looks like a deranged maniac having a meltdown in the elevator. She can go screw herself. I don’t need any witnesses.
The second the doors open on the ground floor, I burst from the elevator and run for the lobby exit. I need to put miles of distance between myself and this god-forsaken place.
“Beth, wait!” Maverick’s voice cuts through the air. He’s on the other end of the room, still trying to lessen the distance between us. My legs are in control and they want to protect me…from him…from myself and so I run. I run fast. Faster than I’ve ever run in my life.
I sprint across the parking lot and onto the sidewalk. If the heaviness of Maverick’s footfalls is anything to go by, I know that he’s getting closer. That urges me to push even harder. To run even faster. But the further I run, the closer he gets and before long, he’s completely demolished the distance between us.
Icy fingers grip my elbow, spinning me around. He’s wearing a shirt now. Pants, too. But still, the image of him in nothing but his boxers, staring up at the half naked bitch is seared into my mind. It’s all I see. All I fucking see. Maverick’s face looks red from the exertion and I can see the tornado behind his eyes. He’s spinning out of control. Good for him!
“Let go of me!” I growl, wrenching my hand away from his. “Don’t you dare touch me! Don’t you fucking touch me.”
“Beth please, let me explain,” he starts to plead.
My heart is racing, pounding wildly against my chest and his face is just a blur to me behind the fog of my tears.
I need to get away from him. I need to leave now!
There’s nothing to explain. I may be stupid, but I’m certainly not fucking blind and if he doesn’t get away from me, I may very well shove him into oncoming traffic and not give half a fuck about what happens next.
“Get away from me you lying piece of shit.” My palms crash against his chest and I push hard. Maverick is as solid as a rock, and as determined as a fool. He’s caught my wrist in his hand and he’s pulling me against him, trying to wrap me in his arms. I fight him. I fight him like my life depends on it. I fight him like I should have fought him the very first time he came within an inch of my heart.
“Beth please, I swear. I swear it’s not what it looked like,” he says.
Did he really run all this way to delivery such a cheesy bullshit clichéd line? Just what kind of dimwit does he take me for?
The one who he was able to wrap around his fingers for the last few weeks, that’s what. The words are loud and clear as I hear my inner self-righteousness return to give me the “I told you so” speech. I should have listened. I guess that’ll be charted off as a lesson learned. If he looks like the devil, smiles like the devil, talks and walks and fucks like the devil, he probably is nothing less than the fucking devil.
“I said let me go!” I throw the words at him and launch my fists into his chest without reservation. I know I’m hurting him, but it has to pale in comparison to the bullet I just took to my heart. I can feel myself bleeding out on the concrete pavement as I struggle to free myself from him in every way.
“No,” he growls. “She blindsided me and-”.
I hate him so much it hurts.
“Let me go, Maverick!”
“Not until you let me explain.”
“There’s nothing you have to say…there’s nothing you can possibly say to me that I want to hear. Nothing!”
“Baby please,” his voice sounds ragged, rough, desperate. I hate that a part of me wants to not believe the truth my eyes have seen and listen to the shakiness of his voice for proof that he actually cares about me.
When he pulls me into his arms again, my back tremors against his chest. I scream, cursing him to let me go. Begging him to let me go. Needing to be held, but not wanting to be held by him.
My tears continue to fall. I haven’t felt pain like this in a very long time and I hate that it’s Maverick that I let put me back in this place.
I shake my head, trying to free myself from his clutches, but he has me all wound up in every way imaginable.
“Nothing happened with her,” he growls and it’s like poking the embers of a dying fire.
My rage re-ignites and my elbow connects with his torso at so sharp an angle that I hear his breath hitch before he involuntarily lets me go. I spin around to glare at him, my mascara running down my cheeks in the streaks they’ll collect in ink bottles and use to write the tragedy of my life.
Christ! I’m such an idiot!
“I trusted you.” My voice breaks as I try to stay planted and upright on the sidewalk. “I fucking trusted you.”
“Beth-”
“Don’t!” I point my finger up to his face and I can see the weakness in me despite my scorching defiance.
Maverick’s jaw flexes and his eyes darken, but he doesn’t swat my hand away.
“You mean nothing to me,” I shout and he takes a slight step back as though I’ve thrown my words into his arms unexpectedly and they weigh a ton.
“You don’t mean that.” A look of something almost pitiful crosses his face and the darkness in me rushes out to wrap its tentacles around his neck and take him down with me.
“You mean nothing to me and I mean nothing to you. You fucked me and then you fucked me up. There’s nothing more to it than that.”
“Beth-”
“No you just shut the hell up okay? Just shut the hell up! You can free yourself from the burden that I must have been to you. The yolk around your neck. The wrecking ball crashing through your prissy flat walls. You can go back to being the soulless asshole I always thought you were and take your plastic bombshells with cruel intentions along with you.”
“Stop it!” he yells, taking a step towards me. Instinctively, I step back, recoiling at the mere thought of having those hands anywhere near me again.
“Don’t you fucking touch me. You’ll never touch me again. So leave, Maverick. Just leave. Leave. Leave. Leaaaaave!!!!”
“Bethany, please. Just give me a chance-”
“To do what?! To tell me that nothing happened? That I’m seeing things? To lie to me again?”
My arms are wrapped so tightly around myself I can almost reach inside myself and smooth my hand over the hard surface of my heart that has now cocooned to shield itself.
“I won’t let you lie to me again. You don’t-” My voice breaks and the fight leaves me slowly as my entire body threatens to shatter and join the gravel on the pavement. “I hate you,” I whisper and I hear his breath hitch before his face turns to stone.
He changes back into the Maverick I’ve always known, retreating from the scene of the devastation he has caused.
“I hate you,” I repeat and his lips disappear into a thin line.