“I thought I knew what I was going to say... but now I’m not sure.”
“Because of me?”
“Yes... no. I don’t know. I thought walking away was the right thing to do. I never wanted to come between you and Levi.” My lips curved into a sad smile. “He needs you.”
“And I need you. I know I didn’t handle any of this the right way. I thought I couldn’t have you and keep Levi on the straight and narrow, but I realized something when you left.”
“What?”
“I can’t fix him, Eva. Not if he doesn’t want to fix himself.” He dropped his head to my shoulder and I looped my arms around his back.
“We’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah?” he mumbled. “Does that mean you’re going to tell Alistair and the label you’ll finish the tour?”
Did it?
I’d been almost certain leaving was the right thing to do. I had loved performing, loved the adrenaline pulsing through my veins night after night. But it had been more than that. I’d loved how accepted I felt with the band—like I’d found my place among a bunch of black hearted rock stars. Then there was Letty. She’d become a true friend; someone I knew I could count on no matter what.
But there was also the darker side of fame. The less than friendly fangirls. The constant press reports and rumors. The non-stop pace and pressure. It was a lot to handle, but part of me had thrived on it.
The reality was, being on tour with Black Hearts Still Beat had given me purpose again. And somewhere along the line, I’d come to care about Levi, there was no denying that. But I didn’t care about him the same way as I cared about Rafe. Levi was a star. He walked out onto the stage and you couldn’t help but be entranced. But Rafe... Rafe was the sun. I gravitated to his orbit, all too willing to burn if it meant I could get closer.
“What's going on in that head of yours?” He was staring at me and I hadn’t even realized.
“If I come back, I need to know what happened between the two of you when I left.” My finger ghosted over the bruise on his face. “No more secrets.”
The sound of the front door slamming made me jerk away.
“Honey, I’m home,” Dad’s cheerful lilt drifted into the kitchen. “How was your day sweet—”
“Hey, Dad,” I said, stepping far enough away from Rafe that it looked innocent, but staying close enough to feel him at my side. “This is—”
“I know who he is, Eva. What I don’t understand is what he’s doin’ in my kitchen.”
“Mr. Walker, I’m—”
“Save it. You broke my daughter’s heart, rock star. That is not okay with me.”
“Dad...”
“It’s okay, Eva.” Rafe touched my arm. “Your father is right.”
“Darn right I am. So now would be a good time to tell me why the hell you’re here.” His eyes narrowed.
“I came for Eva.” Rafe cleared his throat and my eyes flickered to him. He smiled weakly but his gaze was full of emotion. “I made a mistake, sir. I love your daughter. I love her more than anything, and I came to ask her... beg her, for another chance.”
Heat flooded me, my cheeks burning as the two men who meant the most to me in the world, faced off against each other. Rafe rose from the stool, stepping forward. “I’ll never forgive myself for hurting Eva, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Mr. Walker, but I risked everything coming here. Because she’s worth it. Eva is worth every damn thing. I love your daughter, sir, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove myself to you, if you’ll just give me another chance.”
The silence was deafening. My dad didn’t blink, he didn’t move. He just stared at Rafe as if he was trying to solve a puzzle.
“One chance,” he said after what felt like an hour. “You get one more chance. I know my daughter, son, and she wouldn’t just willingly hand her heart over to anyone. So I’m going to trust that you’re a good man.”
“Thank you, sir. You won’t regret it, I promise.”
“Yeah, well, you’d better hear me when I say if you hurt her again, I will hunt you down and—”
“Okay, Dad.” I jumped between them, glaring at him. “I think Rafe gets it.”
“He needs to know that you’re my—”
“Dad,” I snapped. “Trust me, he gets it. Now why don’t you go find Mom. Or better yet, I’ll give Rafe the tour, and we’ll join you for dinner later.” I grabbed Rafe’s hand and pulled him toward the door.
“Hang on a minute, Eva,” Dad protested. “I think we need to sit down and talk about this.”
“And we will, later, over dinner.” It would be less tense, less mortifying.
I hoped.
We slipped out of the kitchen and into the yard. It was drastic, escaping out of the back door, but I needed space. Between Mom’s reaction and the look of complete horror in Dad’s eyes when he spotted Rafe sitting there, I needed to regroup.
“So that was my dad,” I said, finally releasing Rafe’s hand and moving away. “I’m sorry he was—”
“Eva.” Rafe stepped forward, rubbing his hands up my arms. “Don’t do that. Don’t apologize for his behavior. I deserve worse.”
“I just... I want them to like you. You’re not a bad guy, Rafe.”
“No, but I made some shitty decisions.”
“You’re here now though.”
“I am.”
We moved closer, like magnets aligning. I craned my neck to look at him, letting my eyes absorb every detail of his face. Stormy gray eyes that looked right into my soul. A slightly crooked nose and perfectly chiseled jaw. The small ball of steel nestled perfectly against the pillow of his bottom lip.
“What happens now?” The words formed on my lips.
He leaned down, brushing his nose over mine, his fingers buried deep in my hair, and whispered, “Only you can decide, Eva.”
Rafe
* * *
Mrs. Walker cooked a mean pot roast. I hadn’t had a proper home cooked meal in forever. It was so fucking good I never wanted it to end. Even with Mr. Walker’s heavy stare burning into me, I shoveled mouthful after mouthful in, savoring the rich flavor.
“That was really good, Mrs. Walker.” As I rubbed my stomach, I could see Eva's mom knew my comment was genuine and not some lame attempt to win her over.
“Oh please, Rafe, call me Jesse.” Eva’s mom had warmed to me somewhat over dinner, but her husband was still looking at me like I was the devil incarnate.
Eva squeezed my hand under the table, coaxing my eyes to hers. She smiled and fuck, if it didn’t do something to me.
Something primal.
When I’d realized Eva had left Vegas, it was like my world went dark. She was the light. My Starshine. She made the good days great, and the not so good days that much more bearable.
It wasn’t until I saw Levi’s fist driving toward my face that I realized just how bad I’d fucked up.
He blamed me for everything. Our past. The fact my mother loved me and loathed him. He blamed me for forcing him into rehab and for letting him disappear in Vegas and fall off the wagon again. For lying about my feelings for Eva.