“I can’t imagine what your illness must have been like for them, for you.” I leaned in, burying my face in her hair, breathing in vanilla and honeysuckle. Eva always smelled so good. Like hope and happiness.
Like home.
“I can’t imagine a world without you in it,” I whispered, the words cutting me open.
“Rafe...” Her breath caught. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’m fine now, truly.” Eva turned into me so we were nose to nose. “Besides, I have too much to live for.”
“Yeah?” My pulse was like a steady beat beneath my skin as I let my hand glide up the side of her neck.
“I have my parents and music. Molly and Letty. The tour... You.”
“You do, you know?” I inched closer until our faces were pressed together, our lips almost touching. “You have me, Eva. I’m yours.”
She slid her hand up my chest, resting it right over my heart. “I’m sorry I ran.”
“And I’m sorry I let you think you weren’t my priority. You are. It’s just...”
“Ssh.” She kissed me. “You don’t have to apologize for being an amazin’ brother. What you’ve done for Levi over the years... I can’t even begin to imagine.”
“I will always feel responsible for him, but I want more, Eva.” Music was a part of me, but it wasn’t all of me. Between the band and Levi, I’d never stopped to think about the future.
About life after the band.
Now I had so many things running through my head, I had to stop myself from blurting them out.
“Eva, Rafe,” Mrs. Walker’s voice broke the spell that had fallen over us. “I made pie.”
“Great timin’, Mom,” Eva grumbled, curling her fingers into my t-shirt.
“We have time,” I said, kissing her forehead. “Come on, we should go inside.”
“We could be a couple of minutes late.” She batted her eyes at me, and I almost conceded. But just because Mr. Walker had given me his blessing didn’t mean I was going to push my luck.
“Later,” I said, standing up and pulling Eva with me. “I need to earn some brownie points with your father so I can sneak into your room later for a goodnight kiss.”
Her cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink. “I think my father would actually kill you if he found you sneakin’ into my bedroom.”
I stopped before we reached the door and locked eyes with her. “I’ll take my chances.”
Eva was worth the risk.
She was worth every damn thing.
Eva
* * *
“He did what?” Molly shrieked over the line, and I chuckled, moving the phone away from my ear. “He’s at your house, right now?”
“Yep.”
“And your dad is okay with that?”
“He’s not unhappy with it. He’s... dealin’.”
“Wow,” she let out a sigh, “I can’t believe he came. Well, I mean, I totally can. He loves you, but what about Levi? What happened there?”
“We still haven’t talked much about it. I know they got into a fight.”
“Damn girl, you broke up one of the biggest, hottest rock bands in the world.”
“Molly!”
“Relax, I’m jokin’. Mostly.” Her soft laughter did little to ease the knot in my stomach. “Levi will come around. He’ll have to, right? If you’re all goin’ to be tourin’ together. I mean, you are goin’ back on tour with them?”
“I think so. Alistair wants a decision tonight.”
“I bet he almost shit a brick when he realized Rafe was gone.”
“He’s the least of our problems right now.” The press was already speculating about my sudden disappearance and Levi’s disappearing act at the Vegas club opening. Now Rafe was MIA and the band had cancelled their show in Salt Lake City, keeping up the excuse that the band had been struck down with a nasty stomach flu.
People weren’t stupid though. They knew you didn’t just cancel sell-out shows in huge arenas for a stomach flu. And I couldn’t help but feel the weight of the consequences of the decisions Rafe and I had made. Consequences that had slowly begun to unravel his relationship with Levi, not to mention the band’s stability.
“How are you holdin’ up, really?”
“I’m okay, I guess. I ran, Mol. I left Rafe when he needed me most.” I should have stayed; I knew that now. But I was a coward.
“You didn’t run. You came home to regroup. It’s not the same. Don’t be so hard on yourself. This is new territory for you, and I think it shows how far you’ve come. You put yourself out there, Eva. You went on tour with Black freakin’ Hearts. You did that. You. It isn’t your fault you ended up havin’ the Hunter brothers fallin’ at your feet.”
My eyes screwed shut as I inhaled a deep breath. Levi was so much more complicated than I ever realized, and I cared for him deeply, I did. But I’d have been lying if I said his attachment to me wasn’t overwhelming. Levi had latched onto something he saw in me; placed me on a pedestal I didn’t deserve.
And now he probably hated me.
“What if we can’t get through this?”
“You and Rafe?” she tsked. “Of course you can. You’re the music industry’s next golden couple.”
“I’m not just talkin’ about me and Rafe, Mol. I’m talkin’ about me, Rafe, and—”
“Levi.”
“Yeah. He’s a part of this whether we like it or not. He needs Rafe.”
“And Rafe needs you. But what about you, babe, what do you need?”
I considered her words. I’d been so wrapped up in the tour, in finding myself again, and falling headfirst in love with Rafe, that there hadn’t been much time to stop and catch my breath. But I knew I needed music. It was a vital part of me, as much as the blood flowing through my veins. Cradling my guitar in my hands and pouring my heart out on stage was more than fulfilling some childhood fantasy. It was a salve to my broken soul. I hadn’t realized just how much performing meant to me... until I ran home and holed up at my parents’ house.
“I want it, Mol,” I breathed, a sense of clarity washing over me.
“Well, yeah, you do. You were so freakin’ at home out there. You were born to do this, babe. With or without the band.”
“I’m goin’ to tell Alistair I’m in.”
Her shrieks of approval filled the line and I flopped back onto my bed, laughing right along with her. Who knew what the future held? Maybe Rafe and I were destined for great things, or maybe we were meant to be nothing more than a lit match. Intense, hot, but something that burned out way too quickly.
I was the new Sweetheart of Country. A title I hadn’t wanted, but one I now wore with pride. I couldn’t throw that away because of a bunch of what ifs and maybes. Rafe and Levi had survived worse. They could survive this.
They could survive me.
And if they couldn’t, I’d just have to figure out a way to prove them wrong.
The slight knock on my door barely registered as Alistair barked down the line at me. “And you can tell Rafe that he better—”