Jax’s class dismissed in thirty minutes, and I realized he’d be calling me right after, demanding, confrontational, maybe unforgiving. My heart rose to my throat.
“I’ll come there,” I said before I could change my mind.
Rushing through campus along College Walk toward Broadway I almost stopped three times, second-guessing my decision.
I stopped for the fourth time, but this time, reversed my direction. I had to speak to Jax. I’d never feel secure in what I was doing until I passed it by him, and even though he would be upset that I shared too much with Luke, I had to hope he’d understand.
My feet moved one in front of the other more and more confidently. I ignored the cold weather and the chill the wind created as it sliced through my leggings and fitted jacket. Finally, I made it across campus and to the faculty building that housed Jax’s office. I sat, waiting in one of the wooden chairs in the hall outside his office. The wooden door was shut, and the frosted glass dark indicating no lights were on inside.
I fully expected him to text or call when his class ended, but he didn’t, and the minutes dragged on. My apprehension began to grow again as the hallways filled with students who were making their way between classes or to meet with their faculty advisors.
I hunched over my knees, resting my elbows there as I clasped my hands together. I stood and started to pace back and forth in front of the bench, leaving my book bag sitting there.
About to check my phone again, he appeared at the top of the antique stairwell. I sucked in my breath and waited. He was reading pink message notes he must have collected from the faculty lounge. A frown dropped his masculine brow, his face as handsome as ever.
Tears pricked the back of my eyes, and my throat tightened. I could only pray that I hadn’t ruined everything. I blinked back the tears and lifted my eyes to his approaching form, but this time, his deep blue eyes locked with mine. His expression softened, and he nodded toward his office as he passed me.
He systematically and unhurried, unlocked the door, opening it, and waited for me to preceed him inside. I did so without speaking, and he flipped on the lights and closed the door behind him.
He didn’t seem angry, but I still felt like hell. I put a hand to my face as I felt it flush. I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat.
“Take a seat, Addison.” His voice, while still deep and sensuous was measured.
I sank into one of the wooden chairs in front of his desk, remembering the first time I’d been in this room filled with awe of him, and how he’d confessed his desire to work with me, and just… his desire for me. Now it seemed like a million years away. There was a distance that I hated, one that I’d created.
Tears flooded my eyes and dripped down my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have confided in Luke, but after you left me last night, Gloria called.”
He paused, contemplating his words. He nodded then went to sit on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms across his chest. “Luke mentioned it,” he said softly, his eyes studying me. My heart broke. He was right in front of me but felt like he was a million miles away.
“I never intended to tell him about my book, but I started crying when I tried to tell him that I couldn’t help with his. I mean, how could I when I couldn’t even get mine published? Everything sort of just spilled out.”
“Everything?” he questioned.
I shook my head adamantly. “Not everything. Just that you were helping me connect with your agent and with a few edits.”
Jax nodded again. “Did she tell you it wasn’t good or that she just hasn’t gotten to it?”
“She said she didn’t have time to read the entire thing. She offered to sign me as a ghostwriter so at least I could earn some money until she can work on it.”
Jax pushed away from the desk. “No.”
“Why?” I shrugged.
“Because you’re too good to write under someone else’s name, Addison, and you’ll kick yourself in the ass when it sells millions of copies. I hope you’re not considering it.”
“She said it would get my foot in the door with a few publishers before graduation, and I could make some money.”
“You don’t need money.” He was doing it again; staring out the window with his back to me. “I can take care of you.”
I stood. “I know you would, and I love you for it. But I need to do this on my own. At least, mostly.” I brushed the tears away. “Try to understand.”
He turned and closed the space between us. I needed to touch him, and I reached out and laid a hand on his chest. “I understand, but please don’t ghostwrite. I know how to make her work on your book. Your book.” His hand came up to cover mine warmly and he bent to kiss my mouth so softly it hurt. It was poignant and tender, my heart exploded. His thumb brushed away an errant tear. When his lips lifted from mine, they hovered as his forehead touched mine. I closed my eyes. “Trust me.” Our breaths mingled and I sucked his in. I loved him so much. I should have known he’d center me, protect me, and know what to do.
“She wants you to finish yours.”
He nodded. “Yes. I’d drop her like a rock, but getting a new agent is messy, and she’s a vindictive bitch. I can take it, but let’s just get you published and then we’ll both walk.”
“Okay,” I agreed, sliding my arms around his waist. He pulled me close to his chest in a tight hug. I’d never felt so safe.
He rubbed my back and buried his face in my hair. “I just spoke to the dean and she’s agreed to let me take a month off. I’m going to my cabin in the Smokey’s to finish my book.”
I pulled back to look into his beautiful face. “What?”
“I’ll go bang it out. Sadly, I have to leave my biggest distraction behind.” He smiled and bent to kiss me again softly, his lips teasing mine, brushing and coaxing them open with the tip of his tongue. “You have to finish this semester, but I want you to come and join me for Christmas.”
My heart filled with love and joy. I slid my hands up his chest around his neck. I had to stand on tiptoe to reach his mouth. His arms tightened and lifted me off of the ground and my hands threaded in the hair at his nape. “I’d love to. I’ll miss you until then.”
“I know, me too. The class assignment is to start a novel. Just turn in your first three chapters and concentrate on your other classes while I’m gone. Luke won’t question it, and I’ll be working with him via the university website.”
It occurred to me that I hadn’t been without him even one day since the beginning of the semester and I couldn’t help the twinge of sadness I already felt at the prospect of not seeing him. “Can I help him, then?”
“Hmmm,” he teased. “With his novel?”
“Uh huh.”
“Novel yes, out of his pants, into yours, not a chance.”
“I’d never let anyone else touch me.”
He bent and kissed me hungrily, our lips and mouths feasting on each other’s. It was a glorious dance of giving and taking. He was delicious and I wanted him.
It felt wonderful to be all wrapped up in his strong arms. This man was home to me and I loved him so much it hurt. My heart shattered into a million pieces, its shards ripping through my chest. It was a delicious mixture of euphoria and pain and I couldn’t get close enough as new tears squeezed from the corners of my closed eyes.