“What’s the matter?” Gabe asks, opening his eyes. He sits up slowly and studies my worried face. “What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Liv, I know when you have something on your mind.”
I chew the corner of my mouth. “Just please don’t be offended when I ask you this.”
“Okay,” he says cautiously.
I press my lips together and look down at my hands, folded in my lap. “I know I don’t have any right to ask you this. And you don’t have to answer.”
“Liv, it’s okay. Just ask.”
I bob my head and spit it out. “Who were the condoms for?” I look up at him hesitantly. “I mean, I don’t expect that you’ve been celibate all these years. In fact, I’d say you’ve had quite a bit of practice.” I raise a suggestive eyebrow. “I was just wondering if maybe there was someone more recently. Maybe someone like”—I let out a soft laugh and shake my head, because saying it sounds so ridiculous—“Stacey McGillis?”
He looks at me very seriously and says, “You saw that last night, huh?”
Oh. I exhale a stunned breath, because the tone of his voice and look on his face answers my question. “Yeah,” I finally say, trying to find my heart, “I saw.”
He pulls his eyebrows together, making the little crease appear over the bridge of his nose. “Liv”—he sits up and shakes his head—“Stacey is...she was...”
I stare at him with big puppy eyes, waiting for the blow.
“Yes,” he finally says, and my heart sinks further inside me. “One time, years ago. It was a mistake. One I’ve regretted ever since.”
I nod, acknowledging his shocking admission, but I can’t bring myself to say anything.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I say quietly over the unreasonable hurt I feel, “you don’t have to apologize.”
I was with Travis. I don’t have the right to have an opinion about any of Gabe’s sexual endeavors. But the masochist I am, I ask, “Were there many others?”
He shrugs. “A few. But none of them meant anything to me.” He reaches for my face. “None of them were you.” He rubs his thumb across my cheek and I smile softly over the unwarranted ache in my heart. “If I thought there was a chance that we would be together again, I would have waited for you. I swear I would have.”
I wrap my arms around him and kiss his neck. “I didn’t expect you to.”
“The condoms weren’t for anyone recent.”
“It’s okay, Gabe, you don’t have to explain.”
“And I’ve never had unprotected sex, until today...with you”—he smiles softly—“just so you know.”
That’s reassuring. I nod thoughtfully and tell him, “Me neither,” to be sure he knows. But now I just want to change the subject.
“Can I ask you something now?”
“Mm-hmm,” I mumble against his neck.
He unwraps my arms and pulls me into his lap. “Why are you on the pill?”
Tell him about Travis.
“I’ve been on the pill since I was fifteen. It helps with my periods.”
“So, there isn’t anyone you want to tell me about?”
Tell him.
“Like, Travis?”
My heart jumps up into my throat. How the hell does he know about Travis? And why the hell am I so afraid to talk about him?
Maybe because I can’t write Travis off as a one night stand. Or maybe because not that long ago Travis asked me to marry him.
“Travis Beauclair,” I finally say. “How do you know about him?”
“Word travels fast in a small town.” He takes my left hand and holds it in his. “Rumor is he wanted to marry you.” He laces his fingers with mine and implores me for the truth.
I shrug and nod my head ever so slightly. “Yeah. Something like that.”
“I take it you didn’t feel the same way about him?”
“No,” I say certainly. “How could I? I’ve only ever felt that way about you.”
He smiles softly and pulls me close until my lips land on his. “Thanks for straightening that out for me.”
“Anytime.”
“For the record, I overheard your momma telling mine about him.”
Great.
“I have to say, I really don’t like the guy.” He laughs, and so do I.
“That’s reasonable.” I kiss him softly and notice the time on the alarm clock next to his bed.
11:30am.
“Gabe, I have to go. Trisha’s probably awake by now, wondering where I am.”
“Okay.”
“Shoot,” I say as thoughts of last night remind me that I still need to go get my car.
“What is it?”
“My car. It’s at Charlie’s. I drove Trisha’s over here.”
“I’ll get it for you.”
“You will?”
“Yeah. I’ll bring it over later today. It’ll give me an excuse to steal you away for a bit. You see, I’ll need someone to take me back to my truck afterward.” He grins.
“Ah. Well, I’m sure I can manage to sneak away, just for a little while.” I laugh. “You know what? Why don’t you bring it over tonight and have dinner with us? My mom’s cooking because Trisha’s here. You should come.”
“I don’t know. You sure Maggie will be okay with that?”
“She’ll have to be.” I reach for his hand. “Come to dinner. It’ll be like old times. And even if it’s not, that’s okay. I want you there.”
He nods and agrees over the hesitation in his eyes. “Okay.”
I smile and lean in to kiss him. “Good,” I say against his lips, and he responds by kissing me back. I reluctantly pull myself away from him and search for my clothes. “You know,” I say, holding up what’s left of my panties, “these were my favorite pair.”
Gabe smiles. “I liked them too.”
“Then why did you rip them in half?” I ask, laughing.
“Because they were in the way.” He crawls across the bed until his hands are on my hips. He pulls me close and drops his mouth to my stomach, dotting it with soft kisses. “I couldn’t wait another second. I had to have you.” He holds my hands and kisses the insides of my wrists. “It was the quickest way to get to you.” He looks up at me with a small smile, one of many he’s gifted me with this morning.
“I wish I didn’t have to go.”
“Then don’t. Stay here with me...forever,” he says, teasing, I think. But then I see a flash of panic in his eyes.
I bite my lip, just hard enough to suppress the worry I suddenly feel. When it subsides, I softly assure him, “I’m with you now, Gabe.” It feels almost dreamlike to be saying that. “I’ll be back,” I promise. “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away from you now.”
He laces his fingers with mine, but I see him struggling with something. Before I get the nerve to ask him what’s wrong, he looks up at me and says resolutely, “I wouldn’t let them. I’ll never let you go again, Liv. No matter how selfish it is.”