Chapter 1
Liv
I lie in my bed, clinging to a heavy blanket of sleep, but the morning sun casts its soft glow against my cheek, calling me to get up and face the man in my kitchen who asked me to be his wife last night. To whom, I politely said yes.
A loud bang forces my eyes open. The crescendo of pots and pans clattering across my kitchen floor is an ironic accompaniment to the mess I’ve gotten myself into.
I groan quietly and pull my duvet over my head, but even then, I can’t escape the morning light pouring mercilessly through my bedroom window, or the glaring fact that I have no intention of marrying Travis Beauclair.
Considering that I failed miserably in my attempt to end our casual dating relationship last night, it should be fascinating to see how breaking off our budding engagement goes.
I throw the duvet off and press my fingers to my tight chest, mindlessly rubbing the spot that’s been quietly aching since I was twenty-two, but it doesn’t help.
It never helps.
I smell coffee, the only thing that will help me feel better about breaking Travis’s heart, and...bacon. Bacon will give me strength.
I stare at a crack in my ceiling, listening to Travis for a few more minutes, until I hear the quiet thuds of his bare feet crossing my old—but charmingly historic—apartment. One could argue that old and charming aren’t synonymous, but I try to look on the bright side of things. It’s a necessary coping mechanism in my life.
Travis carefully nudges my bedroom door open with a tray of food, wearing a pair of joggers, a six-pack, and a smile. As charming and handsome as he is, I’ve been looking for the bright side of our relationship for a while now—but the inevitable truth is, I don’t love him.
He tries to blow one of his messy, dark locks out of his blue eyes. “Hello, fiancée.” He smiles wide, and my heart takes a diving leap into my stomach. I can’t look at his scruffy just-woke-up-and-made-you-breakfast-in-bed face.
I’m a terrible person.
I should have ended things with him months ago. Now I’ve gone and agreed to marry the man.
What was I thinking?
I wasn’t thinking. I was so caught up in my plan to break up with him last night, I was completely caught off guard when he dropped to one knee in the middle of my favorite restaurant. The word yes just fell right out of my mouth, even though every single part of me was screaming no.
I blame shock and peer-pressure for my automatic answer. All the in-the-know waiters and other diners were staring at us, waiting for me to accept his very public proposal. I didn’t want to disappoint them. But the second I said yes, I heard a familiar voice fill my head, echoing my own ambivalent thoughts. Liv, what are you doing?
I pulled in a hushed breath when I heard my twin brother’s voice, and blinked back the unexpected tears that rushed to my eyes. I hadn’t heard Brandon’s voice in so long, and although it was disapproving, I was wrapped in warmth. I closed my eyes for just a moment, just long enough to see his face preserved forever at twenty-one, before someone else filled my mind. Someone I’ve tried to forget for seven long years. Someone I’m now certain will never leave my heart no matter how much time passes. Gabriel North.
Assuming my tears were for his proposal, Travis pulled me into his arms and slid the engagement ring onto my finger. I was too busy clinging to the sound of my brother’s voice and trying to hold onto Gabe’s beautiful face in my mind to stop him. It wasn’t until the people around us started clapping and congratulating us on our engagement that I finally came to my senses and surveyed the damage.
In just a few foggy minutes I managed to acquire a sparkly new diamond ring and a beaming fiancé.
“Coffee?” Travis asks with a smile, and I nod my head tentatively.
“Yes, please.”
He carefully sets the tray of food down on my nightstand and hands me a cup he already made. I take it from him, sipping it eagerly, but it does little to comfort me. It’s too strong, too sweet, and in need of cream. Lots of cream. But I drink it anyway, hoping it will take the edge off my champagne-induced headache—a consequence of accidently agreeing to marry him last night.
I swallow down the bitter coffee and place the mug on my nightstand next to the sparkly diamond ring that’s resting dreamily in a ray of sunlight, reflecting a million tiny white sparkles on my wall.
Travis immediately picks it up and slides it back onto my finger, and a jolt of guilt shoots across my chest and wraps tightly around my heart.
I rub the spot mindlessly. “Travis—”
“Move to Dallas with me,” he interrupts, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing inside me.
“What?” I ask, shocked. As if getting married wasn’t enough, he wants me to move to a new city? A new state?
I’ve spent seven years trying to make a life here in Raleigh, but most days I still feel like a misshapen puzzle piece that will never fit in. I tried to root myself with work, with friends...even with him. But all of that has only ever provided temporary relief from the longing I feel to be somewhere else—the place that still echoes deep in my bones. The place where, I know in my heart, I’m supposed to be. The thought of starting over again somewhere else is disconcerting, to say the least.
“I know we’re not married yet, but I don’t want to go without you.” Excitement flashes in his eyes.
“Travis”—I shake my head and spin the ring on my finger—“I can’t move to Dallas with you.”
“Why? You knew Raleigh was only temporary for me. Graduate from Duke, pass the bar, then go home to Dallas and join my parents’ law firm. I might be a few years late, but that was always the plan.” He laughs softly. “Guess I just needed to sow some wild oats first.” He puts his hand on my thigh and grins. “But now that I’ve gotten that out of my system...”
“That was always your plan, Travis. Not mine.”
He pushes his lips together and flashes his piercing blue eyes at me. “Liv, you can get another job in Dallas if that’s what you’re worried about. I know it’s a big city, but my family has connections. I’m sure they’ll pull some strings for you.”
I feel my face screw up. “Thanks, but I don’t want another job.” Not in Dallas, anyway.
His face is a mix of disappointment and confusion. “Okay...for now, I guess. But once we’re married...” He shrugs his shoulders and says firmly, “The firm is in Dallas, Liv. My family is in Dallas.”
“I know...but I won’t be.”
“What do you mean, you won’t be?” He sounds nervously perplexed.
I decide to rip the band aid off. “I mean I can’t marry you, Travis.”
He studies me for several seconds, blinking occasionally, and then he stands up and runs his hand through his dark hair. “But last night...you said yes.”
“I know I did. I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? For what? For changing your mind?”
“I haven’t changed my mind, Travis.”
He folds his arms over his bare chest. “Then why the hell did you say yes?” Why would you do that?”
“I was just...overwhelmed. It all happened so quickly and everyone was watching us.” I drop my chin and say honestly, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”