Some are legitimate questions.
Some are tricks.
To this day, most men haven’t figured out which is which. It’s like playing a game of Russian Roulette when answering, only there is a bullet in every chamber.
No matter how you answered the question, you lost.
As I see it, the man always has three options:
* Avoid answering the question and run far away, as fast as possible.
* Answer the question honestly and hope that was actually what she wanted.
* Lie.
Obviously, this scenario doesn’t apply to all questions from females, but here is the shortlist of questions that have proven to be troublesome for men:
* Does this make me look fat?
* Do you think that woman over there is pretty?
* What are you thinking?
* Do you notice anything different about me?
* I know we had plans, but would you be mad if I went out with my girlfriends tonight?
I have to admit that the question, “Did you see anything you weren’t supposed to see?” was a tricky one and I was on the fence as to which way to answer.
Ruth was glaring at me. I needed to quit stalling.
I opted to tell a lie. “I didn’t see anything at all.”
Except those gorgeous legs and cute pink-laced panties.
She stared at me.
This is another problem.
When they don’t believe you.
Women are such wise creatures that they can get a man to admit to just about anything, even something they didn’t do.
Ruth seemed to be an expert in this category because I was beginning to cave.
Oh, hell.
I decided to give in. “Okay, I saw something, but it happened so fast that I already forgot what I saw.”
This is yet another problem guys have. Someone like me who is not used to lying will always look like he’s lying when he gives it a shot. And that will lead to saying the most idiotic things.
Change the subject again. Now!
I gestured to the french doors. “What do you think?”
She nodded. “I like them. A lot.”
Great! Now we were getting somewhere.
Ruth looked through the glass on the doors to the backyard.
I quickly flicked on the light switch, so she could see outside since it was already dark.
She took a step back and cocked her head to the side, glancing at the wall. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t have a light switch there before.”
Uh-oh.
Ruth wouldn’t have a problem with me adding something that wasn’t part of the original plan, would she? Most clients would be thrilled that I had thought of that extra detail at no charge. Dee had warned me that Ruth wanted things the way she wanted them, and the way things were agreed upon.
I hadn’t asked her permission to install the new light switch.
Dee’s words about Ruth bounced back and forth in my head.
She’s a perfectionist. As long as you remember that and deliver what you promised, there won’t be any problems at all.
Hopefully, I hadn’t overstepped my boundaries here. Ruth was a workaholic. She should have been able to appreciate anything that would save her time, even if it was just thirty seconds. That had to be my angle for the explanation.
I cleared my throat. “I installed it in case you ever wanted to turn on the backyard light from here in your office and enjoy the view outside while you’re working at night. I linked this light switch to the other one next to your sliding glass door in the family room. Now, you can turn the backyard lights on and off from either room. Convenient and a time saver.”
She did that staring thing again.
“No charge,” I added, in case she was thinking that she had to pay extra since it wasn’t part of the original plan. I had no plans on charging her for it anyway, but it was good to spell things out for my clients so there were no misunderstandings.
“I like it. Good call, but”—she shook her finger at me—“You will get paid for all the work you do here.” She gestured to the doors. “May I?”
“Of course.”
She opened both of the french doors, swinging them all the way open, and standing back to inspect what I had done. I had also installed the screen doors to keep the bugs out, but that wouldn’t keep her from hearing and enjoying the crickets singing.
A wonderful ocean breeze entered the office.
“I needed this badly today.”
I nodded. “Rough day?”
“You have no idea.” She watched the blinking lights of a plane fly by and her face and shoulders tensed up again. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get some work done.”
What was that all about?
Who knew what she had going on? It certainly wasn’t my place to ask. The best thing to do was just get out of her hair.
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll be back in the morning at eight to get started on the backyard, starting with installation of the fountain.”
“Thank you. Oh . . . and I do hope that Brandon was able to get that screwdriver to your truck without any difficulties.”
“I’m confident he succeeded.” I grinned, appreciating her sarcasm. “Sometimes, I let him carry three or four at the same time.”
The bottom of her mouth curved up just enough to let me know she wasn’t mad about Brandon’s wedgie comment.
Still, we needed to be careful.
Ruth seemed to be the type of woman who could snap at any moment.
Chapter Seven
RUTH
The first thing I did when I woke up the next morning after I washed my face and got dressed was walk over to the local bakery around the corner to grab my favorite croissants.
I told people—and myself multiple times every day—that I was trying to watch my carbs, but breakfast didn’t count. Neither did lunch or dinner, for that matter.
In fact, the only time I felt really guilty about eating carbs was when they were the in-between-meal snacks. Like those wonderful cookies I’d eaten at my parents’ house last night.
Luckily, I had trained myself to block out the guilt of carb eating with each bite of the buttery, flaky pastry by drowning myself in work up to my eyeballs. Of course, that wasn’t going to work today either, since I had decided to take the day off, so I splurged and got two croissants instead of my usual one. I also got two croissants for my petite freak of nature friend, Dee, since she ate whatever she wanted without putting on any weight.
I ate the first croissant on my walk back to the house.
After arriving back home, I pulled my chair closer to my desk with the second croissant and the first of four cups of coffee that I would be drinking that morning.
My only goal today was to officially start my search for the perfect man. Well, that, and meet my new airport friend, Judy, for a cup of tea in the afternoon.
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to check my business email before I got started.
My phone vibrated before I could open the email app.
Dee: You’d better not be working right now.
I really don’t know how she did that, but it always weirded me out. It was like the woman had ESP or a hidden camera in my office.
Ruth: Me? Come on! I have the day off!
Dee: I don’t believe you. Be there in five minutes.
I sighed, knowing that I would feel too guilty checking my email now. I opened up the document that I had started working on last night with the list of qualities that I was looking for in a man.