“Everyone grabs their suitcase the moment they see it, like their lives depended on it. If they can’t get it the first time, they huff and puff, disappointed, as if it was the biggest inconvenience in the world to wait one more minute for it to come back around. I used to be like that, I admit. I wanted to see what would happen if I let my suitcase go around again, on purpose. I wanted to see how I would feel.”
I had no idea what she was getting at or if the woman was crazy.
I thought about it for a few moments and finally asked, “And? How do you feel now that you had a chance to grab your suitcase, but didn’t?”
She nodded. “It’s quite liberating, I have to tell you. To see everyone rushing back and forth while I myself am completely relaxed, not having a care in the world. No hurries. No worries. I quite like it.” She pointed to her suitcase coming by again on the baggage conveyor belt. “Here it comes again and there it goes! I think I’ll let it go around a few more times. This is fun. Not a care in the world!”
The blank look on her face said otherwise.
I was tempted to ask her if the reason she thought she didn’t have a care in the world was because she had nobody in her life. Because it would seem to me that if you had people in your life that you cared about, you would have many cares in the world.
Was it really possible that I would end up like this woman for keeping myself isolated from relationships? Alone and convinced that it was liberating to not care about anything?
I wanted to care about something.
I wanted to care about someone.
I hadn’t been honest with myself or Dee about this, but it was the truth.
Which got me thinking about how many cares in the world I did actually have, if I wasn’t including my career.
It didn’t take long to figure it out.
I basically had three people in my life that I cared about: Dee, my mom, my dad.
It was my mom’s fault that I didn’t have many friends. I didn’t want to end up like her, so I did the complete opposite of everything she had done in her life.
She got married. I didn’t.
She had a child. No kids for me.
She gave up on her dreams. I gave up a social life and shot for the stars.
I still didn’t know how she could’ve given up on all her dreams and desires when she was younger. She gave up everything for my dad, including a bright future as a talented artist. Why?
Because she got pregnant.
That wasn’t an excuse.
Yes, the pregnancy was planned, and yes, I’m happy that I was born, but why did she throw everything away when I came into the world?
Anyway, three people in my life was indeed pathetic.
I definitely needed to do something to get the numbers up.
After what had just happened on the plane, I needed some perspective on what was most important in life. My career was still number one, but I was smart enough to be able to figure out a way to have a man at the same time. And I needed to quit avoiding my parents, just because I wasn’t happy with the way their lives turned out.
I still enjoyed their company and loved them dearly.
“Take care,” I said to the woman who didn’t have a care in the world. Before she could answer I turned back, curious. “Actually, I have a question for you.”
“What is it? I’ve got all the time in the world.”
“Is there another reason why you’re not in a hurry to get out of here?”
She thought about it. “You don’t buy my excuse?”
I shook my head. “I’m afraid not.”
She nodded again. “Okay, then . . . Most of my friends have moved away to a quieter life in another state. I rarely hear from them anymore or I’ve outlived them. I’ve outlived my husband and my daughter. Honestly, my home feels kind of lonely. While my home is my residence, it reminds me of a shell on the beach that nobody wants to turn over. It reminds me of how lonely I am when I’m there. Do you know what I mean?”
“I get it. I mean, my parents are still around, but I’ve never been married myself, don’t have any kids, and I don’t really have many friends either. I can honestly say that my home feels lonely, too.”
“But the difference is . . . you’re young. You still have plenty of time to meet a man and make new friends.”
“Everybody does—age doesn’t matter.”
I think the near-death experience definitely affected me because I would have never said that in the past. But I truly believed it now, and I wanted this woman to believe it, too.
For some reason, I didn’t want her to give up on life, even though she was a complete stranger.
“It’s never too late to make a new friend, and it’s never too late for love,” I added.
“If you say so,” the woman said, clearly not convinced.
“I’m Ruth, by the way.” I held out my hand.
She shook my hand. “I’m Judith, but my friends call me Judy.”
“Well, looks like I need to call you Judy then, because you just made a new friend. See how easy that was?”
She smiled. “We just met in the airport. I would say you’re more like a passerby or an acquaintance, not a friend.”
“Looks like we need to change that, now don’t we?”
“How are we going to do that?”
“How about joining me for a cup of tea tomorrow?”
Judy seemed to perk up at the idea. “Tea? The two of us?”
“Yeah, why not? We lonely people need to stick together and figure out a way to unlonely ourselves.” I pulled a business card from my purse and handed it to her. “Give me a call or send me a text and we’ll get together tomorrow afternoon for tea.”
Judy stared at my business card. “Really?”
“Yes. And I won’t take no for an answer. And one more thing.” I walked over to the baggage carousel, pulled her suitcase off the conveyor belt, and lugged it over to her. “Here. Now, go home. It’s time for both of us to get a life.”
Chapter Five
RUTH
After Judy left, I stood by myself in the baggage claim area, looking around. All the passengers from my flight had gotten their bags and had left the airport. The only bag on the conveyor belt was mine, going around again.
“This is pathetic.” I grabbed my carryon bag as it came around the carousel this time and followed the signs to ground transportation.
My Uber app said the nearest driver was seven minutes away, which normally wasn’t bad, but suddenly I was in a hurry and didn’t want to wait that long. Luckily, there wasn’t a line for taxis.
I stepped up and grabbed the first one.
I gave the taxi driver the address of my parents’ home, surprising myself, but surprising my mom even more after I walked in the front door.
It was the first time in over a decade that I had showed up to my parents’ house unannounced.
“Sweetheart!” My mom moved toward me, then stopped, analyzing my eyes. “Something’s wrong. What’s wrong?”
Always a mom.
I hadn’t seen her since last Christmas, I think, but she could still read me like a book.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I lied, hugging her and immediately beginning to sob.