“What?” Theo took my hand, his other going to my lower back. “Did I say something wrong? Untrue?”
“Again, all I can say is I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, though I did anyway. I can say I’m sorry till the end of time, but I know it’s not going to help.” We glided over the floor together, our steps in sync, but everything else clashed and banged. “So, please. Let’s get through Christmas without killing each other.”
He kept his gaze over my head, his lips rolling together. We stayed silent for a bit before he spoke.
“This was not how I imaged our first Christmas together would be,” he mumbled. “Seeing my great-grandmother’s ring on your finger, a wedding before us, I imagined myself bursting with happiness, so excited to start my life with my wife. Now feeling your touch makes my skin crawl…”
My throat squeezed, forming tears behind my eyes, my mouth locking down. I didn’t have any response except the same one I had said a hundred times already. My part in this, causing Theo such pain and grief that he had become angry and bitter, would always haunt me.
“May I cut in?” A familiar old voice croaked behind me, stiffening my spine.
“Lord William.” Theo stepped away from me. “I heard about what happened. Good to see you up and looking well.”
“Thank you, Highness.” Lord William bowed, his gaze staying on me, creating the sensation of bugs crawling over my skin. “I had amazing care and a visitor who made me really assess my life. See what was important.”
“Yes, I saw your wife, Lady Cabot, was here,” Theo replied. “She must be relieved.”
Lord William’s eyes stayed locked on me. “Yes, my wife was absolutely combusting with emotion.”
Livid he was still alive, I’m sure.
“Will you do me the honor of letting me dance with your stunning fiancée for a moment?” Lord William asked Theo, as if I was property to be let out when he deemed it.
“Of course. Please.” He gratefully waved to me. “She loves to dance, and I can’t say the same, so by all means.” Take her far away from me. He didn’t say it, but I could hear the unspoken message. Theo quickly retreated.
“Spencer.” Lord William’s lids lowered, his arms opening to clasp mine, his hand pressing far too low on my back, bringing me closer.
“Move your hand,” I growled, glaring up at him.
“We would look awfully silly if we weren’t touching,” he said against my temple, drawing me in tighter. “Dancing is meant to be intimate, a way to seduce and touch, right in front of society.” He moved us across the floor, his joints and bones making the dance a little stiff.
“You wanted to talk. Talk.” I glanced around, cautious of the people around us.
“What you told me at the hospital.” His voice was unemotional. “It changes nothing. Not that I believe you anyway.”
“What?” I tried to step back, but his boney fingers dug into my skin, keeping me moving with him.
“You still are in my debt. He’s Fredrick’s son. And your family owes me. Either you lose everything, or you save your family, Spencer.”
“I can’t believe you,” I seethed. “You really are soulless.”
“Mine was ripped from me a long time ago.”
“Oh, boo-hoo.” I glared up at him. “You had your heart broken. Get in line. You aren’t the only one who’s been hurt or deceived. It’s how you come out of it that makes you the person you are. I’m sorry for what my aunt did. It was awful, but it doesn’t forgive what you do. Your vile actions are your own. The only person to blame for how your life turned out—bitter and ugly—is you.” I yanked out of his grip. He didn’t fight me, his body going still. “You are weak, Lord William. A coward. You’d rather blame others for your cruel behaviors, hiding behind them like you have the right because someone hurt you. You don’t. And threatening and attacking women makes you a piece of shite, certainly not a real man.”
Lord William didn’t move or speak, his gaze fixed over my shoulder, his face pallid.
My head swiveled, following his focus. My stomach plummeted, fear zipping up my throat, coating my tongue.
My family had arrived and were chatting with Theo near the dance floor. But I knew the one Lord William was staring at. It was like looking at the photo of the younger version of himself.
Landen was the closest to us, wearing a tux, looking so grown up and toned from the last time I saw him. The military had carved his boy’s body into that of a man. Slight stubble grew along his jaw, his brown eyes catching the twinkle lights. He matched younger Lord William even more now. And now that Lord William knew, it was something even he couldn’t deny.
He was the father.
Landen, sensing eyes on him, turned his head, his gaze landing on me. A grin engulfed his face, his feet already moving for me. I ran for him, my heart bursting when his arms wrapped around me, feeling instantly happy and complete. The heart of my family was home.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked, trying my best not to cry. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” He leaned back.
“For not being there for you. I-I didn’t even know you had left for the military. I was so self-absorbed. God, Landen, you are my heart…and I wasn’t there when you needed me the most.”
He wrapped me up in a big bear hug, not caring about decorum. “It’s okay, Spence. You had a lot going on.”
“It’s not a good enough excuse. We always promised each other…you and I against the world. We would always have each other’s backs.”
“And we always will.” He stepped back, squeezing my arms. “You got caught up in this world. And at first, I did hate it and blamed you…but that was because I was selfish too. I didn’t want to lose you. I spent the first half of camp bitter, angry, and isolated, but one day I overheard another soldier saying graphic things about you, and after I kicked his arse, I realized everything I was holding on to wasn’t fair to you. You are my best friend and family. No matter what, I knew we’d have each other’s backs. I just let it go. And after that, I actually started to like what I was doing.”
“You liked military camp?”
“Well, let’s not get carried away, but…” His cheeks reddened.
“You met someone.” My eyes widened.
He shrugged. “I don’t know what it is. But it made me not hate everything and everyone all the time.”
“I’ve missed you so much.” I stared at him.
“Same, cuz.” He nudged me. “One night, we need to get trolleyed and catch up. It’s a holiday tradition, after all.”
“Oh, I don’t think you are ready for that.” I winked. He had no idea of the stories I had to tell.
“Please, the things I can tell you now.” He winked back. “Bring it.”
“You’re on. And I can’t wait to hear all about this person…” I drifted off, curving an eyebrow.
He only grinned, not giving me any hint. Not that I cared. If Landen was happy, I was happy.
“You look good.” I repeated my thoughts out loud. “Happy.”