“I am, I think. The closest I have been in a long time, anyway.” His forehead scrunched. “Not everything is rainbow and unicorns. But it is strange, Father seems different since I got back. Interested. He actually muttered something about me taking an acting class if I wanted to.”
“What?” I gaped.
“I know, right?” Landen looked back at Fredrick. “I think aliens have taken over his body, but I’ll take it.”
I glanced from Fredrick to Landen, then to the man who had been behind me. Lord William was gone.
I had no idea what his plans were, but I knew in my gut, I would take this secret to the grave. Landen’s father was Fredrick. No matter what. Nothing good would come of him finding out the truth. It would only lead to heartache, pain, anger, and betrayal. It would tear my family apart and destroy Landen.
Whatever I had to do to protect Landen, I would do it.
After spending some time with my family, them gushing over my pending nuptials, I had to escape, get some air. My heart thudding, I slipped out, holding back the approaching pain I would be dumping on my family. My feet returned me to the dark mural room, the shadows thick, only a few windows letting in enough light to give the room definition.
My hand pressed to my chest like I had to hold in my heart and lungs from jumping out of my body and running for safer ground.
How could I do this to them? They looked so happy and thankful for their luck in a son-in-law. Without knowing the full truth, I think all of them felt relieved my actions were “saving” them from something, a doom they could feel hinting on the horizon. And I was about to take all that away and hand them more shame, grief, and humiliation.
My stomach knotted, dripping with acid, spinning doubt through my chest like a tornado. Was my happiness worth all of theirs? My sister’s future, our home, my family’s reputation? I wouldn’t only be bringing attention to myself. It would follow my family like a plague for the rest of our lives. Was I that selfish to cause so much harm for my joy?
“Don’t, Spencer,” a husky voice muttered from behind. His shadow was never far from me, prickling my skin with awareness.
“What?” I whispered back, my hand curling into the fabric of my dress, the weight of everything pushing down on my bones, ripping the air from my lungs.
“Doubt yourself. Take on everyone else’s happiness like it’s yours to give them.”
“Isn’t it?” I spun around, facing the man who held my heart in his hands, anger hinting at my tone. Lennox, hands in his pockets, stood near the entrance, his expression stony. “Why is mine worth more than all of theirs? My one action will destroy their lives as well. This isn’t just about me.”
“Because no one can live their life for someone else.” He pushed off the wall, strolling closer. “I know. I did it for years. And living in lies only ends up destroying you more.”
“But it would just be me. If I stay, the royal family, my family—no one is hurt.”
“Except you.” His shiny dress shoes bumped mine, his physique looming over my own. “And me.” His hands moved to my neck, sliding up to my face, tilting my head to look up at him. “I’ve spent too long being stuck, being with the wrong person out of guilt, obligation, and fear of hurting others. It’s not fair to anyone. Your uncle and aunt and parents are grown; they are the ones who control their happiness, their fate and reputation. Not you. We have this one life to live, and you shouldn’t have to live it to please and bubble wrap others in lies. It’s yours, Spencer. What do you want?”
“You.” The emotion was so pure, so truthful, and I knew as selfish as it may seem, I didn’t want to live without him. “I want you. I want to work with animals, living far away from prying eyes and being judged for how I walk, dress, speak, or even breathe.”
“Then have it,” he muttered, his mouth moving closer to mine. “Have it all, Spencer. You deserve happiness as well.” His lips, soft but powerful, incinerated me in a moment, wiping everything from my mind and letting me fall into his heat.
“I have nothing to say to you,” a woman’s voice hissed, footsteps moving quickly for the very room we were in. “Stay away from me.”
Lennox and I moved at the same time, instinct darting us toward a dark corner, blending into the shadows like ghosts, our bodies melding together.
“What would people say if they saw us together?” The woman stomped into the space, swiveling back on the grey-haired man following her, her green jewel-encrusted gown glinting in the moonlight streaming from the windows.
I knew that dress. A gasp lodged in my throat, my hand covering my mouth, pressing firmer into Lennox.
Aunt Lauren and Lord William.
“Nothing’s changed,” Lord William growled. “Still more concerned about what people think than what matters.”
“You know nothing about me.”
“I did once. Very well.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.” She shifted on her feet, prodding up her chin, trying to look regal and strong, but I could see it was all a front, fear seeping out, tainting the air.
William lurched for her, his hand wrapping around her throat. She inhaled, a gasp catching in her throat, her chest moving in and out. “I know you used to love this.” He squeezed down, his gaze roaming over her. “I’ll bet your husband never knew how twisted you liked it. So cut the crap. You can flounce around acting like you are above everyone, but I know the truth. I’ve always known you, and you hate that.” Lord William drew her in closer, her face tilted up to his. “I see you, Ren.”
“Don’t call me that.” She pulled away from him, anger raising her voice. “You know nothing. I merely let you believe you did.”
“I. Said.” Lord William grabbed for her again, yanking her back into him. “Cut the bullshite. I know the truth.”
She tried to push him away, but he held on to her tighter, yanking her aggressively. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” she challenged, fire I had never seen dancing in her eyes.
“Why, Ren?” Lord William croaked. An unfamiliar vulnerability tangled his features, his thumb pushing down on her throat. “Why?”
She breathed through her nose, staring up at him, her jaw locking down.
“I loved you so much. I would have done anything for you. I was willing to give up everything to be with you.”
“And that made you the fool,” she spat back. “A hopeless old fool who believed in fairytales and dreams.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t love me. That you were always this cold and cruel.” He shoved her against a wall, her breasts heaving, her cheeks flushed. “At one time, you were fire and passion. Fredrick has never been able to please you like I could, and we both know it.” He shoved her harder into the wall, her breath hitching with angry desire.
“He does. He’s twice the man you are in bed.”
Lord William’s laugh boomed in the empty space, cracking against the walls.
“You can’t even lie well.” He pressed into her, a barely audible moan rolling from Aunt Lauren, her mouth parting. “It may have been a long time, but I still know your body better than you do. And what you liked. Admit it, Ren, I was the only one able to give you what you wanted. The only one who could match your desire and preferences.”