And then I will be able to safely deliver my baby, building my life anew.
Without Sebastian in it, because I will never accept him now.
Ten more minutes and I reach the small condo on the outskirts of the city, exhaling in relief when I see the lights are on. She is home; waiting for her outside in this weather would have been awful.
Not for me, but for my little bean.
“You have the best aunt, my little one,” I whisper to my stomach and pat it gently before coming closer to the door, only to feel it vibrate with music and laughter coming from inside.
I pause with my fist about to knock, musing over this information and hoping I don’t interrupt one of her and Scott’s, her cardio-surgeon fuck buddy, times together.
I knock several times before the door swings open and a giggling Leiken holding a glass of wine greets me.
Her mouth almost drops open at seeing me, and the amusement is gone, along with the music that shuts off when everyone sees me standing in the doorway.
And by everyone, I mean almost all our coworkers from the hospital are here, clearly celebrating something.
But I was not invited.
“Phoenix,” Leiken says. “What are you doing here?”
“You’re celebrating something?” I ask weakly, uneasiness rushing through me at how detached her voice is and that she’s not pulling me inside her house, despite my drenched state.
“Well, um. Well….” She huffs, her cheeks heating up as if she can’t voice it, and Sam appearing from behind her does it for her.
He is not even trying to hide the disdain in his voice. “Yeah, the chief offered her a position.” He lifts his chin and folds his arms, acting all protective over her. “Question is, what are you doing here?”
“Sam!” Leiken exclaims, but I see several people nod, albeit they stay quiet, either not wanting to interfere or enjoying the show.
“What? You can’t possibly think her being here is okay. She almost jeopardized all of our jobs with this lawsuit hanging over the hospital’s head.”
“Yeah,” someone shouts from the back. I block them all away though and focus only on my best friend who will defend me.
I’m so tired of defending myself. I just want her to be on my side. For anyone to be on my side, really.
But my friend shifts uneasily and murmurs, “They’re right. You have to leave, Phoenix.” And before I can comment on that, Sam shuts the door in my face while I’m left standing in front of it with the rain still pouring on me.
If my life is a chessboard… I’m standing alone in my part of the board while Zachary King’s side has a full army ready to tear me apart.
“I should have guessed it’s you. You were always anal about CT scans.” Leiken breaks the silence that stretches among us and smiles tentatively. “Ever since that first case, right? We missed it, and the head surgeon ripped us a new one.”
“And you think that, because you know me so well?” She casts her gaze down at my harsh tone, and I turn to face Rafe, who still watches us in confusion. “I’m going to go now, but I’ll call you later to check on you.” I can’t stay here for long. James already informed me that Zachary ordered twenty minutes for the visitation and then haul ass after that.
Does he really think the unsub will attack me here of all places?
“Thanks for everything,” I address the nurse, pass Leiken on my way out, and dash into the hallway, ready to get the hell out of this place.
The heavy thumping of sneakers reverberates through the hallway as Leiken calls behind me, “Phoenix, wait.”
“Save it, Leiken. Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it,” I say at her, still keeping my pace and powering through the empty neurological wing before turning into the administrative part of the building where countless people are talking, trying to find out where patients are, from the nurses who are either on the phone or sorting everything for patients.
Basically, the busiest part of the hospital.
I zero my gaze in on the double doors with the flashy exit sign, but Leiken manages to grab my elbow, spinning me around to face her, and I huff in annoyance, snatching my arm back. “Please listen to me.”
“Leiken, are you deaf? I don’t want to.” She winces at my statement. “It either involves an apology or an apology and the desire to reconnect.” Judging by her expression, I guess it’s the latter. “Neither of the options works for me. So let’s not prolong the inevitable and end it here.”
“Phoenix, if you just give me an hour of your time, I can explain what happened.”
A hollow laugh escapes me at this. “There is nothing to explain.” I stop her when she opens her mouth to argue with that. “It’s not about you taking the job. You deserved it; you’re one of the best.” Surprise crosses her face at that. “It’s that you sided with everyone else while they called me a murderer.”
“I didn’t accept the job,” she says as if it’s supposed to mean something to me. “I mean, I did, but I couldn’t work there anymore. Not with everyone spitting bullshit about you.” She huffs in frustration, pulling at her hair. “This is not the place to talk about this. Please let me explain, for the sake of our past friendship.”
“As far as I’m concerned, we didn’t have one to begin with.”
“Phoenix,” she whispers, but I’m done with this shit.
Just because the truth is out and everyone knows what really happened, the variables in this equation don’t change. So I hope to God that Sebastian and Leiken will spread it around that I don’t want anyone’s sorries.
Sorry doesn’t fix anything.
Several long strides and I’m flying through the door, greeting the frigid air in my lungs, welcoming the cold, which has the power to erase everything else from my mind, but my reprieve doesn’t last long.
As the man who haunts me in my nightmares and stalks me in my reality stands in front of me, leaning on a red sports car, the sunglasses on his nose hiding his expression.
He is wearing black jeans and shirt along with a leather jacket that gives him a devilishly bad boy vibe that promises all kinds of things from him.
Chapter Fourteen
“When we are late, one minute passes so fast.
When we are early, one minute seems like an eternity.
One minute.
A minute that forever changed my life and his.”
Phoenix
New York, New York
Phoenix, 18 years old
Glancing at the clock on my phone one more time, I sigh heavily and rest my chin on the balcony reeling at the Empire State building viewing platform as my eyes drink in the beauty opening up to me.
Up this high, it’s impossible not to appreciate the magnificent city that’s New York with its tall buildings and thousands of cars and people passing by in a blur, different lights brightening up the sidewalk. I can almost smell the delicious odors of various food joints and hear the music coming from the speakers of the street musicians and the laughter of people who came either with friends or as tourists to soak up the energy this city provides.
Even though I vowed to myself not to come back here, life at the foster home was hellish, I understand with clarity that it was a stupid vow to make, because my heart flutters every time I look around me.