I let all those emotions sink into my bones, enjoying how they spread through me, giving me an illusion of happiness where I no longer have secrets from Phoenix.
A woman who I would have treated like God’s gift if she only would have let me.
However, my nirvana ends too soon when she leans back, freeing herself from my hold, and murmurs, “It’s too windy.” She turns toward the door and disappears behind it while I follow, ready to see her walk out of my life with Emmaline as I stand like an idiot doing nothing about it.
Because I have no fucking right to stop her.
I pause though when I see her stop in the middle of the room, flipping her hair over her shoulder, and she looks at me over it, pointing at the zipper. “Could you please help me with my dress?” I stroll toward her and place my fingers on the zipper before stilling my movements.
She wants to change her clothes and run away, right? Which means she asks me for help, because there is no one else around. I doubt Phoenix wants to stand naked in front of me even for a fraction of a second.
She feels my hesitation and asks, “What’s wrong?”
“I can wake someone up from the staff.” I inhale her scent one more time to forever memorize it in my brain and go toward the door. “They will help you.”
She catches my wrist, and I half turn to her while our gazes clash, and she says, “I don't need them.”
My bitter laughter echoes in the room. “I know, darling. That’s your personal way to torture me, but I can’t take it. I won't stop you from leaving.” Is this what she is afraid of? Otherwise, why would she prefer my help over theirs?
“I made a choice, Zach.”
“Yes, and I don't blame you for it. But please know this. I will not stay away out of Emmaline’s life.” I might give Phoenix the freedom she seeks; however, my daughter will always be mine.
I don’t give a fuck what society says.
“No, I didn't think you would.” She pulls me closer, and I follow, because I’m a whipped fucker when it comes to this woman. She laces her fingers with mine and lifts them between us. “You could never be my calm.” Right, all I bring to her is destruction. “You’re my ship in the storm. Oddly enough, I think no matter what happens, you will actually stick by me. I can’t explain it. This is crazy.” She raises her other hand, tracing her finger over my nose to my lips and then chin where she cups it gently. “My worst nightmare… but my only salvation. The devil and the angel, the man I hate and love at the same time.” My heart pangs painfully when she utters these words, joy and dread filling it at the possibilities they hold. “I’m probably making a wrong choice.” Her thumb rubs my cheek, and I kiss her palm, needing to feel closer to her but maintaining the distance between us. “I don't care though. All the right choices so far haven't brought me much happiness either.”
Thousands of thoughts flash in my mind at her confession, wanting to say so much, yet I manage to utter only, “I love you, Phoenix.”
She freezes, swallows hard, and closes her eyes for a moment before snapping her brown orbs to me again with some of the sadness gone from them. “I love you too, Zachary. The crazy kind of love that should be illegal.”
She yelps when I pull her toward me swiftly, her words giving me the green light I need along with profound relief, knowing this woman is not going anywhere or sending me to rot in hell for eternity. “You’re not leaving me.”
“No. Are there any more secrets?”
“None.”
“Good.”
“Good,” I reply and then growl when she laughs, the sound warming me from the inside out and becoming my solace in the storm that is our love.
I place my mouth on hers, and she instantly opens, our tongues dueling against each other as the kiss becomes hotter and deeper with each swipe.
With this kiss, we cement our claim on each other, the desire to be together despite all the difficulties connecting us in a way we thought was impossible after our previous experiences.
With this kiss, I give her all of me and take everything she offers me in return, mainly her trust and belief that I can make it all better.
With this kiss, I promise to never hurt her again willingly and to cherish her till the day I die.
With this kiss, I thank her for giving me another chance, when I don't deserve her. She wraps her arms around my neck, lifting on her tiptoes and pressing herself so tightly against me I don't know where she ends and I begin.
She accepts everything this kiss entails and moans into my mouth when I brush my tongue against hers. I press my thumb on her chin, opening her wider for me, giving her an open-mouthed kiss that sends pleasure through me. My dick instantly becomes hard and my blood boils with the primitive need to claim my woman once again, so there is no doubt in anyone’s mind, especially hers, who she belongs to.
We break the kiss, and I spin her around, biting her neck. She arches her back toward me, and I murmur harshly, “I’m ready to get you out of this dress and fuck you hard and so deep you will feel me inside you for days.” Licking over the bite I’ve given her, I slowly pull at the zipper, and the back of the dress slides apart, showcasing the smooth skin of her back. “Any objections?”
“No.” Her voice is hoarse, and she threads her fingers in my hair, needing to connect with me too it seems, but too bad, since I have different plans for us. Gently, I remove them from my hair and let her hand drop by her side with her groan of protest.
“Not yet, love.”
In the future, I will give her all the time in the world to play and do whatever the fuck she wants with me. Right now though?
It's my time to feast.
The minute the zipper reaches the end, the silky dress falls by her feet, leaving her naked to my gaze since I’d confiscated her panties in the library.
I smile, thinking about the passionate encounter, my dick straining harder in my pants, but instead of focusing on it, I rub my finger over all the faint scars on her skin that are not visible through the clothes.
The reminder of what I’ve done to her, bringing her so much pain, and looking at them now hurts me as much as if someone stabbed me in this moment.
She stills in my embrace, darting forward as if wanting to escape me from seeing the most vulnerable parts of her body. “Shhh,” I whisper into her hair as she trembles, her heart galloping under my palm. “Let me.” She exhales heavily and nods, while I slide my lips from her neck to her spine, trailing my tongue over every scar before giving it feather-like kisses, apologizing to her in the only way I know how.
With my touch that asks for forgiveness but also shows her they don't matter to me. They will always be there to remind me of what I’ve done, never letting me forget, and I will surround her with so much love that gazing at them in the mirror, as she probably does, won’t bring up pain again.
I fall on my knees, placing one last kiss on the puckered skin above her ass cheek, and bite on it to her loud gasp, which transforms into a groan. I leave the imprint of my teeth on it before sucking it, wanting my marks of ownership all over her so she never forgets who loves her the most in this world.
Maybe then, with time, all the memories of those scars will vanish from her brain. “You have the smoothest skin I’ve ever touched, love,” I whisper, slowly turning her around until my mouth is inches away from her pussy, already coating the insides of her thighs with its juices, and I lean closer, scooping it with the tip of my tongue. She moans, lacing her fingers in my hair, and slowly slides her legs apart, allowing me to slip my tongue between her folds. I groan when the taste of her hits me, and I give it a deep kiss, probing her with my tongue before licking all over her pussy and trapping her clit between my lips.