“I guess.” I sigh. I can only rely on Mariam for so much. Between the time difference and them traveling so much to speak with nonbinary and queer groups across the country, having a friend might not be so bad.
Thomas pats my shoulder and gives me one of those awkward smiles. “You want to go ahead and leave? I can get a head start on my grading.”
“Okay.”
There’s not really anywhere for me to go so early in the morning. Mrs. Liu won’t be in for another hour, and it feels awkward to be in the art room before she is.
I like Thomas and all, but I’m not prepared to spend an extra hour in his classroom with nothing between us but awkward conversation and even more awkward silence. So I head back to the quad. At least now I can be alone, and the place doesn’t reek of cigarette smoke and pot yet.
I find a spot to sit down and pull out my sketchbook, but I’d really rather be painting right now. Maybe I could do the sky, the mix of light blues and almost transparent purples. With just the barest hints of orange and green from the sun. It’s like now that I can pick up a brush, it’s all I want to do.
There’s this really cool drip painting I did last week, that I’m really proud of. Mrs. Liu was teaching the Art 1 class about Jackson Pollock, so she had me study and show off the way he did his drip-style paintings. Mrs. Liu actually liked it so much that she put it on the wall of the other student paintings, across from the one of the cardinal.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and search through my reference photos. The one true benefit of getting a new phone is that I can now clog all my extra storage with useless reference photos I’ll never get to use.
There’s one of a rose I have been using though, and I’m really liking how the sketch is coming out. I think I’ve got the perfect brushes to try and paint it too. The kind that will capture the delicate softness in the petals.
“Now, Benjamin, you know phones aren’t allowed at school.” I jump, and Nathan plops down next to me. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t scare me,” I lie. “And school hasn’t even started yet,” I argue without looking at him.
“Touché. What’s that?” He points to the half-finished drawing. I guess it is hard to tell what it’s supposed to be when it’s just vague lines sketched out.
“A rose.”
“Oh, nice.” He dramatically rolls over onto the grass next to the concrete steps, lounging out. “Draw me like one of your French girls.”
I stare at him.
“Titanic?”
“That’s a little dated, don’t you think?” I say.
Mom loves that movie. I remember begging to stay up and watch it with her so many times when it was on TV. Little did I know that it’s almost three hours long, so I’d always fall asleep before we even got to the iceberg scene.
“Whatever.” He shrugs me off. “Hey, can I see any more?”
It takes me a few seconds to realize he means the sketchbook. “Oh, um.”
“Just one? Come on.”
I sigh and start flipping through the pages quickly to find something that’s actually finished. There’s this idea for a painting I’ve been playing around with. It’s just a sketch, but I’m done with that part of the planning. “Just one,” I say, handing it to him.
Nathan’s smile grows wider, if that’s even possible, as he takes the pad. He handles it with the same care I’d expect him to give a baby.
“It isn’t going to break, you know.”
“I know,” he says, still setting it in his lap carefully. “This is really cool, Ben.”
“Thanks.” I feel my face get hot, so I turn away from him. Oh God, I’m not blushing, am I? “It’s an idea for a painting I have.”
“You paint too?”
“A little.” I reach for my phone. “I’ve just got some photos though.”
“Can I see one, please?” He hands the sketchbook back to me, leaning closer to get a look at my phone. I hope he doesn’t question the background. There’s this ice-skating anime Mariam and I both love, and I don’t think now’s the right time to explain just how gay it can really get.
“Hold on.” I flip through the camera roll, trying to find something he might like. “Give me a second?”
“Sure, I’ll even turn around.” Nathan tucks his knees up near his chest and swivels around on his butt, which can’t be comfortable on these concrete steps.
“You didn’t have to do all that.”
“Now you tell me!” He doesn’t sound too offended though. “I gave myself a wedgie doing that.”
I could show him the drip painting, but that doesn’t seem too impressive. There is this small painting of a skull I did, partially a study in anatomy. It isn’t perfect. I messed up on some of the colors and the shading, but overall it isn’t terrible. I tap Nathan on the shoulder and he leans back without turning around, grabbing the phone.
Please don’t start going through my phone. Please don’t start going through my phone.
“Ominous. You aren’t, like, secretly some dark lord or anything, right?” He laughs.
“If I was some evil overlord, I’d like to think I’d have better things to do than go to school.” I reach for the phone, but Nathan pulls it away at the last second.
“Not done.” He eyes it closely, spreading his fingers to zoom in.
“I messed up on the shading at the back, and the eyes are way too dark for where the light is supposed to be coming from.”
“Ben, this is pretty awesome.”
“Yeah, right.”
“No, I mean it. You need to give yourself more credit, dude.” He hands my phone back, and I feel that sting.
“Thanks.” I slide the phone back into my pocket. “So what are you doing here so early?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He leans back, trying to turn around without getting another wedgie.
“I asked you first.”
“Choir practice.” He grins.
“No way.” I try my best not to laugh. “Really?”
“Ha!” Nathan tosses his head back. “How gullible are you?”
“Shut up.” I shove him.
“For real though, I’m here for student council.”
“Serious this time?”
“One hundred and ten percent. Our lovely president, Stephanie, has to work after school and wanted to go ahead and start planning Spring Fling stuff. It isn’t even for another few weeks, but there’s a lot to do.” Nathan tries to keep back a yawn but fails miserably, wiping at his eyes.
“Spring Fling?” I ask.
“You know how most schools are obsessed with football and homecoming?”
I nod. I’m all too familiar with Spirit Week, and the pep rallies, and the football game, and dances.
“Well, here at good ol’ North Wake High we’re more of a baseball crowd, but that season doesn’t start until the spring, so we have Spring Fling. Just take everything you’d normally do during homecoming but crammed into March instead of November. There’s even a dance.”