“You mean Boy Scout? And no, that club wasn’t for the likes of me,” Lucas retorted.
“I’m sorry. It’s just been a long twenty-four hours. I really should be thankful.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, Kerry Girl, and you don’t need to be thankful.” Kerry was stilled by the surprising hint of steel in his voice. She looked into his dark eyes and saw how serious he was.
She nodded. “Okay, I won’t,” she said. “Still, you really don’t have to come with us. I don’t want to put you out any more than I already have and you can at least let me be thankful for that. Also, I don’t have that much to pack, so I can take a car back. Don’t worry,” she added, taking in his frown. “I’ve got this.” Kerry added a smile that she hoped was reassuring but felt the strain on the ends of it and knew she had failed terribly.
She looked at the three brothers, all so different but, in that way that family is, surprisingly similar. She could see the good in them. And Jesse did have valid points about the commute—compared to staying in an outer borough, she knew it would make her life so much easier, all things considered.
She glanced at him, and he smiled. It came so naturally, almost too naturally, and screw her foolish heart but it thumped, thumped, thumped harder and brighter in her chest as if it were waiting for him to wake it up. She hated her responses to his cues, his gestures, his every little quirk. It was fine when she was a teenager, but dammit, she should be well over it by now.
Jesse wasn’t the only man in her life. It wasn’t like she’d been crazy enough to think he cared about her or that she should somehow save herself for him. But still, after all this time, he was the only man in her heart, and here she was so many years later hanging on. Still an interloper in this family that wasn’t quite hers.
She didn’t have the right. They were going through so much with their current state of family upheaval, and now here she was interjecting herself into this already turbulent situation. She looked at Jesse. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m sorry for being an intrusion, and thank you.”
Jesse sighed, just as Damian suddenly shouted out, “Oh, enough. Stop apologizing, and cut it with saying ‘thank you’ already. You sure know how to beat shit into the ground, Kerry Girl.”
Heat rose quickly up her neck, straight to her ears. “Excuse me for trying to be polite even during my crisis.” Freaking Damian, being an ass. But where was the surprise in that?
He held up his hand. “Shouldn’t you get going?” he said. “That text implied it was time sensitive, so you’d better go and get your stuff while you can.”
Kerry blinked. Wait, was he really relenting? Like, out loud?
“I suggest you get moving quick,” he said, and sealed his declaration of relenting by waving his hand as if shooing away an annoying child. Damian now looked at Jesse. “And you, we need to talk more about your plans and how you intend to get the shop reopened as fast as possible. Because no money coming in means just that—no money coming in. I know you have remodeling plans, but you have to keep them in check. This is not just for you to run away with. We won’t be able to keep this space on dreams and wishes. Taxes are due soon, and who knows what else will come up. You need to keep that in mind.”
Lucas ran a hand across his forehead while Jesse shook his head and let out a breath. Kerry didn’t know if it was in anger or awe over his brother’s whacky reversal. Either way it was probably not supposed to be as sexy a gesture as it turned out to be, but still it was a lot to take in.
Lucas spoke, his words bringing Kerry’s gaze from Jesse. “You sure you’re okay getting your things on your own?”
Kerry blinked, trying to get a handle on herself. “I’m fine,” she answered, knowing it was maybe three-quarters of the truth.
His smile was only slightly reassuring. “Good luck, then. Give a shout if you need anything. It looks like my workout is going to be here, refereeing.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Jesse said sharply, catching a frown from both his brothers.
But Kerry could do nothing but agree. “Yes, I’ll be fine,” she said, and headed for the door.
“Of course she will,” Val said. “She has me!”
Now it was Kerry’s turn to dole out the hard glares.
* * *
As they hit the pavement, Kerry fought hard to hold on to her swirling emotions. She looked up Seventh Avenue at the tall NYCHA projects and the clear blue sky that framed the rooftop water towers. It was way too lovely a day for this much turmoil to be going on in her life. Then she turned and looked at Val, no longer able to hold back the words that had been champing to come up. “What the hell was that all about? You were supposed to have my back in there and yet you were practically throwing me to the lions.”
“Hmph,” Val countered. “If you’re lucky, you’ll be eaten by dinnertime.”
She shot Val a look that said she didn’t think she was even close to being funny. “Cut it out with that. I don’t need those kinds of complications in my life. It’s bad enough with this whole Mama Joy thing and the shop and me trying to figure out my job situation, and now I’ve got this apartment situation on top of it. What if it goes on indefinitely? I can’t afford rent anywhere else—hell, I can barely afford paying what I’m paying there now, which is why I’m looking for other positions.”
Val paused in her stride and looked at Kerry. “I thought you were looking for another job because you’d gotten your degree and were ready to move on.”
Kerry waved her off, not liking where this was going. Her friend was getting dangerously close to a place she wasn’t sure she was mentally or emotionally in the mood to visit. “Yeah, that too. But I do like working with the children at the center, and working at the shop makes me happy too.” The shop part she purposely tried to downplay.
“Oh, I’m sure it does.” Kerry didn’t like the smug look in Val’s eyes, but then her friend’s eyes softened and she gave Kerry’s arm a soothing rub. “Come on. Don’t. It won’t go on indefinitely. This is just one of those things that happens, and thank goodness it isn’t worse. If it was, you could have been hurt in that explosion.” She grinned. “And the best part of it all is you have the Harlem Knights, as they are all ready and willing to come to your rescue.” She thumbed her fist down the avenue toward Strong Knits. “Listen, there are plenty of worse situations to be in. The way both Jesse and Lucas were rushing to your side . . .” Val fanned herself with a wave of her hand. “Lucas with all that swagger, plus his smile and those firefighter muscles, and Jesse and his too-fine, sexy ass. Even the hard-ass demon Damian himself was swayed to your side. I almost peed myself right there.”