"I didn't know how to tell you. Actually, I didn't want to tell you, so I put it out of my mind." I twist my lip, trying not to bite it.
"So, you forgot to mention it? Did you think it would just go away or did you plan on something worse, maybe an accident?" With no warning, his words smack me across the face, adding injury to an already battered soul.
"Never, and to have you think that of me, hits me harder than he ever did." I lash out, not wanting to cause more damage but needing to protect myself. To cut deeper than any wound can heal from.
I hit my mark by the look of horror on his face.
"And because that's your opinion of me, is the reason we never worked to begin with. I love you, and this baby no matter how it got here." He stands, wandering to the door. "I never imagined anything would ever come between us, but I suppose, I didn't see you coming to do it either."
The echo rings throughout the room as the door shuts behind him. In that moment, I die. Falling to pieces, I end up in a puddle on the floor. Lying there as all my hopes and dreams bleed out by my hand.
I'm cemented to the spot, unwilling to move, as the last few hours play over and over in my mind. I can see where it all went wrong, and why he left.
I didn't even try to tell him to open up and bring him into my world. I wanted nothing to come between us, so I did. I placed the perfect storm into our path and watched as we self-destructed.
Day turns to night, and I drag myself across the floor and into bed. I breathe him in, begging for all of it to go away. With each passing minute, I'm faced with the fact that life is fleeting and to live... I must face it and fight.
Morning dawns, and still I lay here in my defeat. A war I started and need to win. But I've never been good at defending myself. Although, this foe is unlike my others.
I'm my own worst enemy. I created this monster, so I need to be the one to slay it. Coming to terms with the next few months will be hard, but at least Ridge won't have to pay for it.
"Harper Blaine! Where are you?" As though the slamming door wasn't enough to get my attention, the voice of my pissed off mother is. "Tell me right now, young lady!"
I toss the covers back over my head, sinking into the mattress in hopes she won't find me. Again, the sound of doors slamming echo all over the house.
"She's in their bedroom!" Emerson screams, while ripping away my fort of protection. "What in the hell, Harper?"
"You're pregnant?" Scout yells as she bursts through the door, followed by mom, Mackenzie and Maisyn.
Mackenzie leans against the closet door, purposely not looking at me. "Y'all, this ain't gonna help her."
"Nothing can." I mumble, forcing myself to sit up in the middle of the bed.
"Why in the hell wouldn't you tell us?" Mom plops down beside me, waiting on my answer.
Emerson is livid, that's evident by her pacing. "So, when I was taking you to those doctor appointments, it was for this?"
"Yes." I bite my lip, fisting my hair. "I seriously can't do this right now."
"But you damn well think my brother can?" Em crosses her arms, staring at me for answers, I don't have right now and maybe never will.
"I was scared, Em." I clinch my chest as my heart breaks into tiny pieces. "How I could I come back, ask him to not only forgive me but to love me again. After the way we ended before, I knew I had no right to ask him for forever."
I spring from the bed, rushing toward the door. I spin around, mirroring my world. Stopping abruptly to speak all my truths. "I love him! So much so, that I could never ask him to love me and the child of a monster like Weston. The man who not only threatened Ridge's life, but my own.
"He leveraged us against the other, I never wanted him, and he knew that. I've loved Ridge from the time I was ten years old and got lost in his soul. I want so much for this to be Ridge's baby. I can't ask him to be its father, when it could be the same monster Weston was." I fall to the floor, praying I die.
Emerson is to me before anyone else can be. "Oh, Harp. He could never not love you or your baby. You're his entire world. Why would you ever think he wouldn't stand by you?"
"I couldn't ask him to, Em. It isn't fair." I sob as she sways with me in her arms.
"It's as if you know nothing about him." Mackenzie shakes her head in disbelief. "Isn't the reason you fell in love with him was because he loved you unconditionally?"
"Why wouldn't you at least tell us? Don't you know, we're here for you. There's absolutely no limit to our love." Mom takes my hand, holding it to her heart. "You're my baby, I'll love you no matter what life hands us."
Maisyn dabs her eyes with a tissue. "Kinda like another fella we all know, loves you with his entire being."
"I can't, not with everything Weston put us through. I wanted to forget, and I ran. The day I left; I knew this baby's only chance was to leave."
"Did he know?" Mom's frown deepens.
I shake my head. "No, I hid it from him. Another reason I'm so small, I couldn't tell him. He made me abort one early in our marriage and beat me until I miscarried another.
"It's not because it's his baby I wanted to protect it, but because it's a part of me. I want this baby; my only regret is that Ridge isn't its father."
"Only because you won't let him be." Mackenzie winces with her words. "Sorry."
"You’re fine, she needs to hear it." Mom smirks. "He's the reason we're here."
I search her face. "Who is?"
"Ridge," Scout joins me on the floor. "he thought you'd need us."
"Why would he do this, after everything he knows?" I rub the crease in my forehead.
"Love," Mackenzie's tears fall freely. "he's never wanted anything more or anyone else."
I shrug. "Even if I don't deserve him?"
"As Lea once said, 'what do we deserve, if not love'." Mom kisses the back of my hand.
"She's good." Maisyn nods. "As a matter of fact, I think a talk with her would do you good."
"But first," Scout raises her brows. "a baby shower!"
Without warning, my tears fall again. "We don't deserve one."
"Hell, everybody needs a shower and even if it's just us, it'll be great! Besides, I left Ridge scrolling through baby items on his phone. Baby Jennings will want for nothing." Mackenzie winks at me.
"I don't understand." I hang my head in shame.
Maisyn wraps me and Emerson in her arms. "Nothing to figure out, we love you all."
"By the way, how far along are you?" Scout's brows pull low.
I bite and release my bottom lip. "Eight months."
"Come again?" She leans in, pretending she didn't hear me.
I roll my eyes. "I'm small but the baby's healthy. I've been wearing leggings and Ridge's shirts; they cover a multitude of sins."
"Alright. Wow." Mackenzie blinks, staring at Maisyn.
"He was right on the dot." Maisyn snickers.
Mackenzie half shrugs. "He's been practically a midwife; I suppose he should know."