"Ridge guessed how far along she is?" Emerson's eyes widen. "I guess he does know your body good."
"Oh, my god!" I bury my face in my hands.
Scout pats my knee. "Don't be embarrassed. We've all been in the room with you two and see the way he looks at you."
"It's to be expected." Mom giggles.
"So, what now?" I huff.
Maisyn laughs. "We've got this, you need to give birth and get that man back."
"I'd rather have a dry birth than to face him again."
"No, you wouldn't." Mom pushes my hair behind my ear. "Get up, shower, and be the strong and courageous woman that we all know you are."
I release my nail from my teeth. "I can't face him, not yet."
"Alright, there's plenty of time to figure it out." Mom kisses the top of my head, as Emerson helps me out of the floor.
I love him, but I can't ask him to do this, to help clean up the mess I've created. Not today, or even in the foreseeable future. I have to face the hard truth, I've lost Ridge.
I'm lost. How can a person find and lose his counterpoint in one lifetime? It's a cruel joke, a hoax that speaks of genuine love. One that forgives all things.
The ocean ebbs and flows, battering the shore as love beats my heart into nonexistence. I need to see her, hold her, and tell her we're going to okay.
"What in the hell are you doing?" I cringe as Landon's words creep into my solace.
"Hating myself. You?" I lean down, grabbing another beer.
It's jerk straight from my hand. "Thanks asshat." Boone chuckles as he pops the lid.
"Wow, I'm feeling the love and support at my greatest hour." I pound my chest. Honestly, I'm just checking to see if my heart is still there.
"Well, this isn't the time." I gasp as I'm slapped on the back. I tightly close my eyes, wishing it's not who I think it is. "Again, what the hell are you doing?"
I nod, swallowing past the knot in my throat. "One."
"Ridge." He returns it, tossing his head back. "Is there a particular reason you're hiding out here?"
"I'm not hiding. Besides, I'm thinking Harper has that skill set marketed." My response is snide and hateful, I immediately regret it. "I didn't mean that."
"You're hurt, we get it. Not a man here hasn't been in your shoes in some way or fashion. Still doesn't mean you run away." Boone slams my face straight into the sand, not literally, but figuratively.
"Man, I waited for weeks for her to be honest with me. I begged her to open up, to trust me with everything." I toss a seashell from the pile beside me.
One scratches his beard. "So, you finally confront her, and she confides in you, you run? I'm not sure that's how it works."
"I didn't run. I walked away." I half shrug. "She knows where to find me."
"Wait a fucking minute," Landon plants himself in front of me. "it's not enough she risked her life to leave him and want to protect an innocent child, but she needs to run to you and beg forgiveness for doing so."
"Fuck you, Landon." I leap to my feet. "Why didn't you tell me? Did no one think I deserved to know?"
"How did you find out?" Boone leans in, hoping to calm the situation. "I mean, besides having sex with her."
Landon covers his ears. "Eww, no. I don't want to hear this! That's my sister!"
"Dude, it wasn't our first time, that night or the other times." I snicker.
"I'm gonna to punch you in the face. I refuse to hear about you bumpin' uglies with my twin sister." He yells, throwing a tantrum.
One elbows me, smirking. "Are you jealous? I'm thinking you're jealous. I mean, you are twins and they have that connection. Do you feel anything for Ridge?"
"This shit’s funny." Boone chuckles beside me. "He's a good-looking guy, Landon. I'd do him."
Landon flips us off. "Forget y'all."
"Ridge, I think all of us here can relate to your feelings right now. Hadlea struggled to tell me about our children, and none of us have to remind you of Mackenzie's story." One shoves his hands in his pockets. The damn man is a god amongst men, and yet he knows exactly how I feel.
"Of all people, Harper knows rumors and innuendos ruined us the first time around. We didn't talk and allowed that to get between us. I've waited for weeks for her to tell me."
"Again, how did you find out?" Boone punches my arm.
I drop my head in shame, knowing I was wrong for keeping it a secret as much as she was. "The night I found her in my floor. I got an alert on my app someone was in the house. She was so broken, releasing it the only way she knew how. All she wanted was to protect me and her baby. I waited, y'all. As long as I could but after making love to her, it was time she faced this or we could never go on."
"That's tough, but it still doesn't explain why you left her." One cocks his brow with skepticism.
I rub my chest as a fissure develops, threatening to rip my heart and soul from me. "We're not like others, we figured this out a long time ago. Silence fixes nothing. When she couldn't bring herself to tell me, it felt like a judgment on our love.
"If it can't withstand a grain of salt like her truth in this cold vast world, well then, how will she ever have faith in me or it, enough for us to survive. Isn't our love greater? It feels as though she doesn't think so."
"Damn." Boone gapes at me. "That's deep as hell."
One places his hand on my shoulder. "Love will never be black and white; it will forever have shades of gray. Those areas or things, we all must decide if we can live with to love the other."
"Fuck! Am I even an adult? That's deep shit y'all." Landon runs his hand through his hair.
"If she ever figures out if she can trust me with the hard stuff, she knows how to find me." My gut twists and I fight the rising bile.
Boone tosses a shell into the ocean. "What if she takes longer than you can handle?"
"Unlike you, I'll hunt her ass down and make her love me." I glare at him.
"Sounds like a plan." Landon chuckles.
One shrugs. "It's actually what I did."
"Seriously, I want to be there with her. Harper's been through enough on her own, but until she wants me there, I can't be."
Boone reaches down and grabs another beer. "Here. She's as hardheaded as mine, you're gonna need this."
"If she doesn't scare you, make you want to marry her, and want to fight all at the same time, she ain't worth it." One boast.
Landon shakes his fist in the air. "Women! You can't live with them, and we don't want to find out."
"Ain't it the truth." Boone tosses his drink back as we laugh and swap war stories over the next few hours.
"If Harper ever decides that I deserve to help raise her baby, knowing full well I'd love them with all that I am, I'm there for it. It's been the only thing I've ever genuinely wanted."
One holds up a beer, and we meet it with ours. "To the women that own us, the ones that never will, and the ones that taught us what a good damn woman is worth."