“Yep.”
“I have to find him. I have to talk to him.” I climbed to my feet. “He said he was going to that party at Mort’s.”
“He won’t be going to the party now,” Gerry said. “Too upset, from what I saw. Gonna wanna be alone.”
My heart pounded, desperation and regret making my chest hurt. “Then his apartment. I know where he lives.”
“Doubt he’ll be there. When he’s really upset, he looks for fish.”
I brushed sand off my jeans, then did a doubletake at Gerry. “You think he went fishing?”
“No, just likes to be near fish. Says they have simple thoughts.” He stubbed his cigar out on the seawall. “Soothing energy.”
“That’s great, Gerry. He likes to be near fish. We live on the fucking ocean. Can you be more specific?”
He chuckled. “Aquarium would be my first guess.”
I checked my watch. “The aquarium closed an hour ago.”
Gerry checked his own watch. “Ah, you’re right. Guess you’re gonna have to go for a little hike then.”
“Where?”
“Fish pond.” He brushed his hands together, then straightened his shirt. “The stocked pond out in the woods between the second and third hillock. You know it?”
“Yes.” I started away then turned back. “You really think that’s where he is?”
“With the aquarium closed, that’d be my best guess. But Kurt, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Orion’s a love, but that boy can put up ten layers of wall if someone hurts him. And you hurt him tonight. Bad.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
“Kurt, hang on.” As I started walking away, Gerry caught up to me. “Walk with me to my car first,” he said. “Heading out into those woods in the dark, you’re gonna need a flashlight. Got one in my trunk.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“God, I need to find him. I really fucked things up tonight.”
“Yeah, you did.”
“I know. Most of what I said was jealousy. Possessiveness. That and the shock fucked with my mind and made me paranoid. My worst instincts and insecurities all came out. I became a dipshit. I just…I got so worked up. I never react like this.”
“Well, you got hit with a pretty heavy dose of reality to digest all at once. Orion hoped he could get that all behind him without it touching you. But these things have a way of coming out when they damn well please, at bad moments when no one’s ready for it. Was bound to affect you somehow.”
“It did. Turned me into a dipshit.”
He slung his arm over my shoulder and gave me a quick squeeze. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all dipshits sometimes.”
The simple kindness nearly broke me. In the midst of despair, I was overcome with gratefulness. “Thank you, Gerry. I mean it.”
“Anytime.”
“I’m sorry I was a dick to you.”
“I know you are. It’s all right.”
****
I’d forgotten how dark the woods could be at night, and was grateful for the flashlight Gerry gave me. I tried not to consider how thoroughly I’d just humiliated myself in front of the mayor of Hillock Beach. There would be time for that later, when I had a whisky in hand and was soaking in a nice warm bath of shame.
Mine was not the only flashlight out here; I could see the occasional bobbing beam up on the Hillocks and sometimes only a few yards from me in the woods. Of course. Tourists hiked at night. It was a small comfort, that I wasn’t out here all alone. I wasn’t exactly afraid, because I knew these woods inside out, having crawled all over them since childhood. But never at night, by myself.
As I headed toward the fishpond, I passed by a couple men coming the other way on the same path, and we exchanged polite greetings, them remarking on wasn’t it a beautiful night and so on. I gave my cheery ‘Sure is!’ retort, even though this was one of the worst nights of my life.
I ached. With guilt and regret and desperation. I needed to find Orion and apologize for the vile things I said. Whatever he’d done, whatever he lied about or kept secret from me, he didn’t deserve what I said to him. And I felt a hundred times worse reliving my own words now that I knew he’d told Gerry Spooner he was falling for me.
I cursed as I turned off the trail onto a narrower path through the brush that led to the stocked fishing pond where Gerry thought Orion might be. Something drew my eye in the trees above, making me jump, and I watched a luminescent angel fly over my head. I was glad Orion had brought me to the tourism council’s headquarters, or I might have shit myself at the sight.
I hoped I’d find Orion alone once I got to the pond. I could hear a chorus of frogs in the distance, so knew I was getting close. My path opened to a wide clearing, the big slope of one hillock to my left, and the other hillock farther in the distance to my right. I stopped for a moment and looked around. It was a beautiful spot, and I took a moment to peer up at the sky, watching the sparse clouds move past the moon. The stars were crazy bright overhead, and when I spotted three side by side, I knew I was looking at Orion’s Belt.
I imagined those three stars each shooting a beam down, lighting up the three hillocks, connecting them the way people talked about the pyramids in Egypt. But that wasn’t going to happen. The only magic I’d find tonight would be holographic fairies, or if I was really lucky, the miracle of Orion’s forgiveness.
I started across the moonlit grass to where the path continued twenty feet up, and once I hit it, the trees closed in around me again. I yelped, startled as a glowing deer leapt across the path. At least that one was a real animal. I wondered if the tourism council had good insurance, because the sparkly animals and all their little tricks out here were surely going to give someone a coronary.
I reached the fishpond, a skating rink sized body of glassy water surrounded by pebbled sand and banks of damp grass. A metal sign on a post had images and descriptions of all the fish one might find in the pond. I saw someone sitting at the pond’s edge, but when I walked over, a woman looked up with startled eyes. “I’m waiting for my boyfriend. He’ll be right here.”
I took an immediate step back, because I didn’t want to frighten her—and she looked ready to taze me. “Sorry, I was just looking for someone. I’ll go circle the pond. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
Her shoulders relaxed with a sigh. “Okay.”
I walked the entire, mud-soaked, mosquito-ridden circumference of the pond, and found no one. Orion wasn’t here. Unless he was sitting under a tree nearby or something and I just couldn’t see him. I decided to risk sending him a text. If he was out here, I didn’t want to miss him.
‘I need to apologize. I’m so sorry for the awful things I said. I know I was so wrong, about everything. I’m at the fishpond out in the hillocks. Are you here? Someone said you might be.’
My text was immediately read, but no reply came. I started back the way I came, heading down the path that led to the main trail. When I reached the clearing between the hillocks again, my phone bleeped.
‘I’m not at the fishpond, go home you stupid ass. I don’t want to talk. If you text again I’m gonna block your number.’